Jungkook's infatuation with his literature professor quickly graduates from a sweet and innocent school boy crush to a hot and steamy Skool Luv Affair to a full blown forbidden romance that constantly tests their love for one another.
1st chapter pu...
Jungkook's story was absolutely devastating to me. I could almost visualize everything he was telling me as if it were a movie playing in my mind that continued to unfold into one heart wrenching scene after another.
There were so many times I had to stop myself from getting up, grabbing hold of him, and pulling him into a consoling embrace. I just wanted to hug him so bad! Thankfully, he'd held himself together well, only a stray tear here or there, because if he'd broken down in front of me, I wouldn't have been able to contain myself.
I also was surprised at how well I managed to keep it together myself, but once I'd gotten home, I could feel my composure quickly slipping away. It was one of those days I thanked my lucky stars that Siwon was away on a business trip as usual. I just needed to be alone with my thoughts and the plethora of emotions that had suddenly consumed me.
The moment I walked through my front door, I dropped my briefcase and keys in their proper places, slipped off my Manolos, and headed straight for my ensuite bathroom, stripping on the way there. My shower had always been my place of solace ever since I was a teenager. It was the only place in the house where I could escape my overbearing mother's ridicule and subjective judgments. There, I knew she wouldn't be able to bother me, and even if she tried, I could drown her out with the white noise of the running water.
Now, even as an adult who lived alone most of the time, it was still my favorite place to go when I needed to process something that was heavy on my mind, or I simply needed a good cry. When I was done, I would always imagine whatever issue I was having being washed down the drain. Not to mention, there was just something about being amidst the cascading water and cloudy steam of the shower that was so relaxing and tranquil that it made my mind feel clearer and more at ease.
Once I turned on the torrent and stood directly underneath it, my heart nor my legs could withstand the overwhelming sorrow I was feeling any longer. With hot tears flooding my eyes and streaming down my face, I fell to my knees on the cold, hard, marble floor, choking on inconsolable sobs of anguish for Jungkook, for his broken family, and for the younger version of myself who could relate to his story on so many levels.
Hearing him talk about all the anger he was feeling and keeping bottled up inside made my chest ache for him. In the deepest depths of my being, I could feel his pain because I had walked in those shoes before, and I knew better than anyone what it was like to find out that your perfect little family was anything but.
He'd been through hell over the past few weeks and had been tormenting and blaming himself because he couldn't 'fix' his family, because he was unaware of the circumstances leading up to his parents' separation, and because he was mad at his mom before he knew her real reason for leaving. All things that were not his fault.
I tried my best to reassure him and help him understand that he could have had no way of knowing about his parents and that he was in no way responsible for what happened between them, but I knew from experience, it'd be a while before he could fully accept it. My goal was only to plant the seed and hope that it would take root in his heart eventually.
After my shower, I spent a few moments relaxing on the couch with a cold cucumber slice over each of my swollen, red-rimmed eyes hoping to soothe them. Since I had been crying in the shower for close to an hour, I already knew I would look a hot mess in the morning if I didn't give them a little TLC before I went to bed. Then, I made myself a steaming hot cup of passion flower tea to relieve my anxiety and combat my insomnia because the last thing I needed was to be up all night crying, thinking about Jungkook.
Curling up in my bed with my iPad and my positivi-tea mug, I opened my kindle app to catch up on some reading since that was my favorite way to wind down after a long day. I'd barely made it past the first few pages before my thoughts were invaded by unbidden images of Jungkook, but they weren't the despondent thoughts I would have expected. Instead, they were thoughts of his innocent smile and the way his knee bounced uncontrollably whenever he was nervous, which seemed to be most of the time when he was around me.
The idea that I could so effortlessly make him react in such a way made parts of my anatomy react in ways I wasn't proud of. And that was precisely why I'd kept him at arms length for so long and why I'd worked so hard to make myself believe that his kindness and adorable shyness were a facade.
Besides the fact that he reminded me of my ex, I knew he had the potential to make me think and feel things that I shouldn't, with those alluring brown irises, those succulent lips and addictive smile, and dear god, that divinely crafted body of his. The mere thought of him made the area between my thighs clench and tingle while the rest my body ran hot with all kinds of un-teacher-like responses, which told me he was someone I needed to say far away from.
In the following weeks, however, I'd found myself thinking about Jungkook pretty much nonstop, and it didn't help that he had kinda made a habit of stopping by my office every other day or so just to say 'hi', especially on the days he didn't have class with me. Or he'd drop by to ask questions I was pretty sure he already knew the answers to. He'd even gone so far as to ask if I would tutor him because 'he didn't quite understand the assignments'. Knowing he didn't really need help, I acquiesced simply because I enjoyed having him around.
It was obvious that he was getting a little too attached to me, and although I wouldn't admit it to anyone out loud, I was starting to get attached to him too. I knew I was playing with fire, but I couldn't help relishing in the idea that he wanted to spend time with me. At least someone did, and it felt good. I looked forward to his visits, probably more than he did, and I was even a tad disappointed on the rare occasions he didn't stop by.
That day in my office, once he had gotten what he needed to off his chest about his parents and we'd set up a plan of action to get his grades back on track, we really connected, and we'd since developed an even deeper bond. We'd learned that we shared quite a few similar interests, like our love for physical fitness, but it wasn't supposed to be that way.
Jungkook and I were never supposed to have things in common or relate to one another on such a deep level, but we did and we had, and I had to admit, I wasn't mad about it either. I really liked him, and I thought he was smart and kind and such an amazing person who deserved all the happiness in the world. That was my deepest desire for him, to heal and be happy.
There was a part of me that wished I could have protected him and every other child and young adult in the world from ever having to experience the pain we were both now so well acquainted with, but unfortunately, I couldn't. So, instead I'd helped him learn constructive ways to manage and cope with it, the same way I did, and it really seemed to help him. He was visibly happier, more energetic, and his smile had gotten brighter, which in turn had me smiling more too, although I didn't realize it until he'd brought it to my attention in our most recent tutoring session.
It made me wonder if he knew that it was all because of him.
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You guys still with me? I know JK's story has been a little heavy so far, but things are going to heat up soon. Thank you for reading! Please don't forget to vote! 💜
