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The Tale of My Short Secretary Of The Treasury Lover (song)

A Ballad By John Laurens

It began on a married winter's afternoon:
I was the most amusing soldier around,
He was the most short secretary of the treasury.

He was my lover,
My short lover,
My secretary of the treasury.

We used to laugh so well together,
Back then.
We wanted to leap together, around the world,
We wanted it all.

But one afternoon, one married afternoon,
We decided to leap too much.
Together we licked a turtle.
It was lonely, so lonely.

From that moment our relationship changed.
He grew so sexy.

And then it happened:

Oh no! Oh no!

He shot Charles Lee.
Alas, Charles Lee!
My lover shot Charles Lee.
It was little, so little.

The next day I thought my nose had broken,
I thought my mind had burst into flames,
(But I was actually overreacting a little.)

But still, he is in my thoughts.
I think about how it all changed that afternoon,
That married winter's afternoon.

My mind... ouch!
When I think of that short secretary of the treasury,
That short secretary of the treasury and me.

(I have no idea what just happened...)