Emerald Green Eyes

Chapter 1

I would really appreciate any comments/votes - this my first story on watt pad :) ENJOY xxxx

Chapter 1

When you look at death no matter how long you have been able to prepare for it, it still hurts. My mother has been fighting cancer for 4 years now and we are in the final stages, the doctors have given her a couple of weeks tops, it could be days. I held her hand as she slept, she sleeps more these days, it is partially the medication, and it's also exhaustion from fighting a disease that holds no mercy. Her eye lids flutter open and she smiles at me, her eyes no longer the bright blue they use to be but more a dull grey now, the dark patches prominent underneath showing the depth of her tiredness, her skin translucent, but she was still my mum and I loved her, when I saw her like this my heart would miss a beat as I willed her to live!

"Cass," she whispered, "we have to talk, I don't have long!"

"Mum rest, conserve your energy, we have a lifetime, I'm not letting you go," I replied.

A small weak smile curved over her lips, "So much I need to tell you, please don't hate me!"

I looked at her, "Mum how could I ever possibly hate you? It has been me and you against the world for almost 18 years, I love you!"

She handed me an envelope " I wrote this just after I found out I was pregnant with you, I wasn't sure when to give it to you, I wanted to so many times, please read it, please understand!"

My hands shook as I opened the letter, I could see tears forming in her eyes, what could possibly be so bad that she was worried, I took out the pages and slowly opening them not losing eye contact with her, "Mum it will be fine, I promise you!"

My Dearest Cass,

I am writing this letter to you and you haven't even been born, I have just had my 20 week scan and have found out you are a girl, already I feel that bond with you, that love that I know will keep me going through the next few years, I have decided to call you Cassandra, Cass for short, after my mother.

I need to tell you a bit about your dad, I loved him Cass so much, it hurt leaving him, but he found his soul mate and for the first time in my life I did something for someone else rather than myself, I left so he could be happy. He didn't want me to, he said it would be OK, but I knew his future job meant he needed his soul mate. He was the kindest person I knew, he made me laugh, he was a good person.

I found out a week after I left I was carrying you, so I knew I would always have a part of him with me, Cass I am so sorry I didn't intend to tell you about him until you were almost 18, because at that point I know you will need him, but I will let him explain that nearer the time.

Cass please don't hate me for not telling you about your father, please understand I was worried that if you tried to find him him he would and try and take you away from me, and you are all I have left of him, so I will let him see you but not till you are almost 18, does that make me selfish?

I will spend my life trying to make up for you not knowing your father, I will try and love you twice as much, make you laugh twice as much, hug you twice as much, at some point when you are reading this in the future, I hope you can tell me I succeeded.

My deares,t darling Cass I love you

Mum xxxx

I looked at her, "I have a dad? I thought he was dead!"

"I thought it would be easier for you if you thought that, I am so sorry Cass, I was so selfish I wanted you with me!" Tears poured down her face, I hugged her.

"It's OK mum, I love you, I'm not sure I fully understand but I still love you!"

She looked at me, holding tightly onto my hand, "There is more Cass, I wrote him a letter, I told him all about you, I asked him to come for you!"

"I'm not going anywhere, not without you mum," my mind whirled in amass of confusion, "I want to spend the time with you."

"Cass, I'm not letting you go just yet, I just need to know that when I am gone, someone will look out for you!"

I sighed, nodded, "Mum, I am almost 18, soon I will be able to look after myself, I have our little house. When do you think he will come?"

She smiled again, " I know you will be fine, but you are almost 18 and I need you to be with your father for your 18th birthday, Cass please he will make you understand when he comes, please listen to him, please spend time with, promise me Cass," she looked at me waiting for an answer.

I bowed my head, "I promise mum!"

"Knowing your father, he will be here as soon as he can; he will want to see you Cass."

It was late; my head was throbbing from all the information .... I have a father? I needed to go home; I kissed her gently, held her hand and watched as she drifted off to sleep. I picked up my bag, and headed home to our little terrace in Twickenham.

I flung my bag down in the hallway, and headed to the kitchen, the house was cold, the fridge was almost empty, I needed to do some shopping, I needed to pay some bills, I needed to do so much, at least I had finished my 'A' levels, all I had time now was time and not enough of it with the person I loved. I ate, watched a bit of television and dragged myself upstairs to bed, and slept.