The Man of my Dreams

31

"Fuck." I whispered after seeing the result. "Putangina." It was positive. I was also carrying a child. Natulala ako, pinalayas ko na 'yung ama noong bata dahil may nauna siyang pamilya. I cried when I laid on the bed, thinking if my decision was right. Did I prevented my child to have a father? Is it my fault? Things were occupying my mind. I was trembling while overthinking. I cried myself to sleep and just woke up when someone knocked, it was Madie.

She came with a breakfast meal. "Positive?" Tanong niya agad sa akin noong umupo na ako para sa pagkain. I was so hungry and I need to eat for my child.

"Yes. I'm having a child." I slowly nodded. May part sa akin na masaya siyempre dahil gusto ko na rin naman talaga, pero kinakain ako ng guilt dahil magulo ang magiging pamilya niya. I never dreamed to be single mother nor my child to not have a father. It was bothering me so much.

"Congrats love." Niyakap niya ako. Tumulo lang ulit ang luha ko. "I'm sorry for what you are going through. I'll be here for you through it all." She kissed my cheek. She was combing my hair while I was eating kaya kumalma ako.

"How about his father?" She asked.

"Kaya ko. Kaya kong buhayin ang anak ko mag-isa." Mariin kong sabi.

"You can but your child can't. Hindi pwedeng wala siyang kikilalaning ama kahit pa gago ang tatay niya." She chuckled, tumawa naman ako at umiling. 

"Hindi naman niya agad hahanapin ang tatay niya pagkapanganak ko. That's the last thing on my mind right now." Sabi ko at nagbihis. Wala akong mga daster o dress na pambahay kaya mamimili ako mamaya. I just wore a maxi dress to go to the hospital first, si Madie ang kasama ko. I wore face mask and a cap, maraming gustong makarinig sa side ko pero wala akong balak bigyan ang kahit sino man ng pahayag. It is a hot issue right now, once again, topic na naman kami.

"Congrats, Ms. Panaligan, you're six weeks pregnant." Dra. Ibañez told me, napangiti naman ako pati si Madie.

"Thank you Doc.. Am I still safe to travel?" Parang noon lang, hindi ako makakausad kung hindi ako lalayo. Ngayon naman, hindi magiging ayos ang pagbubuntis ko kung hindi ako lalayo.

"Since you're in the first trimester pregnancy, low risk lang na mapahamak ang dinadala mo. Just be careful and listen carefully to my precautions. At please, 'wag kang magpapastress kung ayaw mo maging maselan ang pagbubuntis mo. I can sense that you are." She explained. "Goodluck on your journey, Ms. Panaligan. You're gonna be a good mother I swear." She said kaya I bowed at her.

"Thank you Doc." Tinanggal ko ang mask ko para ngumiti at kinabit ito ulit dahil lalabas na kami ng ospital. I held Madie's hand while we're leaving, siya nalang ang bumili sa Mall ng mga daster at mga vegetables at fruits habang nasa car lang ako. Nahihilo ulit ako kaya siya na ang nagdrive ng kotse.

"You need to eat more fruits and vegetables pero nasa diet lang, avoid fastfood at don't stress yourself too much. Sleep early at magexcercise ka pero h'wag kang tatalon parang awa mo na Charmira. Lagi kang magpapaassist kapag wala ako roon para alalayan ka okay?" Lahat na ata ng kelangan ng preggy ay naresearch na ni Madie sa loob ng isang oras. We were so lucky to have her.

"Yes, thank you Mads." Iyon nalang ang sinagot ko dahil busy ako magbook ng tickets. I only have one week here in the Philippines and I will fly soon. Isesettle ko lang lahat nang iiwan ko sa loob ng isang linggo. Hindi ko alam kung gaano ako katagal magiistay sa Australia dahil hindi ko naman problema ang Visa. At isa pa, Madie will be the acting CEO for the mean time dahil hindi ko nga alam kung gaano ako katagal mawawala. I trust her and I know she won't let me down. In my first day, ang una kong pinuntahan ay ang Holistic Health Care Center. This will be the last time I will visit the cancer patients here. Lagi akong pumupunta noon dito para tumulong at mangamusta ng mga pasyente, dahil mayroon akong hindi naligtas noon na biktima ng cancer.