Wide Awake

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Third-person POV:

"Drugs? Are you sure?" Yoongi and Namjoon are gathered in the latter's studio. He had been attempting to catch up on some collaborations he had committed to when Yoongi barged in with more nervous energy than he's ever seen the older man hold.

"No, I'm not." The raven-haired rapper paces back and forth, nearly kicking up a spark as he turns to face Namjoon. "But he had powder under his nose, Joon."

"He was also covered in flour." Namjoon tries to reason, not wanting Yoongi to be right.

"Think about it. He runs off to a sketchy bar, coming home completely out of it." Yoongi uses his fingers to list off all of the red flags. "Then he started to have mood swings. He's singing in the kitchen at 4 am, then he's angry for no reason, then he comes back from a trip to the bathroom with a scarily bright smile. And the powder under his nose!" The rapper's eyes are wide with panic, willing Namjoon to hear what he's saying. The leader sighs, rubbing his face with the palm of his hand. "Plus, did you see the fridge?"

"The fridge?" Namjoon furrows his brows, confusion etched across his face. Yoongi nods enthusiastically.

"Yes, the fucking fridge is full of pre-made meals, Joon. He was up cooking for god knows how long! We'll be eating that shit for weeks." Yoongi's voice is urgent, hitting each syllable as though it would help find the solution to their problems.  "Where do you think he found that kind of energy? It sure as hell isn't caffeine."

"So, what do we do? Search his room? Follow him? You know he won't admit it."

"I don't know, but we have to do something." Yoongi's jaw is clenched, and his fingers anxiously rub against each other. The two friends stare at each other, lost in thought, as the facts Yoongi had presented feel too much like proof of something neither wants to be true.

"An intervention?" Namjoon finally pitches, voice somber and low. The silence envelops them once more, the word echoing through their minds.

"You saw what happened last time we cornered him." Yoongi shakes his head at the memory of Seokjin's fist colliding with the wall. He sighs, flopping down onto the peeling brown leather couch parallel to Namjoon's desk, hands holding his head. "I think we have no choice but to search his room." They remain quiet for a while, minds spinning with the possibilities of their oldest brother being an addict.

"Until then..." Namjoon spins in his chair to face his computer, recognizing the need for a distraction while they wait to act on their plan. "I need your opinion on this beat. I've been on a roll, but the chorus doesn't sound right." He presses play on a file, and Yoongi immediately relaxes, leaning back to focus on the music.

The duo sits in the studio until it's time to leave for practice, tweaking the song and brainstorming other ideas. Yoongi and Namjoon had always been very similar in this way, being able to throw themselves into their music whenever life got too hectic. Moments like this are therapeutic for them both, especially when shared.

Jimin's POV:

After Seokjin's outburst during breakfast, the group didn't take long to disperse. I, however, have been waiting for a moment with the eldest, eager to get through to him. Namjoon and Yoongi mentioned heading to the studio to get some work in before practice. Hoseok tagged along, mumbling something about catching up on the choreography where he had missed practice the day before. Taehyung and Jungkook are still somewhere in the dorm, but all that matters is that Seokjin is sitting at the table picking away at his breakfast, and I refuse to leave him alone.

I plop down in the chair next to him, smiling softly as he lifts his gaze. "The pancakes are delicious, Hyung. Thank you!" I take extra care to sweeten my voice, unsure of what to expect after his anger just minutes ago.

"I'm glad you liked them, Chim." My heart soars at his gleeful tone, his smile brightening my day. A high chuckle escapes my lips, and my eyes crinkle as I smile. So, I decide to take advantage of his good mood, feeling more comfortable speaking my mind.

"I was thinking, it's been so long since we have spent time alone together." I pause, feeling out his reaction before getting too excited. To my surprise, his face lights up.

"Of course! I would love to, we could go see a movie, or maybe to the arcade." He nods, speaking fast as he forgets about his food. I watch, my smile faltering slightly at his chaotic speech and uncharacteristic movement. Why is he twitching so much? Suddenly, he jumps up, bringing his plate to the kitchen. "Oh! What if we went bowling? I haven't been bowling since I was in high school. One of my friends took me, but he wasn't very good. I think his name was Hyunjin... no, Hyunjin was the one who tutored me in math. Did I tell you I had to be tutored in math?" My chest tightens, and my smile is completely gone as he rambles on. I shake my head softly, unsure if I should speak up.

My once hopeful mind is now swimming with concerning thoughts. Although I'm happy to see him so energetic, I can't help but feel like there is something wrong. I think back to his early morning singing, his angry outbursts, all these mood swings that are cause for concern, especially after so long being in such a dark place. I know he has opted for unhealthy coping mechanisms before, but would he... no, I can't think like that. After a few more moments of letting him babble on and on, I decide to stand.

"Seokjinnie-hyung?" I speak calmly, slowly making my way to the kitchen.

"Yes, Chim?" He doesn't stop moving, cleaning up the kitchen. His eyes fall onto mine for a moment. They are glazed over, his pupils glowing eerily in the bright kitchen light, and his dark circles are emphasized by the blue tint to the bulbs. I swallow the lump in my throat, forcing a nervous smile.

"Is everything okay?" Every word spills with caution, not wanting to disrupt his positive glow. The singer just laughs loudly, as if the answer is obvious.

"I'm absolutely amazing! It's such a beautiful day, and we're going to spend time together. Aren't you excited?" He sighs happily, turning to me with a cheeky grin. "And thanks to Hyunjin, I understand the Pythagorean theorem!" I hesitate, not wanting to push him too far, but I can't stop the worry churning in my gut.

"O-of course I am, you just... You seem different today." I whisper, trying to get a read on his expression. 

"Wah, my dramatic dongsaengs, always worried." Seokjin teases, seemingly unaware of how loud his voice is. Taehyung and Jungkook peek around the corner cautiously, having heard the commotion that was Seokjin's ramblings. The eldest returns to the dishes, humming a song, peacefully unaware of the others' presence.

I meet their confused eyes from where I stand in the kitchen, fear and worry pouring from my expression.

_______________________________

On days I hate being myself,

Days I want to disappear forever.

Let's make a door in your heart,

Open the door and this place will await.

It's okay to believe,

The Magic Shop will comfort you.

~Magic Shop, BTS