Byakuya x Renji
Renji's POV
"Renji" I looked up from my paperwork when I heard my captain's voice calling for me.
"Yes, taicho?" I answered back ready to stand up.
"I'll come by your room later to give you some stuff to do" he said and returned back to his paperwork.
Oh, again. Well, you see, every time he says that the following things happen. He will come by my room, I'll invite him in, we have sex and then he will leave as soon as we're done. To be honest, it's kinda frustrating. We aren't in a relationship, yet we still have sex. He doesn't show emotions and the worst part is that the next day he acts as if nothing happened. He never stays with me, saying that "If we get caught, the division's name will be spoiled" but u can't help but think...
Does he feel something for me or am I just a sex toy?
And the worst part?
I have fallen in love with him. Over the past few months since the first day we did it, my feelings started to grow more intense about him. And trying to suppress them all inside every day is unbearable.
"Renji" his voice snapped me out of my thoughts as I shot my head up.
"Yes, taicho?"
"Are you done with your paperwork?"
"No sir, just a few more and I will be done"
"Very well. When you are done, come by my chambers" he looked at me with the same face when he looked at me earlier.
I gulped and nodded my head as he exited the office. I sighed and let my brush down, taking my head into my hands.
I'm gonna get my heart broken, aren't I?
Suddenly, Rukia's words echoed through my mind.
"Listen, Renji. I don't want to sound too harsh but I'm your beat friend and it's my obligation to tell you the truth. Nii-sama, he's a difficult person. He won't open up easily. Don't fall in love with him. As harsh as this sounds, you will probably get your heart broken. Don't open up too much, because then, closing up again will be painful and slow. But, there is a possibility of him returning your feelings. Maybe a 0,1% but there is. Will you take the risk for that small 0,1%?"
I sighed as I signed the last piece of paper.
"I think it would be better if you told him your true feelings. That's what I did with Ikkaku and look at us now! Honesty is probably the best way to go with Kuchiki-taicho" Yumichika's voice rang through my mind.
But, was it really worth it? Admiting my true feelings for that small 0,1%? And if I get my heart broken? Oh come on Renji! Just do it!
I slapped myself on the cheeks and then left the office, walking towards the captain's chambers. I stood in front of the door and before I could knock a voice was heard.
"Come in, Renji"
I slid open the door and walked inside, taking in the room. This was my first time in the captain's room so I was quite curious. The room was big, with a double bed, a desk, a bookshelf and a hanger for the captain's uniform.
I was busy admiring the room when I felt him pin me on the wall.
"I didn't invite you in my room so you could look at it" he whispered and kissed me roughly in one go, making me gasp as he entered my mouth.
Well, here we go again...
~~~time skip~~~
I woke up in the middle of the night, looking around and seeing the unfamiliar room. I looked on my right and saw Byakuya, his eyelids closed and his body exposed to my eyes as he slept. I smiled softly then looked out of the window. The sky was dark so it was probably around 3-4 am.
I got up and winced at the pain, as I slowly walked towards the window. The moon was big, illuminating the view below, as I breathed in the smelly of the cherry blossoms.
"...Honesty is probably the best way to go with Kuchiki-taicho... Will you take the risk for that small 0,1%?..." their voices came back to me.
I turned around and walked back to the bed and sat on it, looking at Byakuya's sleeping face.
"I'm sorry, but there's no other way I can tell you about this. I love you. I really do. I don't know when, I don't know how, but I do. And it hurts, knowing that you will never return my feelings. I'm sorry I can't confess my feelings face to face with you. I wish I could, but I'm too much of a coward to do so. I love you even if you don't love me back. I don't expect you to love someone as low as me. I'm content with what we have. I love you so much it hurts" I whispered the last part softly.
"Then why didn't you tell me earlier?" my eyes widened as I looked at him, his eyes open and looking straight at me.
"T-taicho?"
"Renji, listen and don't interrupt me" my mouth closed as he sat up.
"I love you too. If I didn't love you then I wouldn't do all these things with you. It hurts so much to try to restrain myself and not hug you and kiss you and show affection towards you. I tried to distance myself every time we had sex because I thought that this would make you hate me and eventually I'd get over you too. But turns out I was wrong. Tonight I was planning this on being the last time we had sex, but now that I know your true feelings, I can't just give you up so easily. I can't just lose the one person that I managed to love" he whispered the last part quietly.
I teared up as I launched myself on him, hugging him tight and sending us both down on the bed.
"So, does that mean that you accept my feelings?" he asked while rubbing my hair.
"Of course I do!" I cried and kissed him on the lips hard.
"I guess it's official then" he pulled back and smiled softly at me. I nodded smiling with tears still running down my face as we slowly fell asleep hugging one another.
Okay so I wrote this at 2 in the morning so you better appreciate it, now I'm going to sleep, goodnight!
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