(One Piece) Book of Oneshots and Such

Faux Nemesis

(Kidd X Reader) Captain Kidd was the most dastardly, ambitious criminal you've ever come across. Little did you know that you were alone in this opinion.

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"Captain Kidd!"

The said villain cackled from his lofty perch, absolutely making the most out of your ever growing more familiar situation.

"Like the view? I made sure this place had a look for the beach this time!" Kidd grinned smugly, like that was an accomplishment.

Meanwhile, you continued to writhe in the chains, both frustrated with your predicament and pissed that you actually found his remark amusing.

"When I said I liked the ocean this isn't what I had in mind!"

"Well then maybe you should've been more specific!"

"That's a cheap excuse and you know it!"

Just like that, it wasn't as if you were dangling upside down, fifty meters off the ground with a sharp and jagged slope of stone waiting to lessen your fall far down below, finding the same tune was like breathing for the both of you by now.

He knew how to press just the right buttons to get you upset, and you knew just what to do to bring him along for the ride.

In all your days, weeks, months, and now a full grown year squabbling with each other, there was something sacred to the pattern- despite what other people had to say about it, and no matter how unprofessional it could get, you wouldn't change it for anything else.

You always thought he was the same, y'know, considering how he's never taken advantage of it yet to finally be rid of you.

"Just admit you're a shitty hero for not noticing the red herrings! I made them obvious! It was foreshadowing at this point!"

"Shitty hero?! What about you?! All you've been doing lately is taking banks hostage and threatening politicians! And you never go through with your threats because I always get there on time!"

Kidd gasped like he was legitimately offended, "on time?! Bullshit!"

"What do you mean 'bullshit'?"

"The Condoriano Case?"

"What about it?!"

"I was holed up in that stronghold for three hours before you finally showed up!" The villain jumped down from the cliff side and sat himself on the hunk of machinery used to catch you and keep you aloft.

You choked in disbelief, "there is no way-" "you can go ask that bastard next time you see him! He'll tell you the two of us were waiting on your sorry ass for three whole damn hours!"

The two of you were quiet for a beat, an uncommon occurrence when you clashed, but it only lasted for a few seconds before a light bulb flashed above you.

"Hold up- no way! There's no way you could've been in that stronghold broadcasting your evilness for three fucking hours without another hero showing up to take care of you!"

It was this moment when Kidd went uncharacteristically silent, his scowl was wiped clean off his face, and for the first time in all the years you knew him, Kidd, the red scourge, the iron mercenary, the captain of blood, looked absolutely lost for words.

Seeing your longtime nemesis looking so out of his comfort zone caused your brain to short circuit, you couldn't make sense of this bizarre-ness that had become of your usual back-to-back introductory quips.