Wide Awake

<3>

Yoongi's POV:

I begin seasoning the pork, a seemingly difficult task due to the chaos around me. I never doubt that I am living with a bunch of children as my eardrums are attacked by the voices of the other 5 members. I can't quite tell what's going on, but Jimin and Taehyung seem to be arguing, Hoseok and Jungkook are getting competitive with some game, while Namjoon is full of stupid questions as he tries to help me in the kitchen. Whoever said there's no such thing as stupid questions has never been around Joon cooking. Yes, for the millionth time, you have to peel the onions.

I'm about to place the pork on the stove when I hear a loud crash. I immediately look up to see a guilty-looking maknae beside a broken vase. I sigh deeply before placing the piece of pork I was holding back onto the plate and pointing the tongs accusingly at the makanae. "Yah! This is why we can't have nice things!" I grumble.

"Sorry, Yoongi-hyung, I wasn't watching where I was going." Jungkook chuckles nervously while flashing his bunny smile.

"Yeah, yeah, just make sure Namjoon doesn't burn down the house. I have some super glue in my room." I casually leave the room, ignoring Namjoon's statement about him not breaking things for once. I mindlessly walk down the hall to mine and Seokjin's room. Reaching my desk, I begin to rummage through my belongings. "I could've sworn I had some here," I mutter to myself, growing confused.

The loud pitter-patter of the shower running reminds me of Seokjin. How long has he been in the shower? I stroll over and bang heavily on the door so he can hear me over the running water. "Jin-hyung? What's taking so long?"

     "I-I'm almost done! I just got distracted watching TikToks!" I roll my eyes at the eldest, I don't understand the obsession with this TikTok app. Sighing, I go back to looking for the glue.

About 5 minutes later, a wet-haired, tired-looking Seokjin emerged from the bathroom and gave me a confused look. "Aren't you supposed to be cooking supper?"

"I believe you are too, but you decided to use up our hot water instead." Jin chuckled in response. "Jungkook broke the vase in the dining room, I'm looking for the super glue. Any idea where it is?" I explain as I continue to search my side of the room.

Seokjin shakes his head, "Not sure. I'll go get supper finished while you look." I silently nod my head as he leaves the bedroom. My gaze falls on a framed photo of our debut show, sitting precariously on the window ledge. It clicks when I notice the clumsily repaired frame. Jin had used it just the week before when he had broken that very same frame. With this new lead I saw it more efficient to search his desk instead.

    After a few minutes of digging around, I finally found the small container. It had rolled to the back of his drawer and sits under a scrap piece of paper. However, as I was placing the paper back into the drawer, I noticed some dark stains. Tear stains? I never wish to invade my members' privacy, but this time, my curiosity got the best of me. Not to mention that we had all noticed a change in Seokjin and were getting increasingly worried about him. He likes to blame it on his studies and how overwhelmed he is, but I have had a feeling that there is something much more.

     After a moment of hesitation, I unfold the flimsy page. A lot is scribbled out, but it is still legible. My eyes scan the ink, trying to make sense of what it means. My eyes grow wide, and I suddenly feel as though I can't breathe. My heart is racing and I know in this moment that my gut feeling was right, but it's much worse than I ever imagined.

Third Person POV:

     All of the members are laughing and carrying on as Seokjin prepares their meal (he had kicked Namjoon out of the kitchen). Taehyung and Jimin have gotten over their spat and are now setting the table. While Hoseok, Jungkook and Namjoon work on piecing together the vase for when Yoongi finds the glue. Without any warning, Yoongi tumbles into the room, a displeased expression on his face.

     "Group meeting, right now." He shouts, confusing the other members.

     "But what about supper, Hyung? We're starving!" Taehyung whines.

     "Right now," Yoongi repeats, heading for the living room. The members exchange confused glances as Seokjin turns the stove on low, willing the food not to burn or get cold.

     They all pile onto the couches, joining Yoongi, who sits on the only armchair. He holds a piece of paper in his hands that only Seokjin recognizes. Jin feels his heart stop when he notices, praying that the meeting is about anything else.

     "What's going on, Hyung?" Namjoon asks, eyebrows furrowing. Yoongi takes this opportunity to lay the sheet on the coffee table in the middle of them all.

     "What's that?" Hobi pipes up. Everyone stares at Yoongi with questioning eyes, but he says nothing, only locks his sad gaze onto his hyung, who is desperately avoiding the attempt at eye contact.

     Namjoon quickly realizes that Yoongi will not be explaining and reaches for the paper. Before he could get close enough, both Yoongi and Seokjin's hands were grasped around the sheet. "Let it go," Jin growls through his clenched teeth.

     "You know I can't do that, Hyung." The rapper softly replies. "They need to know."

     "Know what? Seriously, what's the point of a group meeting if you're not gonna tell us?" Jimin argues, Taehyung nodding in agreement.

     "It's nothing. Yoongi was being foolish holding this meeting." The eldest never breaks eye contact with the younger, a stern look set on his face, but the younger wasn't intimidated. He could see the pain in the singers' eyes, how desperate he was to keep his plan quiet, and that scared him the most. It's also why he needed the others to know.

     "It's a suicide note."

________________________________

"I scream out of frustration, but the empty air echoes.
I hope tomorrow will be different from today.
I'm just wishing."

~Tomorrow, BTS