Hamilton Stories Ft. Plot Generator

Philip and John - The Troll Hunters of New York City

A Smelly Troll Plot by Alexander Hamilton

Philip Hamilton is just an ordinary nine-year-old boy living in New York City, until he sees a horrifying troll, called Aaron Burr, climb in through his bedroom window.

Aaron, who is built like a potato filled with rocks and smells like grated dustbins smothered with sauce made from earwax, sings a song about making little boys into pasties.

Philip tricks the troll into falling out of his window by telling him that there are child-brain pizzas outside. He realises that the troll has to be stopped before he eats any more children and sets to work trying to invent a trap.

Meanwhile, in a cave just outside New York City, John Laurens starts to suspect that eating children is wrong, and grows tired of hunting with his fellow trolls. He decides to live as a vegetarian.

After a brief misunderstanding involving an eyelash and lashings of ketchup, Philip and John team up to stop the trolls, using a catapult that fires cabbages. They lure the trolls by creating a big mound of rotton turnips.

Auto Praise for Philip and John - The Troll Hunters of New York City

"I can smell Aaron Burr from here!"- Zob Gloop

"What a terrifying tale. I hope a troll never climbs in through my window. I don't think I've got any cabbages."- The Daily Tale

"About as frightening as a very small mouse standing on a tiny pillow, but it does warm my heart to read about children and trolls working together."- Enid Kibbler"Grated dustbins? Yuck!"- Hit the Spoof