Not in my Job Description

Shame on you. Shame on me

A man so regal and elegant stood in the centre of his grand and luxurious drawing room. The tall walls and carved ceiling had once been an essential key in giving a stalwart Lucius Malfoy his well associated grandeur to those who had the opportunity to set foot in the Malfoy Manor. However, as Lucius stood in the centre of the room, the walls instead accented the slouch that had become his posture.

"No Harry! No more sugar! Put that candy cane down! Actually where did you even get that?" all around Lucius seemed to be children everywhere. They ran and ran, circling his tired form, a Weasley, a Snape (Potter) and a Malfoy, Lucius never prophesied that such a trio would be his undoing. 

"Ron Weasley! No leaping on Draco!" Lucius caught the young ginger mid leap. With a small child at his hip, Lucius looked into the large soulful blue eyes of the youngest Weasley boy, sighing Lucius placed Ron on the couch and patted his soft, vibrant locks. Surveying the room, Lucius searched for the other two children.

"Harry? Draco? Where did you go?" Lucius called out. "Boys?" he called out again. Huffing, Lucius grabbed the young Weasley and went to look for the other two toddlers. Searching each cupboard and room, Lucius called for the run away boys. "Come on boys, its bed time now! You can't hide all night!"

"Mr Malfoy?" Lucius turned his attention toward Ron, "Maybe you should ask for help", the little boy suggested.

"Mmh" Lucius contemplated, Malfoy's don't need help, like ever. But this was a whole new situation, there were no dark artefacts, no dark magic, no duels, stuff that Lucius could actually handle. 

It was just like Narcissa to book her girls holiday on the day of the boys sleepover, Lucius could barely manage Draco on his own, let alone two other kids. And he was getting sick of the house elves neediness, it was just infuriating at this point. So Lucius decided to swallow his pride and ask for help from the only person for the job, someone who is just as crazy to keep up with those kids; Sirius Black.

Plopping Ron on Lucius' back, he crouched down and threw some flew powder into the fireplace, calling to the Snape residence. "Black? You there?"

A head popped up in the fireplace, turning the red wispy flames into a shaped green hue. "Malfoy? The fuck you want?" Sirius' asked.

"Sirius! The kids!" Lucius exclaimed, pointed at the ginger that clung to his back.

"Right sorry, Why did you call?"

"Ugh!" Lucius started dramatically, "three kids are so difficult! They are so hyperactive and fast!"

"And why are you telling me all of this?"

"...." Lucius quietened down, "I-I may or may not need help handling all of these kids".

Sirius let out a bellowing laugh and demanded for Lucius to get out the way. In a matter of minutes, the last of the Black's stood in all might in front of him, dressed in only a silken red robe that did nothing to cover up his besotted jewels.

"Ugh! Cover up!" Lucius exclaimed, shielding both his and Ron's eyes from the dangling friend upon the dark haired man.

"Sorry mate, I've been waiting for Snape to get back from his thing..." Lucius waved his wand and transfigured Sirius' robe into something more child-friendly and rolled his eyes.

Sirius' words piqued Lucius' interest, Severus hadn't mentioned Potter? Well, then again, he could understand Severus' point of view, the trouble he would create would be unparalleled... Fuck... The trouble he will create now that Severus has slept with him! Shit!

"Malfoy. Where is Harry?" Sirius asked, probing every area of the large drawing room in an attempt to find his god son.

"Ehh.. Somewhere..." the blonde aristocrat stated slowly, uncomfortable under the piercing gaze of those silver eyes, "But!" he paused, "Draco is also lost", he tried to smile, knowing full well that when Narcissa came home that he'll get the ass whooping of his life. And with the present glare of Sirius Black, Lucius very much knew that he'd have two ass whooping in the one week...

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Shame. It's all Severus could feel. Here he was, sitting in a feminine body (Oh the shame!) with his most hated enemy, Potter's masculine arm draped over his chest.

"Potter... you can release me now"

James looked down at 'Verna's' thin face and grinned, "Sure babes", shifting his arm to around her waist.

"Not what I meant asshole", Severus rolled away from James, scoffing when he rolled right off and hit the floor.

"Shit! You okay?" James leaned over the bed.

Severus stood in all naked glory and went to gather the clothes that lay in a soft pile in the corner. Slipping on the dress and heels, Severus got up to leave.

"Wait! You're leaving?" James asked, "I thought we were having a good time?"

"Yes. We HAD a good time, but that's the past and I would now like to carry on with my future and go home" and he turned and left, slamming the hotel door behind him.

With a harsh sigh, Severus strode out of the hotel and hurried into a near by alley and apperited home. Sprinting to his bedroom, Severus prayed that Black wouldn't see him in such a state. Swiftly, Snape stripped off and pulled out his wand, uttering the reversal spell. He watched and groaned as his body changed from the feminine physique to the masculine shape he far more favoured. Staring at his very missed penis, Severus smiled from ear to ear but then frowned, didn't he have underwear? Did, did he leave his underwear -his... thong- with Potter?

Oh, that shameful day.

Snape put his head in his hands and plopped on the toilet seat, groaning all the while. Why did he have to sleep with Potter? It was just like he was asking for Potter to walk into his life and fuck everything up. And he was just adding to the list of men he fucks on a regular basis!

How desperate is he that he had to turn into a woman just to have sex! Sirius was just down the hall from him! He was the hottest guy he knew, and probably ever will know! What was wrong with him? Black and Lupin were both practically chasing after him!

"Fuckkkkkkk"