Mesmerizing

30: Dead Leaves

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Cold, it was really cold out here everything made no sense. Who am I and what am I doing with my life? Everything was falling apart and meeting him was what actually brought me to life. It made me happier, lighter.

     The taste of freedom devoted me. The air the calls, the laughs the time I spent with him everything he did changed me to a person I really longed to see. I am now a better version of me.

I love you Taehyung.

"Why did you do that Tae? You have been always trying to teach me not to run away" my eyes were blury and I was so tired however, the rush of happiness and adrenaline in my veins never allowed my eye lids to close. I couldn't believe that I can be with him, I couldn't believe that he surrendered to his inner voice that led him here. But that never stopped my rage and anger.

"You know me well, you know how stubborn I am. But all of that couldn't stop me from being here, I fought myself every night it was as if my brain was melting."  he let out a long breath and looked away with minutes of silence and turned back to face me. "It was never your long messages that made me surrender rena, it was me. I surrendered to myself. I surrendered to my love towards you." he gave a small raise of eyebrows with shimmering eyes.

He relaxed himself on the couch "Go sleep  Rena, I will sleep here tonight" he smirked but I didnt smile or laugh, I was in fact afraid.

What if he leaves again? 

What if I wake up and he isn't there, no no what if that is just a dream? 

How can this be?

I cleared my throat "I- can't" 
He opened an eye then pulled his head up and kept staring at me.

"Y-you won't leave?"

"I wont believe me, trust me aki I won't" he kept assuring me but I was hesitant to believe him.

"Taehyung you must answer me honestly for this question" my voice was shaky but serious.

"Ask aki I really need to sleep , jetlag is killing me"

"Are you real?"  I asked simply and he burst out laughing, "and that's your way for making sure by asking?" he still kept laughing which annoyed me I still haven't said anything to him,  I want to punch him in the damn face.

"No I do have a way" I said and pinched his arm until his skin turned red between my fingers, it felt like his skin would shatter in my fingers from how I pressed. He of course kept on screaming until I let go with bear face.

"Okay atleast you are real"
I stood up and was heading to my room.

"Good night aki"

"My name is rena"

"What?" 

I turned back and looked at him.  "Dont talk to me"

"Are you afraid to face me Rena? That's it that's how it is?" he smirked and stood up to approach me but I  was pissed so i stepped back.

"Rena are you afraid of me?" he gave worried ugly  experssions " Don't worry I won't shoot you" he continued sarcastically.

"Shoot me?" and now I was really angry "You are really- you know what I cant even tell you anything you are selfish, you left me all these months and never bothered to reply. You thought 'oh I can know everything about her from hoseok, oh that's better for her, I cut everything with her'. You maniac, I hate you, you thought I loved you and trusted you? No I didn't"  I let it all out.

"Then why are you so angry"

"Why am I so angry?  You have the audacity to ask me that" I took my breath and started screaming " because I did fucking trust you, I never thought you would ever leave me, I never thought you'd give up on me, I never thought that all of this would happen to me and you're not fucking here with me but you are there arguing with yourself whether to come here or not because you think that is better for me, that's because you didn't think that actually talking with me would be a better option you know why Tae cause you are the coward not me. You know what else I fucking loved you, I do I still do but why dont I give myself a chance and marry let's say scott for exqmple because he aint the coward you are" I kept inhaling the air as if it was my last to catch.

Well that was a relif and ps, I didn't mean the last part but I had too.

"Scott?" his eyebrows were raised

"Yeah he even asked me to give him a chance"  I said with evil eyes

"You even gave him the chance to tell you this" he was angry I know, he gave no expressions but he was really pissed.

"Why don't I?"

"Because you should be waiting for the man who loves you not for the scumbag who stalks you Rena" he shouted while walking around the room

"Stalk me? Wait a minute what do you mean"

"You think I dont know he stopped you? You think I dont know what he does and who he is? You think you would be living in another damn country in another continent without me knowing everything about you?"

"Dude you are the one stalking me you freek"

"Rena shut the hell up and go to sleep or I swear-"

"You swaer what Tae oh cowerd Tae, you can't even complete the sentence" he gave me a look that actually felt like knives on me.

"Go to sleep now" he pushed me inside my room and went to sit on the couch with his leg going up and down in fury. He is angry.

Hold on it was my turn to vent, I was the one angry and screaming. Damn it Tae always turning freaking tables.