Wide Awake

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Third Person POV:

     Seokjin and Namjoon sit comfortably on a shared couch. Joon lays his thigh closely to his elder's, but not enough to make him suspicious. A large bowl of popcorn sits between them as they enjoy a movie, Jin's choice of course. Their relaxing day is coming to an end, since the other members would be home in about an hour. The day had been amazing, they only did simple things such as grocery shopping, and tidying the house. They even went for a walk, in which Joon spent most of the time taking pictures and voicing his love for the little things, like how the leaves rustled in the breeze, or how the water sparkled under the golden sun beams (Jin found it absolutely adorable). They had decided that a lighthearted movie would be the best way to end it. To sum it all up, Seokjin is the happiest he has been in a long time, and Namjoon is ecstatic to see this.

     As the credits roll, Seokjin lifts himself off of the couch, making Joon silently groan from the singers warmth leaving his side. "Where are you going?" The leader's curious eyes follow his movements.

      Jin chuckles at the younger's nosiness. "Bringing the bowl into the kitchen, would you like to join me?" After placing the bowl on the counter, he takes his place back on the couch. To Namjoon's content, he sits closer than before, turning his body to face the rapper. "Thank you for today." A serious, but grateful expression rests on Seokjin's face.

      Memories of Jin's smile and laughs from the past day fly through Namjoon's head. He had missed his hyung's genuine smile, and the older would never understand how much seeing it today really means to him. "No need to thank me hyung. I had an incredible day, It was nice to see you back to your old self."

      The rooms goes silent as they both know where the conversation is headed. "I'm sorry. I know I haven't exactly been a model hyung lately."

     "What did we say about apologizing?" Namjoon quickly interjects. "You should be able to express your true feelings without apologizing."

     "I don't know what's happening Joon-ah. I really am trying, I swear. It's just-" He sighs and rubs his palm against his forehead. "Everything keeps going wrong, I keep fucking things up. I know I'm being immature but it's like I don't even know what I'm doing until it's too late. I love you all and hate to be the reason everything is falling apart." The older stares into Namjoon's eyes, looking desperate and lost.

     Namjoon offers a sympathetic smile. "I'm not going to pretend I understand, but I can tell you, that without a doubt, you are doing nothing wrong. No one is blaming you for anything, you have an illness hyung. All that we ask is that you let us help you." Namjoon doesn't fail to notice how Jin's eyes widen slightly at the mention of getting help. His gaze shoots down at his hands, which are folded nervously in his lap. Joon's lips drag down into a frown, breathing in deeply. He gently lays his hand over Jin's folded ones. "What's on your mind?"

     "I don't want help." The singer mutters the words so softly that Joon barely picks them up, but he does, and it causes his breath to hitch.

     "Why not?" He treads carefully, not wanting to upset his hyung further.

     Before Seokjin can even open his mouth to respond, the front door flies open, revealing five laughing men. Namjoon can't keep his eyes off of the man before him, the way a smile is instantly pasted onto his lips. It's not the same as before, it doesn't reach his eyes and it's not followed by that famous windshield wiper laugh they all love so much. Seokjin leaves the younger alone on the couch to greet his other dongsaengs. Joon's expression remains somber as he watches his hyung interact so easily after what they had just been discussing. He can't help but wonder if he had been lied to all day, if his old hyung didn't come back at all and he was just delusional.

     "Hyungie! How was your day with Joonie-hyung??" Taehyung asks as he throws himself into Jin's arms, his boxy smile big as ever.

     Jin chuckles as he hugs the boy back, "He didn't break anything, so I'd say it was good." The other members surround the eldest, asking about his day and then rambling on about their's.

Yoongi's POV:

     The room buzzes with excitement as we return from practice. Everyone, including myself, are ecstatic to see Jin-hyung up and around. All the tired faces I had seen during the van ride home were suddenly filled with energy. I listen contently to the members as they tell their hyung all about their day, but something feels off. I suddenly realize that Joon is absent from the conversation, my smile sinks as there is an unpleasant feeling in my gut.

     I leave the dining room, where the members have gathered, to find Namjoon. I enter the tv room to see him staring blankly at the empty cushion next to him.

     "Did our parents have a fight?" I chuckle lightly, hoping to bring a smile to his face. He turns his face towards me, breaking from the trance he was in. A sad smile appears on his face, a sight that has been occurring too often these days. I sigh and take the seat next to him. "So you spoke to him?" Namjoon nods slowly, obviously still deep in thought. We sit in silence for a while, I want to let him speak when he is ready.

     "He doesn't want help." Namjoon's frustration is evident as he furrows his brows and hangs his head. "What are we supposed to do if he refuses help?" I sit up and place a hand reassuringly on his back.

     "I don't know."

     Okay, maybe it's not that reassuring.
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"But you know, sometimes
I really really hate myself.
To be honest, quite often
I really hate myself."

~Reflection, RM
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A/N

I just realized that I forgot about Jin's hand being hurt.
Let's just pretend it didn't take much damage and healed quickly, okay?
thanks😂🥴