"Aren't you hungry?" Shay asked me as we sat at the table for lunch. I was hungry just didn't feel like eating. "No I'm fine" i replied poking at my mashed potatoes with my fork, drawing a smiley face in the center of the glop.mthe food here was amazing. It was delicious, like to an extreme, but i just couldn't bring myself to eat today. I don't know why. I just dont feel hungry.
I pulled the sleeves of niall's hoodie so that they covered my hands and smelt the cologne on it. It really helped that he doused it with his cologne because if i close my eyes real tight and just smell it, it's almost like he's here. Niall and i talk every time there is a phone call day and he never misses a visiting day. Every time he comes, he sprays the clothes I'm wearing with his cologne, and i always make sure to bring his hoodies so he can spray them as well.
I've been here for about a week now and have gotten used to everything. It seems like everyday we get new people coming in. Just this week we have gotten ten new people eight are girls and two are boys. It's been crazy in here. There has been a few fights, and only a few restrains. Of course there is always drama between girls, but i stay out if that best i can and mind my own business. No one in here judges me, or makes fun of me. They treat me like a normal person, I'm quite popular around here actually. All of the girls enjoy my company and my therapist really like me. Everyone does i would say. Even Nolan has warmed up to me.
"Ok girls everyone go to c pod today for group therapy sessions" Nolan told us as he looked at our schedule for Thursday.
"Ok girls today were talking about trust, and how it can build and destroy relationships" joy smiled. Joy was a fairly short lady with winter snow hair and always had her purple reading glasses roped around her neck. Her hair always in a half up half down do. She was rather nice as far as older women go, and she was highly intelligent, but what i liked most about her is that she always understood us on a more advanced level than anyone else, like she was one of us, like she was in the same situation.
"What is trust exactly?" Joy asked us, sitting down at the large oak table. "Anyone wanna take a guess?" She shrugged her shoulders. "It's the belief that something is good or reliable or to have confidence in," i spoke up. "Ok now put that in simpler words" she laughed. " it simply means that it is a belief that we can have a source that we can rely on not to betray us, or stab us in the back," i smiled as everyone agreed and nodded. "It's like something or someone we have complete confidence in" Courtney nodded.
"How many of you have at least one person you know you can trust?" Joy asked us.
The majority of us raised our hands. Mine went up, but i wasn't thinking of niall. There was only one person i knew i could trust.
"How many of you have been betrayed by something or someone you trusted with all your heart?" Joy asked us.
My hand went up as the whole class did as well. "You can never fully trust someone, you may think you can, but who's to say that they won't betray you? Even the ones who are closest to you can turn their back on you. Trust is a hard thing to earn for some people and once it's been broken, it can be very hard to repair that trust and mold it back into the shape it used to be." She nodded. "Trust can never be perfect. Think of it as a shape, it would take years and years to develop the perfect shaped shape. I mean we can draw straight lines with a ruler, but if the ruler isn't straight than how can we be sure the line is straight? Right?" She smiled as we all stopped to think.
"Like an eraser?" I bit my lip. "Like an eraser trust gets smaller with every mistake. Trust is the most expensive thing in the world and like you said can take years to earn, but it only takes a matter of seconds to lose it, and forever to repair it. It's like you can break my mirror and try to fix it, but the cracks will always be seen right?"
"Yes that's correct, trust is a tricky thing. Think about self trust. How many of you used to self harm?" She asked. Again almost all of us raised our hands.
"You can heal your cuts and wounds again and again and keep repatching yourself as long as you want, but your scars are always there, and no it's not beautiful or is it something to hate yourself over. Those scars have made your stronger, they are your battle wounds, your trophies. They show that you won the war because your still here. Those scars led you to become the person you are today. Think about it, if you would have never been in that dark place, would you have appreciated the light as much as you do now?" Joy questioned as she walked around the room
"No because you wouldn't have know How bad things can be, Or how bad things can get. Stars can't shine without darkness. Meaning it order for something to be good and for us see it as such, it has to be surrounded by evil or darkness. If we as humans saw everything only in light-as stars-then we will no longer be able to tell good from bad. evil and darkness are needed whether we like it or not to maintain balance. You can't see the stars in the sky when it's daylight now can you? This is a perfect example of what i just said. Bad things in life make us cherish the good ones like the night makes us realize how beautiful the stars are. Just like we find happiness in our darkest hours. The more we get knocked down by the evil, the more stubborn we become and push harder and harder until we finally get where we desire. The darkness helped us become stars. We have to be thankful for the bad experiences because it made us the way we are today. It thought us the most important lessons and showed us who to trust and not trust. It was darkness not the light. " i looked up as joy nodded and jotted something down in her notebook.
"I think you've got it," she smiled.
"Yeah i think i do" i smiled
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I know this chapter was VERRRRYYYY SHORT! But i wanted to update and I'm super tired and have had a lot to do so i will try to update again and stuff. Thank you so much for all the support on the book and the reads! You guys are so amazing and i couldn't have dine it without you! You all deserve awards
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a kiss on the wrist
Fanfic"So this is growing up huh,you know tear stained pillows every night,staring naked at yourself in the mirror, waiting for a text that will never come, wishing for impossible things, like narrower thighs or prettier hair. It's a vicious cycle of bein...
