Fearless (Book 1 of the "Fearless" Series) [Completed]

Chapter 33 - Someone Has a Secret

June 1, 2012
London, England

[Karsyn]

The flight from Perth to London was miserable. Emmileigh slept almost the entire time, but I was awake, playing on my laptop. Telling Nick goodbye was harder than I thought it was going to be, even though I'm seeing him in a few days. There's so much playing on my mind that I just couldn't sleep.

But I did once we got back to London. And Emmileigh had to wake me up. It was like I couldn't get enough sleep. I guess the tour had really worn me down and I was nervous about going home.

I sat on the sofa in Emmileigh's apartment, watching an episode of "Friends" while she was gone to deal with some of her visa paperwork. After weeks of traveling, I just wanted to be a little lazy.

I heard my phone vibrate on the table beside the sofa and reached over, smiling to see that it was Nick.

It's not the same without you here.

I smiled, texting him back, tell him I missed him, too.

Then it vibrated again.

24 hours :)

I sighed, texting him back a smile and put my phone beside me on the sofa.

I had 24 hours until I was back in North Carolina and I didn't know if I was ready.

[/Karsyn]

[Emmileigh]

Leaving Donnie was like me leaving an arm there or something. It didn't feel right. I admit I cried a little, although I'm sure Karsyn just thought I was sleeping, but I was awake for most of the flight. I was quite literally counting down the minutes and hours until I could see Donnie again.

I certainly wasn't looking forward to going home. Sure, my mum had no idea when I was back, so that was a plus.. and I was leaving in just a few more days, but being home just reminded me that I really, really didn't want to be there.

And I was guessing that Karsyn was feeling the same too in some ways. She'd been awfully quiet since we'd been back at mine, sleeping a lot, moping around. I knew she missed Nick a hell of alot too, but this was a side I hadn't seen of her before.

It did get me thinking, though. I knew of one reason why she would be acting this way, but I wasn't so sure I should bring it up.

I guess if she was still acting weird when I got back I'd bring it up and just see.

I was up bright and early, despite the fact my body wanted me to sleep. I had a quick breakfast before rushing out of my apartment and down the street to the tube. I had an appointment at the American Embassy.

I was applying for my working visa.

I was nervous, having never done anything like this before. It was completely out of character for me, yet here I was, ready to jump the gun and do it.

I texted Donnie as I got to the Embassy, wanting him to know everything.

"I'm applying for my visa today. I miss you so much. XX

I didn't expect a reply back, knowing that the time difference was crazy, but as I was sat waiting to be seen my phone vibrated.

"I miss you too Em, and you might be seeing me sooner than you think ;) I love you. X"

I looked at the text wide eyed, not knowing what he meant by seeing me sooner than I thought, but before I could even reply someone called my name, making me shove my phone into my bag and forget the text as I focused on making my next step forward.

[/Emmileigh]

[Karsyn]

"Karsyn!" I heard Emmileigh yell out as I walked out of her extra bedroom, seeing her walk in with a pizza in her hand. "I got pizza."

"Thank God, I'm starving," I sighed as she tossed it on the coffee table in front of the sofa and handed me a soda that she got from the store. "How did the visa stuff go?"

"I got some paperwork I have to fill out and take back tomorrow," she said as she opened up her soda, sitting down on the sofa next to me. "Did you know there's over 60 types of visas for the U.S.?"

"Hell no, that's crazy," I sighed, opening up the pizza box and grabbed a slice of pizza. "Everything else go okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just really tired," she said as I smiled. "I guess you are too with the way you've been sleeping."

"Who knew we were so tired?" I asked as she smiled. "I think I'd rather just stay here and not even go home, but if I did, Nick would probably get pissed."

"You're only going for a few days and then you don't have to go back except for holidays and stuff," Emmileigh said as I nodded, finishing up my piece of pizza. "Nervous about him meeting your family?"

"Yeah."

"Does he know?" she asked as I turned my head to look at her. I shook my head and took a sip of my soda. "Maybe you should tell him."

"I'm not so much nervous about that as to how they react to him," I said as she nodded. "Do you think he'll figure it out?"

"I don't know, Karsyn," she said as I leaned back on the sofa. "You're going to be there for a few days. Maybe tell him afterwards. I mean, where are you guys staying?"

"At a hotel not far from my parents," I said as she nodded. "I booked the room the other day. I don't know, I mean. Should I tell him?"

"You saw how he freaked out, so I'm thinking you should," Emmileigh said as I sighed, standing up from the sofa. "Karsyn, don't get mad at me for bringing it up. I know we barely talk about it," she said as I walked around the sofa and over to the extra bedroom that I was sleeping in. "You know keeping secrets always backfires and if you want what you have with Nick to last..."

"It hasn't backfired yet, Emmi," I said as she nodded. "Thanks for the pizza. I think I'm just going to go lay back down." I said as I turned to walk into the room and shut the door behind me.

[/Karsyn]

[Emmileigh]

"So, what did you mean about seeing me sooner?" I was curled up on the couch, the TV on low as Donnie had rang me. I answered excitedly and we did the whole "I miss you" thing before talking about each other's day. I'd told Donnie about the masses of forms I had to fill out, and he'd filled me in on the pranks of the last show.

"Nothing."

I could hear the teasing tone in his voice.

"Donnieee!" I whined. "Tell me!"

"Nope. I have no idea what you're talking about."

I pouted, even though he couldn't see me. "I don't like secrets," I said quietly.

"It's not a secret. It's... a... surprise.. maybe." Donnie chuckled, making me smile.

"You suck."

Donnie laughed. "So do you, very well as I remember."

I groaned and turned my head when I heard Karsyn's muffled voice talking from her room. "Is Karsyn talking to Nick?"

"I don't know, I'm in my hotel room. It's like 3 a.m. here. I'd say probably though, he is like a lost puppy without her here."

"Aww." I smiled softly. "And how are you without me there?"

Donnie was quiet for a moment before I heard him sigh softly. "I feel like a part of me is missing."

I closed my eyes. "I know that feeling all too well. And it's 3 a.m. there? I should let you sleep baby. I forgot the time difference was ahead, not behind."

"I don't need sleep; I need to hear your voice."

I felt tears sting my eyes as I smiled. "As cute as that is... you need your sleep. Trust me. Go to sleep, dream of me.. and call me when you wake up in the morning."

"But then you'll be asleep. I don't want to wake you." He sounded so concerned it made my heart hurt.

"You can wake me whenever. I love you."

"I love you too. Night baby."

"Night.." I said softly and listened for the sound of the call cutting before putting my phone down on my lap.

I missed him. A LOT.


[/Emmileigh]

[Karsyn]

I laid on the bed, staring at the picture of me and Nick that we had taken while we were exploring Sydney. I felt sick because of how much I missed him. I wasn't one to cry over a guy and miss a guy. When Tony ignored me, I was pissed off, I didn't cry over it.

But I wanted to cry because of how much I missed Nick.

I looked at the time, seeing that it was nearly midnight and knew that it was early evening in North Carolina. There was only a five hour time difference.

I hit my mother's name on my contact list and held the phone up to my ear, listening to it ring.

"Karsyn, honey, are you on your way home?" I heard my mother ask, answering the phone.

"No, I leave tomorrow," I said as I sat up on the bed, my knees up in the air and against my chest. "I'm... I'm kind of nervous."

"I promise I'll be on my best behavior in front of Nick," she said as I smiled. "Your sister thinks he knows Justin Bieber, so you're gonna have to explain that to her..."

"He might, I don't know," I sighed. "Should I tell him?"

"Tell him what?"

"You know..."

"I guess it depends on how serious you are with him," she said as I laid back on the bed, closing my eyes. "Do you trust him?"

"Yes," I whispered.

"Then do what you feel like you need to do," my mother said as I sighed again. "We won't say a thing. I won't say anything."

"Okay, I'll call you when I land." I said, telling her goodbye before ending the call. I laid the phone down beside me and started crying. I couldn't stop the tears. I sat up, wiping my eyes when I heard a knock at the door.

"You okay?" Emmileigh asked as I shook my head. She walked in, sitting down on the edge of the bed and handed me a beer. "I figured you might need this."

"I kind of do," I smiled weakly, taking a big sip. "I talked to my Mom."

"I heard you talking to someone and figured it wasn't Nick," she said as I nodded. "What did she say?"

"Said that it depends on how serious I am about him, and if I trust him," I said as she nodded.

"It's just... I'm afraid he's going to think I was keeping it from him," I said as she looked at me. "I guess in a way I have, but..."

"Karsyn..."

"After the talks we've had, how do I tell Nick that my little sister isn't really my little sister?" I asked as she stared at me. "Only like five people know and when I told Nick I had a pregnancy scare and that's why I got the IUD, I still didn't think that this was real. You know, me and him.""

"She is your little sister." Emmileigh said as I looked down at my hands. "He knows you don't want kids. He knows what an ass Tony was to you. You aren't raising her. You aren't a mother to her. You're just her big sister and he'll see that."

"You think?" I asked as Emmileigh nodded. "It's just, it never even phased me until he spoke on the phone with my Mom and asked me why I never told him I had a little sister."

"Nick loves you, I can tell that. Donnie says he's miserable without you there," she said as I smiled weakly. "She's not your daughter. She's your little sister and Nick will see that."

[/Karsyn]