Bts sickfics (cause there really aren't enough)- REQUESTS CLOSED

Jin- panic attack

Wow would you look at that I don't have anything to say. Let's just get into it. if it wasn't already obvious, be careful if you get triggered by panic attacks and stuff. Ok cool cool.

🔴JINS POV🔴

I'll be honest with you. For a while, I always felt like the underdog of bts. The others are so talented; they can sing, rap, dance. I'm not as good as them at those things. For a while I felt like I was just there to be a pretty face. I've definitely improved over the years, and now I'm finally starting to be at the same level as the rest of them.

Now that I'm finally at the same level as them, I wanted to try my own project. I've done solo covers before, but I've never written my own song. I've decided I want to write my own song for festa this year. It'll be a nice surprise for army. I know they'll love it. I've already had a few meetings with producers, starting to create a melody. As much as I'd love to be able to do it all by myself, I don't think that would really be possible, but even though the producers are helping, I'm still writing most of the melody, just with their guidance. It sounds really good so far.

Now that the melody is done, all that's left is the lyrics, and recording. I know what I want the lyrics to be about. I want to write it about jjangu and eomuk, and odengi. I feel like I still haven't processed those losses. Maybe writing a song about it will help me process it. Unfortunately I've never written lyrics so I'll have to ask Namjoon for help, but I still want to try and do it all myself.

—————

When I woke up this morning, I immediately noticed a dull ache behind my eyes. But with the amount of work we do, it's not rare to have a small headache. I just think of it as nothing and take some painkillers. I head to the studio and go to the office to start on writing.

My head pounds even more as i wrack my brains for the right lyrics, but i can't think of anything. All I can think about is this ravaging headache. The painkillers i took did nothing to ease it, and it pounds, throbbing with pain. I've never had a headache like it. Could it even be considered a headache? or is it a migraine? I can't work like this. It hurts too much.

I'm not good with pain at the best of times. I've danced through a sprained ankle before, but it was hard, and took so much physical effort to hold back my flinches. This headache is too painful. I can't handle it. And i can't even take more painkillers for an hour or so. I don't like to be a crybaby, but there are tears building in my eyes as this headache, no... migraine, pounds behind my eyes with a ravaging pain i have never felt before. I can barely open my eyes, and the lights feel too bright, the computer screen in front of me is too bright. I can't handle it. I can't handle it.

I hear someone come into the office, and look up to see namjoon.

"Have you got anything yet hyung?" He says, looking at the screen over my shoulder. His voice hurts my head even more. It takes him a while, but he eventually realises im not ok.

"Oh! Hyung, whats up?" He says, a little softer, looking into my teary eyes.

"h-headache... migraine..." I say softly, the lump at the back of my throat building.

"Hey hey hey its ok, have you taken any painkillers?" Namjoon asks, brushing my hair back soothingly. I nod my head.

"They didn't work." I can't hold back anymore, and i feel tears starting to roll down my cheeks.

"Oh hyung im sorry, its ok. Maybe we can get you home." Namjoon suggests. While i don't want to go home and get behind on work, laying in my own bed in the dark sounds great right now. I nod slowly.

"Ok, i'll go talk to our manager, hang tight." Namjoon says, heading out the door. Before he leaves he stops at the doorway.

"You want me to turn the lights down?" I immediately nod, and he dims the lights down. Thank god for dimmer switches. What feels like two seconds later im interrupted again with our manager assessing the situation.