Beyond The Broken Glass3: Finally Mended [complete]

32. What He Wouldn't Tell me

It was well into the middle of the night when he came home. The children were fast asleep but I was wide awake only because I anticipated him coming home. What or rather who he came home with was a total surprise though.

"They needed a place to stay."

"Brandon, what did you do?" I asked as Herb and A very ill-looking Kay stood before me. My heart broke because I vaguely remember her normal appearance. But I do know it was far from this. 

A girl far too young to be strung out so badly. She was so thin that it looked like she would blow away with the wind, she had dark purple circles under her eyes and she couldn't even stand on her own feet, her head dangled every which way and her words were all slurred.

"I'll tell you later. Where the kids at?"

"I prefer you tell me now and they're sleeping. I would like them to stay that way." I told him as I folded my arms.

"I wasn't trying to intrude Bri." Herb butted in as he stood in the archway. Honestly, I don't know how to feel about his presence but it did concern me given that we had targets on our backs. He didn't need to be a part of that.

"There's blankets and towels in the linen closet off from the kitchen. There's a let-out couch in the den.  I guess Mimi and Ky can room together until we figure something stable out."

And with that, he took Kay's arm and led her away. I turned back to my soon-to-be husband who had his hand out ready for me to follow him.

He picked up Ky who was snoring loudly and took him to Mimi's room and laid him down beside his sister who was snoring equally loud. When he came into the bedroom I was sitting on the bed ready to hear whatever he had to tell me. He closed the door and went to lean against the dresser.

"I know you mad but I had a good reason for bringing them here."

"And what would that be?"

"She's strung out and he—he was around people he don't need to be around."

"So you lied."

"I had to."

"Why?" I asked as I lowered my eyes at him.

"Because if I told you what I was initially going to Chicago for—you would've stopped me."

"Since when have I ever been able to stop you from doing anything?" I cocked my head to the side as I looked him up and down. Brandon has had his own mind from the very beginning. When he said he was going to do something there was no stopping him, there was no talking him down.

"I've done so much shit wrong in life. I just wanna right them all. I felt like I owed it to her."

"Brandon, what—did—you—do?"

"I met Brooklyn."

My heart sank into my stomach and my world went crashing. It was like I was drifting in and out of reality. My hearing went from clear to muffled. As the tears formed in my eyes. He saw her. He saw my mother and didn't take me to her.

"What do you mean you met her?"

"I tried to give her closure but she just wouldn't take it. So I tried to tell her the truth."

"You told her that I was alive?" I asked as my eyes remained aimed at the floor. My vision became nothing but a blur of colors as my tears pooled in my eyes. "Why would you do that to her? Why would you do that to me?"

"Bri, we've been running long enough. It's not fair the way we did shit."

"It was better that way."

"She don't even believe me."

"Do you ever think before you act?" I asked bluntly as the tears finally escaped. "Do you understand how vulnerable she is? Did you think about her mental state?"

"Brielle, I want you to have normal."

"There is no normal! If anything how we're living now is what it will be. We were supposed to stay hidden."

"No. I'm not doing it any more. I can't keep living in the shadows. I can't keep running and being somebody I'm not. I'm not answering to no other names other than the one I was born with and you shouldn't either. I'm sorry I even allowed that goofy shit."

"Where is this coming from dude? You were the one who insisted that we live this way. You set up these rules for us to live by."

"I had a change of heart. I can't keep putting y'all through this."

"Why did you go see her and not take me?"

"I didn't know how it would go honestly. I didn't think she would agree to come meet me."

"How did she look?"

"Drained."He answered shamefully as he purposely avoid any eye contact. My chest tighten and my anxiety came to torture me. I didn't want to imagine her looking that way. I didn't want a reminder of all the pain I had caused her.

"I thought from here on out everything would be perfect. I thought we hit rock bottom and from here there was no way left to go but up." I mumbled sadly.

"It still is."

"How? We have two extra people to look after now. And one of them is strung out and I take it you expect me to deal with Kay and her drug habit while you run around town with Ralph looking for a man who's been in hiding for all these months?"

"Brielle, when this is over it's gone be so perfect man. Just hold it down like you promised."

"Brandon! I'm scared! I—am—scared!" I screamed as I shot up from the bed. "You just gave our cover away, you brought two people into our shit and potentially added targets to their backs and you want me to be okay with this?"

"It's nothing to be scared of. I may have let you fall a couple times but I ain't never left you on the ground. Ever." He said as he came to wrap me in his arms. He rocked us side to side as he ran his hand up and down my back. But that shit ain't no real comfort.

"I just want to be free," I mumbled as my head lay against his chest. "I want to be free with you. I want to be normal but our safety means so much more."

"And I want that for you. Whatever you want just say the word."

"Let's go out. Let's just walk around a park let's see the world. We've been confined to staying inside of these four walls for way too long Brandon."

"Hmm. I'm not the only one who had a change of heart huh?"

"Taylor just made me realize that there is so much more life to live—we're only in our twenties," I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck now. He pecked my lips repeatedly and squeezed my backside.

"You mad at me?" He asked lowly as he slowly licked his lips.

"I don't have it in me to be mad at you." I sighed as I pecked his neck slowly. "Because I understand why you did it."

"I'm sorry it didn't go the way I planned it. I thought if I gave her some sort of closure she'd be okay but then I felt like I needed to be honest for once in my life."

"Well—that was a large moment of honesty. But I'm proud of you for taking the initiative to help someone else heal."

"I love you and maybe one day she'll understand why we did what we did and be able to cope with all she had to go through."

"I love you too—even though I don't understand you sometimes." I weakly chuckled and squeezed him. "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

"You sure? I can still turn into a psycho."

"Turn? Baby you been crazy." I reminded him softly as I began to trail back towards the bed. I could have thrown a tantrum, cursed him out told him to leave, but instead.

I listened to his side and saw it from his eyes. Do you know what that is? Growth. Besides, I'm proud of him for thinking about others for the first time in life. He tried and is still trying to help people heal. That's a step up from wreaking havoc in his wake. Y'all know what that is? Come on say it with me now. Growth. We're growing and turning into who we should have been all along.