Bts sickfics (cause there really aren't enough)- REQUESTS CLOSED

Jungkook- fear of sleep

I know i said id try and spread out which members I do, in which case I would be writing about Jin, but I had this idea recently based on my own struggles, and I feel like jungkook fits this the best (out of all the members I haven't written about in a short while), so let's just go with it!

Jungkook looks sweet and happy on the outside. But the truth was... He had a little problem.

He had never been a good sleeper. As a baby he would never sleep through the night, and that continued on as he grew up. It went from just not being able to sleep well, to fearing closing his eyes at night. Of course it's normal as a kid to be scared of the dark or the monsters under the bed, but when it continues on way into adulthood, it can be a little embarrassing.

Moving to seoul to live on his own away from his parents at only 13 years old, was a bold move. Its safe to say he spent a lot of nights just sat up in his bed scrolling through his phone, not getting any sleep. Which of course wasn't healthy, and made his trainee years very difficult to get through. However it also taught him how to deal with it somewhat, and eventually he started to get some better sleep.

He went through phases of good sleep and bad sleep, but these days, for the most part, he was sleeping well.

However recently, he'd gotten into bad habits, that meant he stayed up late, playing games or something on his computer, meaning he would be the last one asleep. This just spelt trouble for Jungkook. He had some internal rules about his sleeping conditions.
• he mustn't be the last one asleep.
• he can't sleep with his back to the door unless others are awake
• and he can't leave his room if others aren't awake. No matter how desperately he needs to pee.
If he didn't stick to these rules, he just knew there's no way he'd sleep well, and they just elevated his fears. What he was scared of exactly, well, he wasn't exactly sure anymore.

On this one particular night, he ended up staying up til the early hours of the morning playing games by accident. The moment he saw the time he felt his heart sink. Everyone was definitely asleep by now. He wouldn't dare check either way. He couldn't leave his room unless he was sure. So he run a hand through his hair, biting his lip. He glanced at his phone, for no reason in particular. His body was telling him to get up and get ready for bed, but he stayed frozen still. After all, if there was zero chance of him sleeping at all tonight, what was the point in even trying. He sat twiddling his thumbs for a bit, not really sure what to do with himself. It didn't take long for his bladder to swell, begging to be emptied, but he didn't dare leave his room. But he had to. If he didn't go soon, he'd wet himself, which is way too embarrassing as a 22 year old to even think of doing that. He'd have to leave his room. He'd have to leave his room and walk down the long, dark corridor to the bathroom. His heart started racing at the thought, and the fear only made the pressure in his bladder moreso. What's worse, he'd never told any of his hyungs about his fear. It was too embarrassing. So it remained a long kept secret. This also meant he couldn't text one of them to get them to wake up or anything. He couldn't think of a good enough excuse for that right now as his mind was too clouded from the thoughts screaming DONT. LEAVE. YOUR. ROOM. They were too loud. His mind flashed with thoughts of opening his door to a murderer standing there waiting to kill him, or a creature or monster standing at the end of the dark hallway ready to pounce. The thoughts were so stupid, of course those things would never happen, but he couldn't get those thoughts to go away no matter how hard he tried, and there was no way he could ignore them. They were too loud. His heart was beating out of his chest as he stared at the door handle, imagining every possible scenario of what could happen to him if he opened that door, and none of them were good. So he stayed frozen to his chair, his bladder getting ever tighter.

It got to a point where he would wet himself any minute now if he didn't go to the bathroom, but his heart was pounding out of his chest, just from standing up. He swore others could probably hear his heart beat from a mile away with how loud it was beating. He gripped onto the handle for dear life, trying to keep his breathing even. After all, if something really was behind that door, heavy breathing would just give him away. He gripped his phone in his other hand, flashlight already turned on to drown out the darkness of the hallway, and get rid of any shadow demons or creatures that may be lurking there. He carefully turned the door handle, and slipped the door open, his heart sinking with relief when he found that there was no serial killer hiding behind it.