two life

eighteen

i hate when you got stuck in a situation where you have to pick between two people. it was good at first, i am loyal, i have a boyfriend, i love him and planning on to marry him. but then, everything change, when the biggest asshole in my life becomes my love interest. no, i mean i thought i hate him, but every time i saw him, i know that he's the right man.  

i know that it was kinda messed up, and if you ask, i can't even think straight right now. the fact that i have boyfriend, and he has a boyfriend makes it sound like im a bastard that cheat on my relationship. i know that i shouldn't have developed a feeling towards him, but you know what, it was so sudden as if he plants a sakura trees inside my winter life. as if, he brought a trampoline inside my heart and suddenly jump up and down on it. he's making my heart a mess. 

and to make it worse, i thought he's an asshole, but after getting close to him, turns out he is just a cinnamon roll. then, was it me the asshole one? or was it myself that calls him an asshole because i couldn't accept the fact that i am the biggest asshole? dang, whatever the answer is, i don't think i could handle it.

everything is so fuck up, ugh. fine, let me just finish buying this grocery and go back home early.

and i thought nothing could get worse than having no food in the middle of the night until--

"boss?", i asks, he is wearing a black hoodie and obviously checking on food on the shelf.

"huh?", he turns around and says, "seungri?"

"boss why are you here?", i asks.

"oh.. i want to eat some ramen", he says, while scratching his neck.

"doesn't it far from your place?", i asks, starting to wonder why the fuck is this man here, i mean it takes 20 minutes for him to drive here.

"the ramen taste good", he says, grabbing a pack of ramen and shows me.

"huh?", i asks, "but you drive 20 minutes just to get here, and in the middle of the night", i says, he looks at me and smiles.

"i love this ramen", he says and smiles, while holding 2 packets of ramen. 

okay whatever, let just finish buying the food and go home. let's pretend that nothing happens.

"seungri...?", he calls, i turn around and he's smiling. dang, what a view.

okay, i hate this, but i am trying to resist myself from doing something that i will regret.

"do you by any chance...", he says. okay come on seungri, don't say it, don't say it.

"boss, do you want to eat ramen at my place?", i blurts. fuck it, i can't even control my mouth.

"w-what?", he blushes, "y-yes", he says and nods frantically. a cutie isn't it.

okay, you tell me, why the fuck are we here, i mean him, why is the boss eating ramen at my place, and to make it worse why am i sitting beside him while holding a cup of ramen. oh, right, i am the one who invited him.

"so...", i says.

"huh?", he asks, he looks at me, his hair flows and dang he shoots a bullet right through my heart.

"d-d-do you want some soju?", i asks, already holding a bottle of soju.

"sure", he says, taking that bottle from my hand.

"b-but..", before i finish my words, he already drinks from that bottle.

"nevermind", i says, he looks at me and tilts his head.

wait a minute, that's an indirect kiss. dang, even my own boyfriend never go to my place, and he's already been here twice. and indirect kiss, i haven't kiss ji but this asshole already had an indirect kiss with me. fuck, i already am cheating right now.

i keep drinking after knowing the fact that im cheating with someone unexpected. and not to mention, that i fall for him during an unexpected time.

"seungri..?", he calls, my head is spinning maybe i drink too much.

"huh?", i says, all of sudden there's hundred of him in front of me. 

"there is a lot of you...", i says and grab his face.

"why are you so many", i mumble, "no..no..no..why are you so cute", i says, pinching his cheek.

"am i?", he blushed, "y-yes..", i nods nonchalantly.

"i have a boyfriend...", i says, he looks at me and tilt his head, "you...have a boyfriend too", i blurts.

he looks at me, i cupped his cheek and says, "but why do i start falling for you..."

"y---you like me??", he asks.

"i like you....no..i love you", i blurts.

"you are not drunk right?"

"i-----i----i---am seungri not drunk", i blurts.

"cute...", i look at him and says, "but you have a boyfriend...i am sad".

"...you are so cute seungri", i look at him and start slapping his cheek.

"ouch..", he says, "you are so cute..", i says while slapping his cheek.

"can you....sing me a song?", i blurts, he holds my hand and start singing.

"just a little bit of your heart...", he looks at me, "just a little bit of your heart is all i want..", he sang.

and then i fall asleep, and can't remember anything.

"seungri if only you know i am your boyfriend,  how will you react to it?"

"i love you seungri.."

"good night".

Just a little bit of your heart - Ariana Grande/ Harry Styles.