Catch 22 - JJK (21+)

Chapter 8 - Questions

JUNGKOOK

The moment I pulled into the parking lot of the fancy strip mall, I realized I was at the right place. I spotted Dr. Taylor almost immediately as she exited her car which was parked only a few spaces down from mine. She opened the back door on the driver side to grab a bag out of the back seat before closing and then locking her car doors, the horn beeping and headlights blinking as she strutted away.

Thankfully, she didn't notice me because I hadn't yet decided if I was actually going to go through with this ridiculous idea. I sat and watched intently as she disappeared into the building with the bag on her shoulder.

It wasn't until she was completely out of sight that I focused in on her car again. I knew professors made pretty good money, but damn, that was a really nice, expensive car. Just seeing the type of car she drove was a reminder of how drastically different our worlds were, but for some reason, that intrigued me even more.

Honestly, I couldn't wrap my mind around this infatuation I had with her, though. Not only was she way out of my league and much older than me, she was my teacher who also had a boyfriend, which made this idea even more absurd.

Yes, she had been tolerating me more recently, but probably only because she felt sorry for the kid who almost flunked out of college because his dad couldn't keep it in his pants. Was that the reason she was being so nice to me now? That thought now suddenly making me feel stupid.

"What the fuck are you doing, Kook? Because it kinda looks like you're sitting outside of a yoga studio stalking your lit professor." I spoke the words out loud, giving myself the verbal slap in the face I needed to wake up, come to my senses and stop this craziness.

Shifting the car in reverse, I prepared myself to back out of the parking space. There was a part of me that knew I should go home before I potentially ruined all the progress we'd made over the past few weeks. She had been so kind to me lately, and the last thing I wanted to do was upset her or make her uncomfortable in any way.

But then, there was that other part of me, a much stronger part, that believed she wasn't being nice to me because of the circumstances alone.  Maybe I was delusional, but I soothed myself with the thought that she enjoyed my company as much as I enjoyed hers. As a matter of fact, I believed that she was also just as attracted to me as I was to her.

Many times I'd noticed how she'd steal subtle glances at me during class or how she would seemingly try to hide her blush sometimes when I caught her. I thought I might have been imagining it at the time, but now looking back on it, I couldn't help but feel like there was so much more to all of this than could be seen on the surface.

For weeks now, I'd been pretending that I didn't understand the assignments, and she had been pretending that she didn't know I was a fraud. I mean in my defense, requesting her help wasn't complete bs. I actually was having trouble keeping up with her lectures, oftentimes missing tons of information because I was so distracted by my thoughts of her during class. But what was her excuse? She knew I was doing fine in her class, so why would she even entertain my 'tutoring' request?

Those were the questions that I pondered as I sat there with my foot still pressed firmly on the brake, and those were the questions I was desperately seeking answers to... the very questions that made me shift the gear back into park again. Still feeling torn, but trusting my gut that I was making the right decision, I got out, grabbed the backpack I always kept in the car with a change of workout clothes for days I had clients, and I headed inside with my heart thumping audibly against my chest.