Bts sickfics (cause there really aren't enough)- REQUESTS CLOSED

Yoongi- autism

Ok. I've considered this for a while, and I wasn't sure whether it was a good idea or not, so I've just decided to do it anyway. If you think I should take this down, please let me know and I will. I also want to preface that by having this chapter in a sickfics book I am by no means suggesting autism is an illness that should be treated. Autistic individuals are all wonderful people who deserve just as much respect as anyone else and should be accepted for their autism, not forced to try and change it. I am not autistic myself (that we know of anyway 👀) but I have friends with autism and have done a lot of research on it before. I will do my best to represent it accurately, but if I get things wrong in places I am sorry. But it should also be mentioned that autism comes in many different forms, and every autistic person is different in the way they deal with the signs/criteria(of autism), which aspects are more prominent etc. So it is pretty impossible to accurately represent autism for everyone, cause everyone's different, but I will do my best.
I also want to mention, I am writing this for April, which is autism awareness/acceptance month. Just incase you didn't know. I also literally just found out it's autism awareness day today (2nd of April) so Yay! 
Ok, now that the disclaimer is over, let's get on with the chapter.

Yoongi was diagnosed with autism when he was 5. It was a little late of a diagnosis, but at the time the only signs were his lack of eye contact, and the fact that he didn't say his first word until he was about 3. At the time his parents felt ashamed of his diagnosis. They didn't know what to do, how to care for an autistic child. They worried for his future. It took a while for them to learn how to care for him, but once they learnt, they felt a little more secure.

When he gained a special interest in music, they worried even more. Before long he'd be wanting a career in music, and his parents definitely didn't want that. The music industry is hard to get into as it is. And even when you do, it never pays well, unless you make it big. So when Yoongi gave up everything to stay in Seoul and make music, his parents were extremely worried. They were ready for him to come running back to them needing money and a home. But that didn't happen. He got lucky.

Now here he was several years later, part of the biggest boyband in the world.

He was sat in his studio, producing a new track for the upcoming album. He'd seen the fans on twitter all excited for the new album, and Yoongi was excited too, but he was also nervous. Very. He had a lot of deadlines coming up that he was struggling to keep up with. He played the track through his computer and let out a frustrated sigh. It didn't sound good at all. His chest got tighter. Suddenly the music blaring from the computer got louder and louder until his ears started hurting. The buzzing of the lights in the room, the sound of the fan in his computer, all those sounds were all coming in at once, merging into one big sound, that was incredibly loud. He clamped his hands over his ears, and started rocking back and forth involuntarily. His heart was beating at 1000 miles an hour, as he tried so hard to cling onto the last bit of reality he had left. He just wanted to escape, what from, he didn't really know. The stress had gotten too much; he was going into sensory overload.

Namjoon came into his studio, originally just to see how the song was coming along, only to see him rocking back and forth. His heart skipped a beat and he practically dashed over and paused the song playing on the computer and crouched down in front of Yoongi.
"Yoongi. Yoongi, listen to me." Namjoon says, trying to get his attention. Yoongi pulled his hands away from his ears after hearing the music stop and continued to rock. He continued to stim, shaking his hands rather violently, occasionally clapping. Even though the music had stopped, every other sound, sight, sensation around him just felt like too much. At least by stimming he could help to regulate this feeling somewhat. However, he could still barely comprehend what Namjoon was saying, and to him it now just sounded like a jumble of sounds. It felt like all the sounds he could hear were moulded into one big sound. Everything he could see was too bright. Every little touch felt painful. It was all too overwhelming.
That feeling was horrible. It's felt so intensely uncomfortable that he couldn't help but let multiple tears slip out as his chest tightened even more.
"You're ok, just take some deep breaths ok?" Namjoon spoke clearly with a low tone, being careful not to touch him or get too close. Yoongi tried to take in deep breaths, but the sobs took over instead. An intense mix of frustration, discomfort, and overwhelming sensations was all he could feel. It wasn't fun at all.
Namjoon noticed a stress ball on Yoongis desk and handed to him. Yoongi eagerly took it and started squeezing it and fiddling with it. Just the feeling of squeezing the stress ball felt relaxing to him, and brought a strange sense of comfort, almost like a distraction from the overwhelming feeling. It was thanks to that, that Yoongi managed to finally in a deep breath in and out.
"Do you wanna go for a walk?" Yoongi nods, and stands up, still fiddling with the stress ball. He just wanted to get out of the confines of his studio, away from the overwhelming sensory input. He kept his head down as he walked through the corridors with Namjoon. He definitely didn't want to end up making eye contact with anyone right now, and the consistent pattern and colour of the floor helped calm him down. He hummed to himself, occasionally shaking or flapping his hands as a way to block out the stress that was threatening to take over. Namjoon walked alongside him, keeping a close eye on him to make sure he's ok. Hoseok walked past, and was about to stop, but he knew Namjoon had control over the situation. After all, it wasn't that rare of an occurrence to see Yoongi walking through the corridors alone after just needing an escape. It was a relief that at least this time he had someone with him.