Mesmerizing

17: Uncertainty

Kindly listen to this beautiful cover while reading.

Enjoy!!

                                                                        Taehyung

I maintained to stay without her for the past week even though I couldn't sleep, even though the idea of parting myself away from her killed me. Time never passed this slowly before. I tried to adapt to her absence since I avoided her at work and switched off my cell phone to prevent myself from texting her.

My hands betrayed me, and I allowed my thoughts that were killing each piece of my heart to draw her, to trace her beautiful face with my pencil. I hanged it on the wall in front of my bed; jungkook never teased me about it since he knew what it meant for me. In matter of a fact they all knew what Rena meant for me thus they never mentioned the drawing.

That day she called for help I don't know why I opened my cell phone in the first place but I had a feeling that I should do so, and thank God I did. When she called I threw my cell phone to jungkook gesturing him to take it and he did, but he opened the speaker.

As soon as I heard her call for help I ran to save her, I was so nervous not to arrive in time. She acts tough but she is like glass always on the verge of breaking if you pressed for too long.

"Telling her nobody can hurt you" was far the truest thing I have ever said, but the lie lay in the truth itself because I can be the reason for her torture in the end.

Funny how the only way I can save her is only through passing the same way I am pushing her away from.

Hiding again in my room away from any contact with her, 'Go Rena, don't make me drown in your love more I have to protect you' I thought, but thinking of her cut me again deep in my heart. Pushing the glass of water on the ground to hear just the sound of shattering pieces followed by silence even for several seconds. I crave the silence in my head more than anything now. That is how it goes on anyways. I need silence since I can't have her. Throwing myself on the ground to pick up the pieces but eneded up cutting myself.

However out of all the moments I had thinking of her wishing her to be in front of me just to look in her eyes, she chooses now to come. I heard her sweet voice asking to come in but I never responded, my heart stopped knowing that they will tell her to enter, that they will tell her to come in and help. The moment she entered looking at me with great shock and worst of all fear.

"No it's not what you think" I said

She gulped "And what do you think my thoughts are?"

"I am not hurting myself, I want to stay with you" I replied waiting for her to tell me that it's a lie and start telling me reasons I should stay. But she didn't. she stayed totally calm and stepped forward towards me "Promise" she said with tears filing her eyes and crack in her voice showing her pinky finger towards me "Cause I want to stay with you too"

My eyes widened at her response where she was still waiting eagerly for me to lock her promise. I inhaled a deep breath "Promise" I let a small smile form on my face just to prevent her tear from falling.

She started cleaning my wound and placing bandages over it with her hands being cold as ice.

"Why were you avoiding me Tae?" she asked

"Uncertainties" I replied

"From me?" she tilted her head in confusion

"No, with my own self" I sighed.

Can I tell her I love her?

"Taehyung, tell me more, speak to me" she said holding my hands after we both sat down on the bed. Looking in my eyes telling me that she will stay forever whatever I tell her, but no that can't be true.