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Two Thoughtful Uncles Singing to the Beat

A Short Story by Thomas Jefferson

James Madison was thinking about Thomas Jefferson again. Thomas was an articulate caterpillar with moist thighs and charming eyes.

James walked over to the window and reflected on his chilly surroundings. He had always loved pretty New York City with its pretty, plain parks. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel fuzzy.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the an articulate figure of Thomas Jefferson.

James gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a daring, intelligent, wine drinker with curvaceous thighs and beautiful eyes. His friends saw him as a long, leaking lover. Once, he had even helped a steamed injured bird cross the road.

But not even a daring person who had once helped a steamed injured bird cross the road, was prepared for what Thomas had in store today.

The snow flurried like cooking goldfish, making James delighted. James grabbed a magic cane that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.

As James stepped outside and Thomas came closer, he could see the aggressive glint in his eye.

"Look James," growled Thomas, with a modest glare that reminded James of articulate horses. "It's not that I don't love you, but I want macaroni and cheese. You owe me 9519 dollars."

James looked back, even more delighted and still fingering the magic cane. "Thomas, I love you," he replied.

They looked at each other with confident feelings, like two gleaming, gigantic giraffes thinking at a very arrogant Valentine's meal, which had jazz music playing in the background and two thoughtful uncles singing to the beat.

James regarded Thomas's moist thighs and charming eyes. "I don't have the funds ..." he lied.

Thomas glared. "Do you want me to shove that magic cane where the sun don't shine?"

James promptly remembered his daring and intelligent values. "Actually, I do have the funds," he admitted. He reached into his pockets. "Here's what I owe you."

Thomas looked ecstatic, his wallet blushing like a tender, tan teapot.

Then Thomas came inside for a nice glass of wine.

THE END

ALTERNATE VERSION

James Madison was thinking about Thomas Jefferson again. Thomas was an articulate caterpillar with moist thighs and charming eyes.

James walked over to the window and reflected on his chilly surroundings. He had always loved pretty New York City with its putrid, pickled parks. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel fuzzy.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the an articulate figure of Thomas Jefferson.

James gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a daring, intelligent, wine drinker with curvaceous thighs and beautiful eyes. His friends saw him as a lively, lonely lover. Once, he had even rescued a happy injured bird from a burning building.

But not even a daring person who had once rescued a happy injured bird from a burning building, was prepared for what Thomas had in store today.

The snow flurried like cooking goldfish, making James delighted. James grabbed a magic cane that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.

As James stepped outside and Thomas came closer, he could see the itchy glint in his eye.

Thomas gazed with the affection of 6312 modest homely horses. He said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want macaroni and cheese."

James looked back, even more delighted and still fingering the magic cane. "Thomas, I love you," he replied.

They looked at each other with confident feelings, like two glamorous, graceful giraffes thinking at a very arrogant Valentine's meal, which had jazz music playing in the background and two thoughtful uncles singing to the beat.

James regarded Thomas's moist thighs and charming eyes. "I feel the same way!" revealed James with a delighted grin.

Thomas looked ecstatic, his emotions blushing like a tasteless, thundering teapot.

Then Thomas came inside for a nice glass of wine.

THE END

Auto Praise for Two Thoughtful Uncles Singing to the Beat

"I feel like I know James Madison. In a way, it feels as though I've always known him."- The Daily Tale

"About as enjoyable as being hailed on whilst taking in washing that has been targeted by seagulls with the squits."- Enid Kibbler

"Saying the snow flurried like cooking goldfish is just the kind of literary device that makes this brilliant."- Hit the Spoof"I could do better."- Zob Gloop