What's in a Name?

Otto Baumgarner

Otto Baumgarner- Austrian ancestry; Otto is a quiet and seemingly mild-mannered youth whom Emma Tran encounters and develops unrequited feelings for throughout her time at New York University. She was a college junior at the time and dealing with a fluctuating self-image due to her issues regarding her appearance after some slight weight gain on antidepressants. She approached Otto during a difficult time in her life during which she was struggling with self-acceptance and finding her true identity. Friendless and isolated within the university, she felt misconstrued after being judged for her awkward advances at trying to meet new people and criticized for her bodily imperfections. Emma quickly observed upon experiencing inflammation from her prescribed medications the unfair of advantages given to those whom appeared conventionally attractive. She particularly noticed this when she repeatedly received snide remarks from customers upon working a part-time job at a local Victoria's Secret due to her less than perfect physique. Upon meeting Otto at a Women's Studies course they were both enrolled in during the fall, she instantly developed an attraction to him. He had kindly responded to her online discussion board and the two were coincidentally assigned to a group project together for the class. Emma developed an emotional attachment towards Otto through a series of meaningful conversations during which she discovered felt connected to his past. He identified as a misunderstood loner who was frequently teased for being timid and suffering from congenital hearing loss, a birth defect which he has received several surgeries to correct throughout the years. Having experienced a sense of loneliness herself throughout much of her life with the absence of a true best friend and struggle to find a lasting love, she began to project some of her traits onto him and developed slight feelings for him.

She felt entranced by his bright forest green eyes and developed a fondness for the ruffled maple brown hair that framed his face. Otto similarly had some light freckles splayed across the bridge of his nose and the single dimple that indented his left cheek whenever he smiled. She also felt charmed whenever she Otto spoke, revealing his slight Austrian accent due to having been raised in Duluth, a town in Minnesota by his parents, whom were from Salzburg. Knowing how quickly Emma could fall smitten with her love interests, she was approached curiously by her friend and dormmate Valentina Robledo. She described her as a Christian girl with long dark hair, and her own mother Samantha also told her via webcam to be cautious in terms of her friendship with Otto and not confuse her feelings for something more. With her experience with one-sided attractions and ensuing heartbreak as a young woman throughout her college years, Samantha became increasingly wary. She wisely advised her daughter to preserve her bond with Otto rather than somehow damage it with any kind of misunderstanding. Although taking her mother's words into account, Emma nonetheless continued to secretly fancy Otto and came to consider him her closest confidant as they routinely spent time together in between classes and ate lunch at the university's dining hall. She progressively began to notice that things were not always as one initially assumed regardless, as Otto became increasingly laconic and temperamental during off days and began lashing out on her unexpectedly once Emma sought his company.  As a person whom was dealing with chronic depression, a fact unbeknownst to Emma, Otto had his own share of inner burdens. 

He demanded space to resolve his own emotions, feeling overwhelmed by those he considered overly intrusive and burdened by unnecessary questions. Despite Emma's misinterpreting his actions as rudeness, they nevertheless continued to communicate with one another, with Otto's treating Emma with sensitivity and compassion on his better days. After being invited to a gathering to celebrate Otto's birthday in December on the week before finals with a few close friends, she felt convinced that the occasion would be the perfect opportunity to express her hidden feelings for him. Emma decided to craft a heartfelt birthday card that contained every emotion she'd ever intended to direct at Otto and expressing gratitude for his friendship. As her mother had anticipated however, she experienced disappointment upon seeing his undeniable attraction to another girl at the party. She came to find a pretty girl with dyed red hair and burnt umber eyes named Amber Corrigan whom appeared to have captivated the interest of several additional suitors at the gathering. He then mentioned his love for a band called the Lumineers and an old episode of Parks and Recreation, and he indulged in fruit punch and cheese whiz sandwiches, one of his favorite foods. Despite her attempts to spend quality time with Otto and have him see her in a different light, Emma became dejected once she saw him again. He had been spending most of the evening in Amber's company, acting semi-flirtatiously with her meanwhile ignoring Emma's attention towards him. He would come to leave the party in tears and be comforted by both her mother and Valentina the next day, whom treated her to a "girl's day-in" to ease her mind off things. She became avoidant of him for the remainder of their time together in their Women's Studies course, a behavior that confused an oblivious Otto. 

Otto continued to unintentionally hurt Emma as he held hands with Amber in between classes and gave her a quick kiss, confirming their budding relationship. Once confronted by him, she met his presence with passive-aggression and chose to part ways with him, believing it would be less toxic and hurtful for her to not continue interacting with him. Wishing to still gain closure in her bond with him before cutting off contact, she would impulsively come to send him a long text. The message was intended to convey everything that she was feeling that she would come to regret, believing it would worsen the situation. While she anticipated that she would not get a response from Otto given the content of what she had written, Emma became surprised once she received what appeared to be a long, extensive text. She ultimately realized that because of her phone's limited data plan could never be opened, regardless of her attempts at knowing what he'd replied. Upon telling Valentina what had happened in disappointment, her roommate simply responded with earnest wisdom that her and Otto's story was complete. She also stated that sometimes, there were some stories in existence that simply weren't meant to have a conclusive ending. Taking these words to heart, Emma slowly made peace with her unresolved feelings for Otto and devoted the winter break to reconnecting with her loved ones. She came to suddenly discovering new aspects of herself as she worked part-time at local retail store during the holiday season. Although her story with Otto didn't have a positive resolution, it inspired Emma to work on building herself from within and offered a means of encouragement. She took everything as a means of helping her work on crafting herself into the person she sought to be, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. INFP 6w5