The Great Escape

Kabanata 35

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Kabanata 35

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Some people survive and talk about it. Some people survive and refuse to say anything to anyone. Some people survive and go silent after giving hints to people they want to rely on. Some people survive and create—it could be a masterpiece or a plan on how they will get by on the next days of their lives.

No human is exempted from struggles. Everyone deals with their own problems on their own—maybe—little ways. Everyone deals with unimaginable pain in their own way. Some refuse dealing with it with a hope in their hearts that maybe it will eventually make them numb. They ignore it. Totally.

Everyone is entitled to that, without judgment. And I understand why Ephraim chose to keep his mouth shut instead of telling me everything.

Nalaman ko rin sa parehong araw na alam ni Mommy at Psalm ang tunay na kalagayan niya. Aksidente itong nalaman ni Psalm nang hanapin niya si Ephraim matapos namin siyang makita sa ospital. He found out about Ephraim's illness through the doctor he was acquainted with and he told Mom about it.

Nang dapat ay sasabihin na nila ito sa akin, dumating si Nurse Marie at kinausap sila. She told her that Ephraim asked them not to tell me anything about his condition. Na muntik nang gawin ni Nurse Marie noong araw na kinausap niya ako sa garden.

I looked at Nox who was now in my hospital room. Halos dalawang buwan na ang lumipas mula nang huli ko siyang makita. And everytime we see each other, his face was covered with wounds and bruises.

"N-Nox... What's wrong?"

As I ask Nox that question, it made me realize something. When I still had the chance. When he was still a meter away from me. When I can still grab him near... I should've asked him that.

When I had the incessant feeling of wanting to ask him what's going on, I should've done that. I should've asked him what's wrong and what's on his mind. I shouldn't have pursed my lips and just settled looking at him with my eyes, hoping that he would get the message I was trying to convey through my stare.

I should've asked him the questions I want to ask even though I know I won't get any answer.

"What's going on?"

Nox lifted his head to look at me. There were no tears around his eyes but I can see how much he was struggling right now. There were no tears but the pain was very evident.

"I don't know..." Nox's voice was low.

Kaming dalawa lang ang nandito dahil kinailangang umalis ni Mommy dahil aattend siya ng meeting. Si Psalm naman ay may pasok, pati sina Mariette at ang ibang kabanda.

May klase rin si Nox pero tatlong buwan na siyang hindi pumapasok. He dropped out of school saying he doesn't want to study anymore. He engages into fights every now and then. His life became a mess. Kinuwento iyon sa akin ni Mariette noong huling bisita niya.

"I don't exactly know what's going on and that's why it drives me insane," yumuko siya. "What went wrong? Just... why?"

He cussed. I did everything I could to lift my hand and tap his shoulders. Nag-angat siya ng tingin at doon ko na napansin ang pamumuo ng luha sa paligid ng mga mata niya.

It's my first time seeing him like this. I've known Nox as the mood-setter of the band. He was all smiles and laughters whenever he enters my room. Pero ngayon... I'm seeing a different side of him I've never seen before.