Live for them

Chapter 26/ Marinette

I opened my eyes to the sound of a steady heartbeat and looked up to see Adrien on his phone, looking at something.

I smiled as I watched him. He had such a concentrated look on his face. Relaxed, but concentrated.

His eyes met with mine and I smiled before sitting up.

"Sleep well?" Adrien asked before I kissed him.

"Not really." I admitted.

"Nightmares?" He whispered quietly, and I nodded as I climbed around him so that I was sitting behind him.

I started just messing around with his hair and he didn't seem to mind. He was too concentrated on his phone.

I peeked over the top of his head to see what he was looking at, and saw that it was some sort of Chinese lesson from an app.

"Seriously?" I shook my head before resting my chin on his head.

He was muttering to himself, most likely saying the words quietly.

I rubbed my eyes and looked around. Chloe was still sleeping and Nino was on his phone with Alya curled up at his side.

I looked around the room for a clock, then settled for the top of Adrien's phone screen.

7:53.

I would normally sleep in, but with the Nightmares I couldn't. It's not like I could sleep in very much because the food would be coming soon anyways.

I waited around a little longer before deciding to take advantage of everyone not doing anything by taking a shower and getting ready for the day.

I got up from my spot on the couch and looked at Tikki who was curled up against Plagg on one of the pillows on the couch. I smiled at them and turned and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me.

I turned on the water and made it as hot as possible. I took my hair out of the ponytail that I had left it in and started gently pulling my Pajama pants off and underwear then took off my top. I stopped and looked at my naked body in the mirror.

You could just barely see the marks on my arms anymore, but the marks on my legs were so clear, along with the scar from when Deathwish stabbed me with that syringe.

I cleared my throat to make sure that I still had my voice and then sighed as tears welled up in my eyes.

I climbed into the shower and sat down on the bottom when I shut the glass door. The glass door was already fogging up, and I closed my eyes as the water washed over me. The water burned my skin, but I couldn't care less.

I hugged my legs and buried my face in my elbows.

Then I cried. I cried until tears weren't falling down my face and instead I was just making crying sounds. I was no longer crying. I was curled up on the bottom of the shower choking out everything that I had been taught to keep a secret: My heart's deepest feelings.

My Mom is gone. Luka is gone. Kim is gone. Max is gone. Kagami is gone. Sabrina is gone. Ivan is gone. Mylene is gone. Nathaniel is gone. Marc is gone. Juleka is gone. Rose is gone. They're all gone. And it's all my fault.

Guilt boiled in my chest alongside the aching of my heart.

I took three shaky breaths after I realized that I had been here for quite a while.

I stood up and turned off the water, grabbing a towel when I stepped out of the shower.

I looked around before realizing that I forgot my bag.