My Saviour

11

TW's this chapter:
-Anxiety
-Self harm (wounds)
-Depression

It was around 2 pm when I finally fell asleep. I panicked for over 2 hours and was so exhausted that I fell asleep.

TW SELF HARM WOUNDS (Skip to TW OVER if you get easily triggered when wounds from self harm are mentioned).

The next morning I woke up a little later. I was still exhausted. I saw big red wounds on my arms and it made me realise what happened. Even though I hated myself so extremely much, I still decided to follow Dreams advice. I walked downstairs to the kitchen and wanted to prepare some breakfast.

'Hey, George.'

I screamed and jumped away. 'Dream, what the heck.'

'Sorry, I was waiting for you. You forgot to lock the door. Oh my goodness, what happened to your arms?'

'Oh shit, I'm going to shower, I guess.'

'You're a bad lair. What happened?'

'Nothing much.'

'Nothing much? You're whole arms are full of wounds?'

'Just panic attack.'

'You done this to yourself? George?' Tears filled his eyes. He grabbed my hands and looked at my arms. 'What the heck, George. Why?'

'I thought I was dying.'

'Why haven't you called me? Why have you self harmed? Why are your arms blue too? GEORGE.'

'Nothing, don't worry about it.'

'George, don't lie now. I'm literally going to cry.'

'Okay, I hit myself, listen. I didn't know what I was doing. It's fine. It'll fade soon.'

'Was it me?'

'No,' I said quickly and I walked away. I put on a hoodie and came back downstairs.

'Can I hug you?' Dream asked.

I nodded. 'Please.'

TW OVER

We ate breakfast together and Dream stayed with me the whole day. We hadn't done much, we just discussed plans for recording a video together. It was after dinner when Dream left. I was sad again that he left me alone. I was afraid he'd leave me. I needed to forget it, but I couldn't. I just went back to bed again, crying myself to sleep. Just like I had always done.

The next few days all were the same. I chilled with Dream, we went to the supermarket together, we ate together. We basically did everything together, which made me so scared. It killed me inside, but I had to accept it. I had to accept that I'd never get rid of these anxious feelings. I had to accept we would never talk about it.

'Georgie? Are you still on earth?'

I startled. 'Oh, yes. What is wrong?'

'I was talking about recording the video. I mean I can go back home and record it and invite you over to edit the video? But I understand if that's too difficult for you, so I can send you the footage and edit it here. I'll buy you an edit programme.'

'Do you live with someone?'

'No.' He smiled. 'I live alone.'

'Is no one visiting you randomly?'

'I can't tell, but the change isn't extremely high. You know what, we just edit it here.'

'I want to see your place once.'

'Alright, let's record the video and you come to me. We are sitting upstairs so if someone comes in, you can easily hide or just stay upstairs.'

I nodded. 'Thanks.'

'Okay, I'll go home and record the video with you and I'll pick you up when we are done.'

'Okay.'

Dream left and drove back home. I was waiting for his call and anxiously looked at my hands. What if he didn't call me and just left me alone like this? What if he would never contact me again after this? I startled when Dream called me.

'Hey, Georgie. Are you ready?'

'Sorry, if I'm stupid or quiet.'

'I can say in the beginning of the video that you have to get used a little and that that's why you're a little quieter. My audience is really nice, they will definitely understand.'

'Okay.'

We started recording with my plugin. We had to beat Minecraft, but we only had half a heart. Since Dream was a speedrunner, he just helped me in beating it as fast as possible.

'Come on, George, this way.'

'Yeah.'

When we got back from the Nether, Dream decided to hit a pigman.

'Nooo, Dream. Why would you do that?'

I quickly build a tower, but a ghast shoot me off. I fell onto the ground and died.

'Dream,' I screamed.

Dream started wheezing harder than I ever heard him do. I was ashamed of my high pitched scream, everyone was going to suspect I was gay.

'You're such an idiot,' I yelled. 'Why would you do that, you made me nervous.'

'I made you nervous?' Dream grinned through his words.

'Shut up.'

'Fine, I think most of your stuff didn't burn.'

We walked back and picked up my stuff.

'The blazerods did, you're so dumb.'

Dream wheezed even harder and it sounded like he was chocking. He started coughing loudly. 'You're so funny.' He seemed to be dying from laughter.

'I haven't even done anything, you just hit that stupid pigman, why? So dumb, now we can go back.'

Dream only wheezed harder. 'Stop, we have to take a break, I'm dying.'

'Dream, you're so dumb.'

'You're so amazing.'

'What?'

'I didn't mean to say that, but it's true.'

'Thanks,' I said shyly.

'You're cute, come on. Let's continue.'

I was too flustered to really continue. I died a few times, but Dream could just laugh about it. We ended recording about two hours later. I was tired, but I had laughed and I was pretty happy.

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