First Love, The Sinner & The Saint

At Deaths Door.

Jaxon

This morning I woke up feeling amazing. Ria was in my bed, she looked so beautiful, I didn't remember it but I knew what had happened last night, she was naked, I was too.

I was shocked there was no alarm and no running out the house, she was nothing like Sofia she actually wanted to stay.
In Sofia's defence it's not like she wanted to leave, she had school. I wondered where she was right now. I missed her.

I climbed out of bed, took another look at Ria and then went downstair's to make her breakfast, I got out maple bacon and scrambled egg's, she could have it with toast I thought. An a cuppa coffee.

Once I had prepared it for her I placed it on a tray and I took it up to her.
She looked beautiful and so peaceful sleeping, 'not like how Sofia looked when she was asleep, the poor girl always looked troubled, but then she knew the real me' I thought to myself, it's no wonder Sofia wasn't a sound sleeper.

I left the tray next to Ria, I decided not to wake her just yet, I would have a shower first and then wake her.

As I was about to head for the shower I thought to myself 'last night is massive blur, I don't remembered sleeping with Ria but I remembered every time with Sofia'. the only way I was sure I HAD slept with Ria was her nakedness and the used condom discarded on the floor, 'ew gross' I thought as I picked the condom up and chucked it in the bathroom bin.

After my shower I went back into my bedroom with a towel wrapped around my waist, she was awake by now, lay in my bed smiling at me.

"Good morning handsome" she yawned sleepily.
"You look even better in the morning beautiful" I said winking at her, I had almost called her sweetheart, but I couldn't do that, that was Sofia.
"Breakfast was amazing so was last night.." She winked at me. At least she remembered it.
"I can't actually remember last night can we re-cap it??" I smirked.
"Oh thank god it's not just me that can't remember, I was trying to play it cool" she said and we both burst out laughing.

We looked each other in the eye and started kissing, 'wow' I thought 'she know's her stuff', then I started getting jealous' how many other guy's has she kissed like this before', shit, the old me coming back, I had to get rid of these thoughts.

I went down her chest kissing her and biting her nipples.
I started kissing her below the waist she pushed my head down towards her pussy I thought to myself 'shes a girl that know's what she wants' and of course I didn't want to disappoint. I knew my tongue was skilled but her moan's made me feel great about my talents.

She then got on top of me, riding me so fast I couldn't keep up, she was amazing.
I'm not saying she was as good as Sofia but she was definitely up there.
She started to look tired so the gentleman that I am, I took over pushing her on the bed, I took charge.

I couldn't believe my eye's she looked bored! I had to come out with something fast, so I flipped her into doggy style and started pulling her hair she was grabbing the sheet's and pushing herself back against me wanting more. The sweat was poring off both of us, I needed another shower.

So we moved it in to the shower, its crazy what you can do in a shower, if anything it feel's better, she grabbed the dial and turned the shower to cold.

I suddenly remembered the time Sofia done that, I saw Sofia in my mind, the way she had fucked me in the shower just got me even more turned on.
I couldn't stop myself. I had to cum instantly, shit. I had cumed thinking about Sofia does that make me a horrible person?

After the shower I kind of felt pretty awkward, I made small talk with Ria and then her beeper went off she had an emergency at work, what a relief.

I didn't have any where to be so I thought 'I might get in the car and pop over to Sofia's place to see what she is up to' I wasn't going to talk to her or anything I told myself.

I had been sat outside Sofia's dads house for 3 hour's now, time just got away from me.
Does this make me a stalker?
I've seen her Dad's go in and out of the house and her sister Ruby, I've seen Freya stop by. oh how I felt bad for her, but I couldn't dwell on that where the fuck was Sofia ??

I tried to put it at the back of my mind 'she's probably at her mother's again she did this last time we split up.' The thought reassured me a little.
At least she had somewhere to go when life got tough.. I felt so alone.
I know I had Ria but she didn't know me, not really and I missed Ezra more than you could ever imagine.
I took my phone out trying to call him but I was hit with a dialling tone and the word's "Calls to this number are barred" I wasn't surprised he had blocked my number but right now I really needed someone to talk to, I was at my lowest.

At this point I drove to the nearest shop and went and got some whiskey and a paper and pen, and headed to the lake.
I got out of my car and went over to the first boat I saw and took the anchor rope and headed back to my car home...

As I got in the house I told alexa to play the radio, I poured a whiskey and started writing a goodbye note to Ezra and Sofia.. playing on the radio was 'Little Do You Know' By Alex & Sierra.
I drank my first glass of whiskey and wrote the words

My darling Sofia..

You made me realize what love was, you were the best thing that could ever happen to me, you gave me so much strength, strength I didn't know I had.
You were the first person to treat me like a human being, and even after you knew what I had done you loved me harder, loosing you has affected me in way's you wouldn't believe.
Losing my chance at being a parent with you, that killed me inside.
I've been holding on to the idea of you being my wife and having my children in the future, it kept me going but I now know that was a fantasy.
I have to let you go now but to do that I have to free myself too
I'm so sorry for ruining your life, please never forget me..

love you alway's your Jaxon xxxx

At this point tear's were streaming down my face, I felt numb.
I screwed a hook into the living room ceiling and hung the rope; I was ready now.
I placed the letter to Sofia on the counter, I had decided not to write one to Ezra, we had said all that needed to be said to each other.
I climbed on a chair and wrapped the rope around my neck and got ready to step off the chair.
I was terrified, so much rushed through my head at that moment. Like my whole life was flashing before me and I was just watching it from a distance, I felt lighter, like all the bad was about to me, my spirit would finally be free; I wouldn't be the fucked up man I am now.
I was about to step off the chair where I heard on the radio..

"Annabelle Reed has been released from police custody after a young women confessed to 5 counts of murder including the two strip club murder's that Annabelle had been charged with, the young women had been remanded awaiting trial, the police are shocked by the fact the women was only 15 year's of age at the time of the murders the women that can only be identified as Miss R for legal reasons will appear before the judge by December more on this story as it develops.

What was Sofia thinking I had to get her out of this...