Beyond The Broken Glass3: Finally Mended [complete]

46.)What My Eyes saw...My Ears Heard...My Heart Hurt

Those two words. The ones he was supposed to say standing in front of me in his tux. Instead, he said them while lying in my lap with blood pouring from a whole in his stomach. My eyes stung as the tears continued to fall. I screamed from the back seat at Drew, who held so much composure. I was the opposite. He was dying, in my arms. I was watching the life leave his body.

He repeatedly traced kisses on the palm of my hand and fingertips. My heart was getting ready to rip through my chest. This can't be happening. This can't be life. This can't be our reality, our end. Not before I got to marry him, not before I got to share the rest of my life with him.

"Please stay—please." I cried as his grip on my hand got weaker and weaker. When I came to my senses in the car I rushed to his side but he was already down. I just saw red and I knew I had to do it. I had to kill her. Not for all of the bad blood between us but because it was either him or her. "We love you. We need—you."

I didn't realize I had stopped breathing when his eyes rolled into the back of his head. All of the confusion all of the fear, the grief rushed out of the car. It was still. Quiet and even stale. before I snapped back to reality that's when the sound came,a sound that I couldn't even recognize. My grief. My gut coiling cries.

We were right here. All he had to do was hold on.

"Drew! Drew! He's not breathing! Drew!" I continued on with my outcry as I held him up, his lips brushed my neck and I felt no life. Drew climbed out of the driver's seat, not caring to close his door. His face was etched with insanity as he yanked him out of my arms.

I stayed there, paralyzed with grief, anger, and rage. I couldn't understand his voice as he called out for help. I didn't register when a flood of medical personnel came out of the entrance door. His body passed through arms like he was floating through a tide.

I was unaware of the others who came to my aid.

"Ma'am—ma'am can you hear me?"

I had momentarily forgotten my own appearance. The dry blood on my face from smashing into the dashboard, the fresh blood from Brandon that wet my legs and lower stomach.

"She's in shock." I heard just before arms enclosed around me. I was being removed from the car. Unable to control it, I blacked out once more.

When I came to, there was a bright light being flooded into my eyes. I squeezed them shut as I flinched. I was no longer in my bloody clothes but in a hospital gown. It was so cold as they touched and pressed all over my skin. I don't think I was shot. I was clean now. No more blood or other residue was left on my skin.

"It seems that you've had one hell of a day." A police officer said as he stood by my bedside. His presence made my skin crawl and my head spin.

"Where—where is he?"

"Who might you be referring to?" He asked softly. I knew better than to say his name. Just one tap of his computer thingy and his whole entire life would pop up and that would be trouble for us both. But his past doesn't matter if he's dead. I witnessed it, his eyes rolled back and he stopped breathing. He really left me here by myself. 

I swallowed the grief that lingered in the back of my throat. My tears began to fall again but this time they were inaudible as my mouth hung open. I felt like I was being choked but instead of hands, I was dying of asphyxiation from grief.

A nurse came in, she rushed to my side as she placed her hand on my forehead and tried to soothe me.

"I'm sorry, she's been through a lot of trauma and she needs her rest."

"I just need to ask her a few more questions." He said as he gripped his belt.

"She suffered trauma to the head the doctor is requesting more brain scans, I'm sorry but you'll have to come back later." She said as she pressed the locks on my bed. Another nurse came in and together they started wheeling me out of the room.

I felt so numb, I didn't care to pay attention to any of the signs I didn't care, to observe the nurses, I didn't care about them lifting me from the bed and placing me inside that loud ass machine. They told me to lie still and that was the last thing I heard.

I fell asleep, or that's what it felt like. Like I was asleep like my body had just quit. but I wasn't sleeping. I had just zoned out and went to a dark place. Once again I was brought back to this awful reality when Drew appeared in my line of vision. I don't even remember the scan or when I got back to my room.

He looked like he was unsure of what to do with himself. He didn't know if he wanted to sit down or stand up. So he settled for awkwardly gripping the back of the chair. He opened and closed his mouth as he looked at the small window on the far side of the room.

"I'm so sorry."

Silence.

I had no words left. With watery eyes, he finally sat down in the chair near the bed. Was his heart as broken as mine? We both had lost so much, there is no reason for him to be apologizing to me. He had lost his father and now his brother is probably among him. "I took too long to get to him. I should've taken the shot when I had it. I didn't think—"

"Drew—I don't want to be alone." I croaked as he stood to pace toward the door. I didn't mean be alone as in without company I meant I didn't want to be alone in life. He paused with his back to me. He slowly spun around and came to kiss my forehead.

"You've made my brother a better man and brought life to my wife and for that—I thank you for a hundred times over."  

He left the room and when the door closed the window to my life closed as well. It all evaporated in the air. My wedding, my love, my children, holding his hand, birthing more of his children.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to muster up a vision of us having a happy healthy life, us being married, and having more children while loving on the ones that we already had. A home that was full of love and trust. But I couldn't, instead, against my will,  I envisioned what life would be like without him, us suffering; me yearning for my husband, my children yearning for their father.

There was nothing else I could do.