Promise (KageHina) [✨Completed✨]

18

Kageyama p.o.v, present time

It was a storm outside his house. I could only keep my head bowed while everyone went to meet Hinata's mother.

It felt hard to breathe.

When I thought I was going to pass out from the heat, I felt a squeeze on my shoulder and I looked up.

"S-Sugawara-san...."

"Do you want to get some air?" He asked, face masked in worry. "Sky's somewhere outside."

I nodded and briefly wiped my tears before walking out.

"Hey," I felt Yamaguchi's hand on my shoulder as I walked by. "We're here for you, okay? He was a great friend."

"....Yeah, he was." He still is.

I walked outside, sitting down by his porch. I buried my face in my arms and stayed that way. I felt a presence next to me, and knew it was Sky's.

I didn't know how long we sat down for but it was long enough that Sky headed inside first while someone else exited.

"Oi, Kageyama."

I recognized that familiar tone.

"You should head back inside.. They're waiting for you." Tsukishima nudged my shoulder when I didn't move. "Oi, did you hear me? We're waiting for you."

We...? "....I don't want to go back in there."

"Why not?"

"I just... Can't," I remained in my position, face buried in my arms. "I'm not... In my best condition right now..." I tried my best to hide my trembling voice. To stop my tears from falling.

"Why are you pretending like all of this is nothing to you? Why are you... Trying so hard to pretend like.. everything is fine? You literally lost your best friend!!"

I heard the tremble in his voice.

"You lost someone who meant so much to you and now you're just trying to push that reality away?! You want to look your best?! Accept-"

"Just shut up!!" I had to cut him off. I had to. I didn't even notice I stood up until I was eye to eye with him. "I know he's gone! I know that I'll never see him again and playing volleyball will be a good reminder for all of us to remember that he's no longer with us!!!"

"Kageyama!"

I didn't realize I had raised my voice until Daichi's voice filled the void between us. I turned away and sat back on the ground. I couldn't even stand to bear the regret and guilt that I was carrying. 

"Tsukishima, go ahead and head back in." I heard a soft okay from him and Daichi sat next to me afterward. "Kageyama...."

"I'm fine..." I said through gritted teeth before he could say anything. "Don't worry about me.."

"Of course I worry!" Daichi said, exasperated. "You have never once told us how you felt yet you're still trying to lie your way through. I know this is hard for you and I know he meant so much to you. All the more reasons for you to open up to us more. Kageyama, you can't keep hiding how you feel all the time."

I gripped my arms, preventing myself from crying. "A.. part of me wants to say "I'm fine" and another part of me just... Wants to cry. If I had just... Walked to him that day... If I had just... Talked to him... Done something, anything. If I had been there, he wouldn't have... He wouldn't... He-" I couldn't hold back the tears. I buried my face in my arms as I hugged my knees. "....Forget it."

I want to forget all of this... Please... Let this day be over.

"Daichi-san... Please," I wiped my tears before facing him. "It's hard on all of us. I'd prefer to be alone for a bit."

He sighed and nodded. "We're here for you... Just say the word." He said before going back inside.

".....Right."

***

It had been a week since the funeral. There was not a day where I wouldn't get up without thinking about him.

I took my phone and stared at the message that was last sent by me, unanswered.

[Kageyama, 6:00 am:] I was asleep, did something happen?

A part of me wanted an answer and the other, just wanted to throw my phone across the room. I sighed, tossing my phone aside. There was no point in waiting. I stared at the ceiling, not wanting to move.

"Tobio-kun, you'll be late for school."

I grumbled at the voice that belonged to my sister. "Don't wanna."

Miwa sighed. "Get up, eat something and go to school. You've been absent for a week now."

I sighed, sitting up on my bed. "I know... It's just... It's hard.. For everyone.."

"I know.."

I sighed and left my bed, making it and went to get a quick shower.

Breakfast tasted bland, and as I dragged myself to school, I took in the scenery. Before I knew it, I was already at school. It felt off to step into school and not see his bike by the stands. Not racing him to the gym. I gulped and took that step through the school gates, staring down at my feet.

If only...

"If only I had walked up to you that day.." I mumbled, walking to class with my head down.

***