Lullabies in December (Behind The Month #2)

5

5, I'm aware of

I blinked again as some nerves in me turned more alive upon seeing that bag of mine. It's an automatic move for me to walk towards him while he only stayed on his position.

Ang mga kapwa ko estudyanteng nasa second floor din ay hindi ko na muna inabalang tignan pa. Soon as I got in front of him, his eyes looked down before he turned his head sideways a bit, as if trying to figure out if others are observing us.

I swallowed hard as I continued staring at my bag. I'm sure that's it, a gray tote bag with a small graphic design on the middle- when the world can't turn silent, do yourself a favor and cover your ears. Iyon ang pinakamalaking dahilan kung bakit ko ito binili noon.

"How..." halos hindi ako makapaniwala habang nakatingin pa rin doon. "Is that really my bag?"

He moved his feet a bit before handing it to me with no words. I accepted it slowly as I lift my face to see him.

He's really that man. I can't still believe that I'd be seeing him here. His hair is still on its top knot while he clenched his jaw. From staring at me, he then looked away and turned around. He walked away and I was so dumbfounded.

Bumaba ang mga mata ko sa hawak ko ng bag muli. I started feeling nervous as I get inside the room and find a vacant seat. Before, it's a usual thing for me to be quiet as I enter the class and sit somewhere. Of course I had some conversations with my blockmates, especially when we're busy drafting on our tables. Ngayon, nililingon ako halos ng lahat at ang pagbuka ng kanilang bibig ay alam kong ako ang dahilan.

I kept my mouth shut and straight face as I sat at the back. Today, we have no drafting subject so we'll be having some possible lecturing from our profs. Mga armchairs lang din ang gamit namin ngayon sa loob ng lecture room.

I was quick to put my tote bag above the desk and hurriedly tried to ramage its inside. Sobrang bilis ng paghila ko sa zipper, kinakabahan sa mga makikitang laman sa loob.

I am on the verge of crying once again as I took everything out. Ang ibang inilabas ay ipinatong ko sa aking mga hita, ang iba ay nasa munting lamesa. I carelessly put the bag below, still looking on my things. Inuna kong tignan ang wallet ko. A huge relief came to me as I saw that all of my cards and I.d's are here. The other paper bills are also on the same amount as I counted them in silence. Lalo akong pinagtinginan sa nangyayari sa'kin pero wala na talaga akong pakialam.

The next one I opened was my phone and it's not different from how it looked like before it got lost as well. Kumpleto rin ang mga projects kong nasa bag ko rin noon. I closed my eyes and a tear rolled down on my cheek.

Tumulo pa ang ilang luha habang ibinabalik ko sa loob ng tote bag ko ang mga gamit. I was already sitting in a proper way and both of my bags are in front of me, when I realized that I still need to go to the bank to make sure na hindi nagalaw ang pera ko roon.

Did he really find my bag last night? I sighed so hard and held on my forehead, wondering how long it took him to find it. Imposible namang nasa kanya na iyon noong umpisa pa lang na hindi ko pa alam na nawawala nga iyon. Besides, he doesn't look like a snatcher, and yes... I know I have a poor judgement so I don't know what else to think.

Minutes came passing by and all I did was to sit like a person who can't speak. I would only sigh while feeling the stares my block mates, and even my profs are giving me. Hindi siguro inaasahan nino man na papasok pa ako sa kabila ng paglabas ng scandalous video ko. Baka naman may nag-isip din dito na nagpakamatay na nga ako?

"Thanks..." doon pa lang ako nagsalita at sobrang hina pa nang ipasa sa'kin ng nasa harap ko ang mga papel.

Malayo ang upuan ko sa mga kalapit na kaklase at ako mismo ang umusog ng akin. Kung ano man ang isipin nila, bahala sila. Masasaktan ako sa mga pangit na salitang sasabihin nila sa 'kin pero hindi na nila kailangan pang makita iyon. That would only give them more power to hurt me further.