Angel's Diary

August 25, 2014

Dear Diary,

I don't get why we had to leave? I was fine back in England, with my friends, my life. I was happy. Even after the incident. I'm not letting one shitty event ruin my life. God, I keep on telling them that I'm fine but come to think of it, I guess I just wanted to convince myself that I was okay when in reality I wasn't. Maybe Leeds wasn't the best environment for me. Maybe I wasn't really happy there and maybe I'm not okay.

Screw it, I'm not okay. I'm devastated. I'm disgusted. I'm pissed. I want to scream out all of this anger inside me. I want to forget about all of this. I want to cry but for some reason, I can't. People pity me and they give me those looks in their eyes and I'm sick of it. Yeah, what happened to me was shit but I don't want their sorrow. What's the point of saying "I'm sorry" when it already happened. They don't know what it's like, they don't understand. no one will.

I guess I wasn't really happy in England. I'm happy that me and my family are moving to Canada. I'm done with this life. I'm freaking done. I want a restart. I need it. this is my chance to forget about the past. I don't want to stay in the dark. Writing this I've realized that I haven't truly smiled in a few days. I've been in and out of therapy and yesterday, that jerk that I used to know and I thought I knew finally was sent to juvie. I am so glad that I don't have to see that animal's face again. Jack is just one of those mistakes that I have to remove from my mind. I can't believe I fell in love with him. I can't believe I let him control my whole life. How come I've been so blind? screw him. He's not worth my time. I need to find my happiness again and show him that he can never hurt me ever again, that no one will. I'll make sure of that.