Not in my Job Description

Plans are Pointless, especially with 3 needy men

Some days, things just don't go as planned. And for Severus Snape, such a phenomenon was all too familiar in his everyday life. One could say that this was due to the young wizard who was now Severus' ward, Harry Potter. A sweet, dark haired boy with a heart of gold.

Children are unpredictable, loveable and completely and utterly hellish. Harry was a perfect example of this.

Severus stood stalwart in the centre of the kitchen door-way, his arms tightly crossed with his long pale fingers pressed into the black fabric of his sleeves, the stark contrast allowed Sirius to obtusely observe the frustration that planted Severus' body so tensely to the ground. 

The creature that had dramatically changed Severus' peacefully content mood happened to be screaming and bawling at the top of his lungs, slamming his tiny little fists dramatically against an unwilling Sirius, who was unfortunately in the position of carrying him just before his tantrum had begun and to his misfortune, wouldn't let go off his neck.

A grimace - much like the one Severus usually possessed - had become a prominent feature on Sirius' once charmingly attractive face, this could be down to the screaming toddler next to his ear. Nevertheless, it was unbefitting expression for a Ladies man (Mans man) such as himself. 

How was he supposed to get Severus to fuck him again when he didn't look his absolute best?! It had been nearly over a week since their last sexual encounter. Ever since he went out for the night he hadn't been the same... maybe it was Harry. Toddlers really dampen the mood, especially when they're just a few doors away from your room. It could be time for another sleepover, this time at the Weasley's.

"Harry! Stop this ridiculous tantrum at once! It's very unbecoming. You can have apple slices just not the toffees" Severus could feel his voice straining as he tried to reason with the infant.

"Nooooo! I want the sweeties!!!!" Harry screamed in response.

"For Merlins sake Harry! It's nearly dinner time, I'm not having you ruin your appetite before an essential meal, you are more than welcome to them AFTER dinner. Okay" his ever present frown pushed deeper into his face.

Harry was placed on the floor, still holding onto Sirius' shoulder, stubbornly rebelling from Sirius' and Severus' wishes. 

"But I want them now! Daddy tell him!" Harry screamed at Sirius. The two men were shocked. Did Harry think? No. Surely not. Severus was horrified. Maybe he heard wrong, he was getting older. 

Sirius' eyes met Severus'. What was previously a miserable frown on Sirius' face, was now a happy smile that stretched wide. Severus tried to make silent contact with him - Do not lean into this, you are not his father - but as always, Sirius always worked against what he wanted. 

Harry detached himself from Sirius' shoulder to look him in the eyes, "Don't worry Harry, Daddy will handle this. Go to the other room with your toys and Daddy and I will have a talk" Sirius said to the young lad. 

Harry waddled out the kitchen.

Once Severus was sure he was out of ear range, he lost it.

"Black what the fuck was that?" he shouted.

Sirius smirked and leaned against the kitchen counter. "Cmon Sev, it's healthy for the boy to have two parents".

"This whole situation is not healthy, we don't need to keep feeding into his fantasy and don't fucking call me that" Severus exclaimed, his hands wildly flailing in frustration. 

"Sev, he's just a kid, let him play make believe, it's not going to hurt him".

And just then, Severus released the life he would be giving Harry. A child of his first love and worst enemy and bully. A child who suffered his short life with cruel unfeeling selfishness by his own relatives. Who he was accidentally raising with his second worst enemy and bully. Who like him, was definently an outlaw. 

His life was a mess and soon Harry's life will be the same. This safe-house, the bubble Lucius had created for them wouldn't last forever. He'd have to go to school and make friends and experience life without his 'Dad' changing his gender just to not be recognised in public and his other 'Dad' transforming into a dog just to leave the house. It wasn't right. 

Not to even mention Severus' supposed love-life... Sex-life. Remus. Sirius. Oh fuck James fucking Potter.  Harry's real father. And when he find's out Severus has him, he's going to stop at nothing to take Harry away from him. But maybe it would be for the best. 

Harry would be happier with James. 

"Snape" Sirius said with complete seriousness, "It's just a toffee Harry wants. It's not that big of a deal, why are you so sour about this".

Severus found himself about to explode and then he saw Harry's large green eyes staring at him from the doorway. He let out a sigh and moved across the kitchen to take out the vegetables from the fridge, working around around Sirius who leaned upon the island.

"You can't avoid this. Harry is a kid who is happy he has two Dad's in his life. I know there's more going on here. You've been weird since last week, either tell me what's going on or get your act together". 

He started dice the carrots in silence. Sirius huffed in frustration. 

"What happened last week Severus" .

Severus raised a brow, Black never called him by his name. He motioned subtly to Harry listening in at the doorway. 

"Whatever happened Snape, I will find out. You can't hide this from me. We live together. Like it or not, we basically have a son together".

"Merlin's sake Black, nothing is wrong. Drop it" Severus groaned, "If you insist on staying in the kitchen at least help".

Sirius grunted in agreement and walked over to Harry, ruffling his hair, "in you get kiddo". Harry waddled back into the kitchen. His hands making grabbing motions at his Batman who rolled his eyes and placed him on the plush chair at the island, placing a plushies in his pudgy hands. 

"What do you want me to do" Sirius asked. 

"Pasta needs boiling". And Sirius shifted around the kitchen to get the pasta and boil the water whilst Severus continued with the vegetables.