Lullabies in December (Behind The Month #2)

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The man continued holding my arms as I stood up.

Ang matinding hilo ay siyang pumipigil para makakilos ako nang maayos. May mga sinabi pa siya kanina pero naramdaman ko na ang pagpitik sa sentido ko kaya hindi ko na iyon naintindihan pa.

I tried to push him away but he only gave out a huge exhale.

"Please, miss. Hayaan mong tulungan kita."

I held on my forehead as I felt my view swirling a bit. I immediately stopped moving and shrilled out of pain.

"Ah! Fuck!" I held on my head more as everything seemed spinning to me.

"Miss, miss..." sabay hagilap ng lalaki sa aking mukha na para bang natataranta na. "Miss, I'll take you to the hospital..."

"N-No!" I shouted, horrified by the thought that he may not bring me there but to somewhere else.

Tinulak ko siya at sinikapang umabante sa paglakad.

"Miss, please... Gusto ko lang matulungan ka at baka mapa'no ka pa..." sabay rinig ko sa mga lakad nito sa likod ko.

"No! I... I can manage!"

Like the pain I'm feeling isn't enough, the world has given me another one. Humapdi ang aking sikmura kaya't halos bumaluktot ang katawan ko.

"Miss!" the man called like he was alarmed.

Hindi nito mawari kung saan ako hahawakan nang makalapit dahil sa itsura ko. I cried so much upon feeling all these things.

I felt him moving much closer to me and he held my arm again loosely. "I'll bring you-"

"No..." nanghihinang pakiusap ko na. "No, please... Don't do anything wrong to me please. I'm just..."

I cried and looked up to see him. He sighed, looking back at me in sympathy.

I don't have an idea if what he's showing me now is true and that he has no other plans for me.

"Motor lang ang meron ako at iyon lang ang dala ko pero hayaan mong dalhin kita sa ospital." he said, voice turning lower and softer.

I blinked as I felt my stomach hurting more. "I'm... I'm just starving... I don't want to hurt more, please... Huwag mo akong sasaktan."

He stiffened at that. "I won't do anything bad to you. Please let me just help you. Kung gutom ka, ta-"

"Uuwi na ako. U-Uuwi na lang ako," I cut him off.

I looked away and sniffed, shaking his hands off me.

Muli akong sumubok maglakad para makahanap na ng sasakyan pauwi pero pagkatapos humakbang nang ilang beses, halos mamilipit ako ulit sa sakit.

"Pakiusap, miss. Huwag kang matakot at wala akong gagawing masama sa'yo..." the man was once again beside me as he helped my weakling body. "There's a bistro bar that offers good food nearby. I can take you there and so you could finally eat. Iyon lang ang gagawin ko. I'd let you eat in silence and I won't bother you."

Hindi na ako nakasagot kahit gusto kong tumanggi dahil muling umikot ang lahat ng nakikita ko. Hindi ko na alam kung anong dapat kong unahin, ang hapdi sa sikmura, o ang pagkahilo ko. Nangyari na rin ito noon sa akin nang tumagal ang mga oras na wala akong kinakain. The last time I ate was yesterday, at lunch and when night came and I found out that my problem returned to me the second time... I lost my appetite to eat anything.

Hanggang ngayon ay wala pa akong kinain at oras na naman ng hapunan. Umaasa akong sa puntong nagawa ko ng punoin ang aking tiyan, mawawala na ang nararamdaman ko sa katawan kong ito dahil nagsasawa na ako sa sakit. Palagay ko kung parusa man ito ng langit sa'kin... isa itong matagumpay na parusa.