Mesmerizing

12: Once

"The girl you love" I asked as I sat on the table swinging my legs back and fore waiting for the answers I have been waiting to hear. Why do I even want to listen? Is it because his voice calms the storms inside me a lot? Or is it because he was one of the mysteries in my life and I am finally claiming my chance to approach? Or is it because I want to distract myself from my miserable clueless life? Or even worse, is it because I started to care?

"The girl I love?" he replied and a smile started to form on his lips.

"Why do you want to hear that? Aki"

"Because I never actually knew the real meaning behind it, I think I never experienced it before I only hear of it"

"Hmm, well, To start with the right use of words, she is so beautiful, whatever she does, tie her hair up, or keep it lying on her shoulders. She is really smart. Her scent is really captivating too; not only her scent but her eyes too. They hold lots of stories and warmth. Sometimes she acts like a fool and leaves me clueless. Other times it's not like I can even think of leaving her side" He starts talking with a smile that never left his lips since he started recalling every single memory about her in order to describe her. His eyes kept shining as he kept on talking about her, though his cheeks were getting flustered and he tried not to sound so obsessed with her.

He sighed "but she makes me laugh, she makes me happy"

Lucky her.

"Does she know?"

"No, I can't tell her"

"Why Taehyung? What about the word regret that we were just talking about?"

"She might leave me"

"Why would a sane person do that? If she listened to the way you talk about her she will never leave"

"If she- if she gets to know me more I will end up losing her even as a friend and I can't accept that" he said leaving me in a bit of shock at his words.

I don't understand the word 'Love' but hearing him talking like that maybe that is the meaning of the pure true love. I don't know but it kind of annoys me that he is staying still when we promised each other to claim the chances and here he is flying them.

However he is totally wrong, he is the purest human being I have ever met. He is simply flowing like water, peacefully. How can he think of that? But don't we all have that dark side that we refuse to show, that we prefer to keep in the dark cold shallows away from the eyes of our beloved ones? To always make sure that they see us in our best form and shape, to always make sure that we never disappoint them. But how is that supposed to mean love, when we keep part of our selves hidden? When if that hidden part comes out to light may turn all the tables and turn love into hatred and purity into misery? Will we still be caring about the ones we love then, or will we finally feel the best to live fully under the light?

"Then go to her, at least spend your time with her if you care that much" I said pushing him out of the kitchen with all my might but he refused to move an inch.

"She isn't around for a while"

"Oh!"

"Enough about me today Aki let's talk about you" but what is the use of knowing me more?

"I already said almost everything before"

"Rena"

"Hmm"

"Will you stay longer?"

"Who said I am leaving?" I asked with a bit of loss. Just like all my thoughts knitted into each other causing a mess. Why is he always asking if I will leave? It was once and I am never doing it again.

He kept looking at me for a longer while "I trust you" were the only words he said.

"I do too" I replied.

"Let's set a deal then"

"Enough with the deals I am so done right now"

"Don't be a cowered and remember our promise, call Hoseok hyung and tell him you are ready to sign your contract"

"What?"

"You thought you were going to do this as a favor?" he said in a totally different tone. A leading one. A captivating magical one.

"What do I get in return?" I asked since Taehyung's deals are already on the moment they are formed in his head, he never backs out, he never let me back out.

"I will do whatever you ask me"

I kept quiet for a while and that made me start thinking whether should I let go or should I not? I mean by what I am going to ask from him our friendship will be affected a bit, and he won't be here every day. Remember Rena the deal was always to lift him up, not to take his hands and pull him down.

Let me do it. Let me do it for him.

"Fine. Then you try to get to know her well, I mean spend more time maybe you will find out that she cares as well"

"You got it the moment you call Hoseok hyung" and I did as I was told.

"    "Hoseokii"

      "Getting up early these days I see Ren"

      "Taehyung is here"

      "Oh that's why" he laughed a bit

      "Hoseok is the offer still available?"

      "What offer?"

      "The one Namjoon offered, the job"

      "Are you really going to do it?" he asked and his voice started to become louder and louder.

     "I guess"

     "OH MY GOD FOR REAL? JUST COME ANYTIME TOMORROW, I WILL COME PICK YOU UP, I WILL TAKE CARE OF IT DON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING"

     "Fine then, call me when you go home"

      "Okay, later" " and he hung up.

"My part is all done" I said sitting back on the chair. "Your turn now"

"I told you she isn't around for a while."

I kept glaring at him "I will trust your words"

We sat quite for a longer while until I broke the silence "I should meet Lana right?"

"Yes of course you should."

"I mean of course I will but I am just worried a bit"

"Why?"

"Because I don't know her and I don't know, I have my own insecurities as well concerning being surrounded with people and you know that well"

"We can make it easier and ask Hoseok hyung to make you both meet in a calm place even though I know he already would do that"

"But what will we talk about? Teach me how we make friends again"

"Just the same as you are doing right now with me, besides I think Hoseok hyung will be the main topic of your meeting."

"You think it will be that easy?"

"Easier than anything else"

But I don't want to make new friends I just wanted to be friends with you.