Help Me, I'm Dying | BL [EDITING]

[22]

Hugi's POV

I can tell that Jefferson has panic attacks. I don't know what made him having them because it seems he's a very happy individual and doesn't care about problems. Wala akong naaalalang kahit ano na makakapagpa-trauma sa kanya way back from our childhood days.

It's been half an hour ng nahimatay siya. The doctor decided to stay here for a while to check if he's really fine. All of us were so worried. All of us literally panicked when he passed out. Thankfully, the doctor arrived in a right time.

"Hayaan niyo munang siya magpahinga hanggang sa magising siya." the doctor said, facing us. "What happened to him, Ms. Klea Amos?" Miss Pres asked. The doctor sighed before answering this Lady President's question. "Nagka-panic attack siya.'' I can see in everyone's faces that they expected that answer.

I had panic attacts before I broke my relationship with what-I-so called 'family'. I am a victim of abuse as well and also Whisley hyung too. He was also abused by our own sister and by our own parents for being a 'misfortune'. Kami lang ni kuya ang magkakampi sa bahay before so that's also the explanation kung bakit pinili ko 'pang mabuhay.

Those traumatic past left us a lot of damages. And I'm now worried to this Jefferson. What makes him had panic attack? Is this the first time or had already happened before?

In all people, why Jefferson?

This person never deserved to be in this situation. He never deserved to suffer in this unescapable, painful mental illness. He's loving, caring and a passionate kind of person.

He loves to risk his life just to experience new things while we're always there to save him if things go south. He's always there for you and always ready to listen to your shits eventhough at the end, you'll end up walking out because he can't stop making fun of you.

If you're crying, take a look on Jefferson's face while sleeping innocently and you'll feel better. His cuteness can heal every heart and can make you forget your problems. If you're mad about something, listen to Jefferson's loud laugh. At first, you'll be annoyed because it's too noisy but at the end of the day, you'll see yourself laughing hard because you realized his laugh sounds stupid.

Napatingin ako sa kanya. He's still sleeping innocently. His cute and innocent looks can't tell he's suffering mentally and emotionally. I have proofs for me to say that he's suffering that panic attacks. Also, I can predict and sense these patterns. Napansin kong papayat at papayat siya as the time goes by.

If he's not suffering mentally and emotionally, why did he had panic attack at first? Why did he commit suicide? Why did he cut his wrist?

But the big question is, what is the cause of everything?

Or I must say- what are the causes of everything that he's experiencing?

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Jefferson's POV

3 years ago...

Madilim na, 7:05 na ng gabi. Naglalakad ako ngayon papuntang convinient store. Kanina 'pang 5:00 PM ang uwian kaso may ginawa pa ako sa SSG office kaya inabutan ako ng gabi. Nasa business trip rin si papa kaya hindi ko feel na umuwi. Ayokong makita ako ng mga kapatid ko sa bahay. Kaso wala naman akong choice. Didiretso na sana ako pauwi ng bigla akong nagutom. Kaya, lalantak muna ako, siyempre.