Wide Awake

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Jungkook's POV:

     It's all my fault. They told me not to say anything to him until they got home. They warned me, and I ignored it. Now I'm sitting here, all alone. The members took a detour to find Jin before coming home. Guilt swallows me as I cry into the empty dorm. If Seokjin-hyung does something to hurt himself, it will all be my fault.

     This thought immediately sends me into another wave of sobs. The emotions are so overwhelming that I don't even hear the front door open. A pair of arms wrap protectively around me, and I don't even question who it is as Taehyung's favourite cologne fills my nose. I bury my face into his chest and let everything go; the only thing getting me through it is Tae's gentle whispers of comfort.

     "It's all my fault, Tae," I cry out, finally able to form words.

     "Shh, no, Kookie. It's no one's fault, he will be okay." He softly kisses the top of my head as I sniffle and whimper in his lap.

Hoseok's POV:

      Jimin and I silently wander the streets of Seoul, it has gotten dark and no one but groups of sketchy teenagers are out and about. Namjoon and Yoongi are off looking elsewhere, as we figured splitting into groups would be our best chance at finding Seokjin.

     "He couldn't have gone far. Have you heard from Joon-hyung and Yoongi-hyung?" Jimin voices his concern. I take out my phone, only to see a message from Namjoon.

Joonie: Anything?

Me: Not yet.

Me: You?

     Placing my phone back into my coat pocket I sigh and shake my head. "We'll find him, Jimin-ah." I smile and wrap an arm around his shoulder. A vibration is heard from my pocket, so I quickly reach for my phone once again.

Joonie: Nothing. Just spoke with Tae, nothing from their end either. He mentioned that Jin-hyung left his phone at the dorm though.

Me: At least he isn't ignoring us. We're walking by the shops near the dorm again, then we'll head back. It's getting late, and Chim seems like he's about to crash.

Joonie: Good idea. We're going to stay out a bit longer. Get the kids to bed, we have an early rise.

Me: Will do. Don't be too late, you need sleep too.

     "What are they saying?" Jimin's eyes are wide, awaiting the response.

     "Just saying that we should head back soon," I say, watching as his face falls.

     "We can't go back. We haven't found Hyung." Jimin has always been an exceptionally caring and selfless person. His eyes have been falling heavy for the last hour, yet he continues to search. I offer a sympathetic smile at his persistence.

     "Joon and Yoongi-hyung are going to stay out a bit longer, but you need rest. Plus, Jin-hyung is responsible; he will manage on his own." I say this last part in an attempt to calm Jimin's mind, but I don't even believe it. Yes, he is capable of taking care of himself, but considering what he's going through, who knows what has happened to him... or what he has done to himself. Before my thoughts get the chance to go down that road, I notice Jimin freeze beside me.

     "Hobi-hyung!" I glance back to see Jimin pointing ahead. Following his gesture, I find myself seeing a figure in all black lying in the middle of the road. Adrenaline fills my body at the thought of it being Seokjin, so I begin running, Jimin close behind.

      As we get closer, we see that the figure is Seokjin. Jimin kneels and shakes him, as he seems to be asleep. I quickly take out my phone and dial Namjoon's number, watching as his eyes flutter open.

     "Hyung? What's going on?" Joon sounds exhausted.

     "We found him." is all I can say as I take in the state of our beloved hyung. He can barely stand, swaying in his drunken state, he seems to have been crying, and all emotions have been drained from his face. He stares dully into the dark, starless sky. I meet Jimin's eyes, who seems to be thinking the same as me.

      "Hobi-hyung?? Answer me! Where are you?"

     "Uh, um, shit sorry." I realize that I had been ignoring Joon. "We're outside the local pub near our dorm."

     "Shit," Joon mutters under his breath, probably knowing exactly what to expect. "We're close by, on the way." I don't even have time to respond before he hangs up.

Third Person POV:

     Three figures are seen stumbling down the sidewalk as Namjoon and Yoongi near the pub. Based on height alone, they assume that Seokjin is being held up in the middle, in which Jimin and Hoseok are struggling with. When Namjoon and Yoongi notice this, they don't hesitate to run up to help the boys.

     Before they can even offer their help, Jin pushes away from the members, falling to the stony pavement. He begins to gag and choke, followed by a harsh rush of vomit. Yoongi kneels and rubs Jin's back as the other members silently exchange saddened looks. They all knew what he was trying to do, why he was in this state.

     Seokjin, with Yoongi's help, slowly raises to his feet and wipes his mouth. "Feel better?" Yoongi gently smiles, eyes turning sad as he takes a closer look at Jin's appearance. Sunken in cheeks and puffy eyes. His Hyung's pillowy lips resemble that of the cracked pavement, colourless and dry.

     "Ya." Seokjin slurs his words, furrowing his brows. "Why shud you care?" He begins to stumble off, but Yoongi grabs his wrist.

     "Because we love you and want you to be safe," Jimin cries, tears streaming down his face in frustration. Namjoon places a hand on his back, holding him close.

     "I'm a grown man, for god's sake! Why am I being treated like a child?! If I wnt to go have a few drinks, why shudn't I be able to?!" Seokjin screams. The others stare at him with pity; they can see through his anger, and all they see is despair.

     "Hyung, we all use alcohol as a crutch sometimes, but..." Yoongi speaks gently, not wanting to argue, simply needing him to understand. "It won't solve your problems. This is reckless and dangerous. What if we couldn't find you? What if..." Yoongi decides not to finish that sentence, not wanting to think about it anymore.

     For just a moment, Seokjin's facade broke. His eyes began to water and lips began to tremble. He knows that what Yoongi is saying is true, he knows exactly what he's doing to himself. The others prepare themselves for another mental breakdown, slowly coming towards him for comfort. To their surprise, Jin simply blinks away his tears and plasters that sickly sweet smile on his face. "You're right, I'll be more careful. Let's just go home."

     The members stare in shock as Jin turns and begins to walk back to the dorm.

     "This is bad," Hoseok mutters under his breath. Jimin muffles his cries, Namjoon still holding him tightly to his side. Yoongi sighs deeply.

     "Yeah, really bad."
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"I can't be free from this lie,
Give me back my smile,
Caught in a lie.
Pull me from this hell,
I can't be free from this pain.
Save me, I am being punished."

~Lie, Jimin