Beyond The Broken Glass3: Finally Mended [complete]

4.) The Very Small Tiny Things

The night he stormed out I did my best to occupy my loneliness by cleaning every single surface in this house. The children played quietly in their rooms. After two years of us going through this together, you would think he'd understand that every time we have a disagreement wasn't a means for him to run off and leave. It bothered me, it made me feel insecure. I didn't feel safe when he wasn't here and it drove me mad not knowing where he was running to.

I was in the midst of staring out the window trying to imagine what life could be like had our circumstances been different. I would be in college, hanging out daily with friends and living my best overall life. Things became hazy when I thought of what my love life would be like.

I was snatched from my thoughts when I heard a knock at the door. My head snapped towards it and my stomach began to do backflips. I glanced down the hall where their bedrooms were, both doors were open. I grabbed a long knife and placed it in my Waistband as I treaded to the sound of knocking.

When I approached it. I paused and took a deep breath. The peephole was no use. It was covered in dirt and so the person on the other side was just a smudgy figure.

"Who is it?" I asked and waited for a response.

"I'm. Your neighbor. Me and my husband saw you guys moving in—we figured we'd welcome you to the neighborhood.

Now, I could be polite and open the door. Which could potentially put us in danger, or I could leave her standing at the door and go and grab my babies and run out the back door.

"My name is Ellen." She was persistent. Not the type to just go away without prying. I opened the door and she stood there with a plate of cookies covered in plastic wrap. This shit only happens in movies guys but I promise she looked like a typical white woman with a typical family with a typical life.

"I thought you were gonna leave me hanging." She giggled as she looked me up and down.

"I thought about it."

"Oh, these are for you." She said thrusting the plate of cookies at me. "I hope you like chocolate chip."

"Thanks." I put on my best-forced smile.

"Mommy!" Ky called me as he came running from his room, he latched onto my leg and glared at the stranger in front of us.

"Oh, you have a little one?" She cooed and got to his level. She shoved her hand toward him but he completely ignored her as he peeked at me. "You should join our Mommy and me group. It would be fun plus the little one gets to make some friends."

"I don't know. Our schedule is pretty hectic right now."

"Well. If you ever get some free time. I live right up the street. The little green house on the left." She pointed to the needle in the haystack. It was the only dark-colored house on the block. "I didn't get your name."

That's because I didn't give it.

"Phoebe," I said as my mind flashed back to the envelope. She smiled and placed her hand on her chest.

"Oh my goodness my sister's name is Phoebe." She laughed. "I'm sure you'd love each other."

I doubt it.

"Lovely."

"Well, I'll see you around." She stepped away from the door with a wave as she turned on her heels and left.

"Who's that mommy? Your friend."

"A nosy neighbor," I told him as I locked the top and bottom locks. I tossed the plate of cookies in the garbage and grabbed him an apple juice from the fridge.

"Come on let's go see what we can do with your room." I took his hand and grabbed my special box full of art supplies.

"What color?" I asked as I opened the box. He came and analyzed all of his options.

"Dinosaur green." He pointed to the sample can of paint.

"Good choice. Now, which wall should we paint?" I asked as I took out the can and placed it on the floor. The good thing about this house was that all the walls were blank canvases.

We never got to paint whole rooms because we never stayed in any of the houses long enough. So we adopted the one wall rule. We paint one wall of our room any color then add to it as we went. The furtherest we've got is two walls decorated. No matter how atrocious the others thought the color was. Our lives were too hectic to not have the little things that we wanted. I wanted them to have happy memories of the lives we were dragged through.

I popped open the can and we grabbed our brushes. He was trying so hard to not mess up the floor but his brush dripped everywhere.

"Hold on," I told him as I quickly grabbed a tarp from the box and spread it out where we painted. "Go ahead."

He nodded and proceeded to smear the paint all over the wall with no specific strategy in mind. I knew I would end up tweaking it in the end so I didn't worry about it.

"Why green?" I heard him as he entered the room.

"Because my dinosaur is green." He said as he continued to smash the brush against the wall. He looked so content as he dragged and dabbed the brush.

"That was yo inspiration huh?" He slightly chuckled.

"Yeah." He said looking over and smiling at his dad.

"We need to talk." He told me as he lightly tapped me on the back. I sighed seeing as though he wasn't talking to Ky. I admit we did need to talk but I wasn't ready.

"Mimi next." She said sauntering into the room with a pink blanket in her hand. "My room next!"

"Yes, pretty girl." I smiled and booped her nose. I gave her my brush and she began to mimic the way I painted. I dusted off my hands and followed him out of the room. He went into the living room and sat down on the couch that was covered in a freshly cleaned cover.

"We need to lay this all out."

"Yeah, we do." I agreed as I folded my arms. He sighed and placed his elbows on his knees. I rolled my eyes and went to sit beside him.

"Them days that I left," He said as he hung his head. "I went looking for Ralph."

"Why?"

"The reason doesn't matter." He said peeping up at me. "I never had any intentions of abandoning y'all."

"I cried all of those days and nights you were gone." I butted in. "You made me think that you had left us in the dirt."

"I would never."

"Yet you still did."

"I came back."

"But you left without a word." I don't know how he expected me to just move forward from that. He left for three whole days and left without even a goodbye. He didn't call or leave a note. There was nothing. In those days I was sick, Kyson and Milani were losing it and so was I. I thought once again I would have to care for them alone.

"I apologize." He said wrapping his arms around me.

"That's all I ever wanted you to say."

It's the very small tiny things that brought us back together. A sorry was all I ever wanted to hear from him.