The Great Escape

Kabanata 36

Kabanata 36

Complete honesty

The night was silent but my thoughts were so alive. Mom was sleeping soundly on the long couch while I was lying on my hospital bed, eyes wide awake.

Kahit matagal ko nang alam na hindi kami pwede; kahit noon pa man ay alam ko nang hindi mangyayari ang gusto ko... I always find myself wondering where did I go wrong?

Ephraim suddenly changed four months after our unfinished stargazing adventure. He pushed me away as if we never spent years leaning on each other. He totally shut me out like I was never part of his life.

Isang buwan na naman ang lumipas matapos ang pag-uusap namin ni Nox sa parehong kwarto kung nasaan ako ngayon. For some, time seems to fly faster now than how it was years ago. But for me, time moved so slow that every move in its hand was a torture to me.

I would be lying if I'm going to say that I've already moved on from what happened between me and Ephraim. I would be lying if I'm going to say that I am getting better for the passed month. I am not and I don't think I will ever be.

Like what I foresaw—days after we talked, he left a huge scar in my heart. One that would never heal, even after a long time. I guess some scars will never heal, some bruises will be left unattended and some wounds will always bleed.

Pinanood ko ang pag-angat ng araw sa pagsisimula ng panibagong umaga. Ang kaninang itim na langit ay napalitan ng asul at dilaw, hanggang sa maaliwalas na ang kapaligiran. Unti-unti na ring nagising si Mommy at makalipas ang isang oras ay dumating naman si Calumn para bumisita.

"Good morning po, Tita Sarah," nagmano siya kay Mommy. "Good morning, Sera."

"Magandang umaga rin sa 'yo, Calumn," ngumiti si Mommy. "Maiwan ko muna kayo sandali at oorder lang ako ng breakfast sa lobby."

Pinanood naming lumabas ng kwarto si Mommy para bumili ng makakain. Ipinatong niya ang basket ng prutas at isang bouquet ng sunflower sa side table bago naupo sa stool na nasa tabi ng kama ko. I smiled at him and he did the same.

"Hindi ka nakatulog."

I know that what he said wasn't a question. It was a statement but I chose to shake my head.

"I-I did," I mumbled.

Umiling siya at bumuntong-hininga. He stared at me and his expression softened.

Sa nagdaang buwan na madalas akong maiwang mag-isa sa kwartong 'to, Calumn was here almost everyday. He was now on his third year and I know how hectic it was in school right now. Kung sina Mariette nga ay minsan na lang makabisita dahil sa busy schedule. But Calumn... he always try to find time for me.

"C-Calumn..."

"Yes?"

There were bags under his eyes too. Though he has a perfectly fit body and his muscles were on its right places, the exhaustness in his eyes were all I can see right now.

Siguradong stressed na siya sa college life niya at mas lalo pa siyang nahihirapan dahil palagi siyang narito. The hospital was two hours away from his school but here he is, coming over almost every day. Bale sa isang linggo, lima hanggang anim na beses siya kung bumisita.

"I-I appreciate what you've been doing for m-me. I really do. B-But you don't h-have to do that anymore..."

It's enough that it was only me who can't go back to a normal life. It's enough that it was only me who struggles inside this four-cornered hospital room. Hindi kailangan na pati siya, mahirapan na rin sa araw-araw niyang buhay dahil iniisip niya ang kalagayan ko.