He Broke Me First

Chapter 19

Hindi ko alam kung paano ang pakiramdam ng maloko at ayoko nang malaman pa.

My father cheated on my mother or should I say on our family. Disappointment and betrayal were the only things that I felt. He should be the one protecting us but what did he do? Siya pa ang nanakit sa amin.

I was trying hard to stop myself from holding grudges, he's still my father. Ayokong manghusga dahil hindi ko naman alam ang buong nangyari, pero hindi ko lang talaga mapigilan. He didn't deny it, in fact he was sorry last night. Isa lang ang ibig sabihin no'n, ginawa niya talaga.

I wiped my tears before going inside the room. I sighed heavily and calmed myself down. The prof was still not here. I went to the restroom earlier during the break time because I lost my appetite. Pakiramdam ko, busog na busog ako sa problema.

"What's this?" I asked by myself when I saw a blue tupperware on my chair. I looked around to find Inna and Zea but I didn't see them. Baka nasa canteen pa. "Sa'yo 'to?" I asked Paolo when he passed by me. He shook his head.

"Kay Joaquin galing, para sayo raw," aniya.

Binuksan ko iyon para makita kung ano ang laman. It's a plain white rice with smiling face using cabbages and carrots as designs. I took the sticky note, nasa gilid siya ng tupperware kaya hindi ko agad napansin.

'Don't starve yourself, you should eat. Everything's gonna be fine, okay? I cooked that for you. Ubusin mo. I love you.'

- Joaquin.

I smiled after reading what was written in the note. I wasn't planning to tell him my problems but he called me last night after he arrived in his condo. As soon as I heard his voice, hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko at tuluyan nang napaiyak.

He asked me why and I told him what happened while we were on the phone call. He was just quiet while listening to my problem.

"Umiiyak ka ba? What's the problem? Kiela, makikinig ako."

Pinunasan ko ang luha ko pagkarinig ng boses niya sa kabilang linya. Ayoko sanang malaman pa niya dahil problema 'to ng pamilya ko pero baka sakaling gumaan ang pakiramdam ko kapag may napagsabihan ako.

So I told him what my father did. Tahimik lang siya habang nagku-kwento ako.

"Are you still there?" tanong ko pagkatapos kong masabi lahat.

I checked my phone, the call was still on going. Tinapat ko ulit yon sa tainga ko pero wala pa ring sumasagot. Maybe he was tired from driving and fell asleep. I let out a sigh and ended the call. Humiga na lang ako sa kama at tahimik na tumingin sa kisame, nag-iisip. I was already drowning in my own thoughts when suddenly, my phone rang. I answered Joaquin's call.

"Nandito ako, baba ka," bungad niya agad.

Naguguluhan man, naglakad na rin ako palabas ng kwarto. Tulog na si Coleen sa kama niya.

"Saan?" tanong ko dahil wala naman siya pagkababa ko.

"Labas," sagot niya kaya lumabas ako ng bahay at binuksan ang gate.

I saw him leaning on his car. His hand was placed on his pocket while the other one was still holding the phone, nakatapat sa tainga.

He gave me a smile and opened his arms widely, motioning me to come closer. "Come here, I'll hug you," he said.

I walked towards him and accepted his welcoming arms. Para akong batang hindi nabilan ng laruan habang umiiyak sa dibdib niya. He kissed my forehead before planting kisses on the top of my head.