Toxicity (Spencer Reid X Reader)

16

You aren't completely unconscious, things are so fuzzy that you can barely hear or see anything.

You feel the bathroom door slam against your leg, you don't feel any pain from this. You can barely see but you feel a hand on the back of your head. You assume Spencer there, he's yelling your name.

Why is Spencer here?

You feel his hand hold your, "if you can hear me right now, squeeze my hand." Your hands and arms felt heavy, too heavy to squeeze his hand.

You feel yourself fall gently back onto the bathroom door, you're eyes are barely open.

Your hearing and sight keeps going in and out. You see Spencer looking over at you while holding a phone up to his ear.

You eventually give in and fall completely unconscious

You wake up in a hospital bed with an IV hooked up to you. You have cold sweats and you can't stop shaking. You open your eyes and look over to Spencer.

Spencer gets up and touches your hand, "what did you do? Why did you do that?"

"I didn't mean to."

Spencer hugs you and you can't seem to find comfort in it, you weren't happy.

"Why were you in the apartment?"

"I got a bad feeling."

"Oh," you look down at your hands that are on each side of your body. You have the biggest cloud of sadness over your head this time.

Every time you look at Spencer, you see what he's done. You see the pain he has caused you.

You just want to get out of this fucking hotel room.

The doctor walks in shortly after you wake up, "Y/N I can't see a reason to hold you any longer. You might experience withdrawal. However, if you would like to admit yourself voluntarily into a rehab or psychiatric facility, you are free to do so."

"No, thank you."

"Okay," the doctor gives you discharge papers and you sign them, he takes them, "you are free to do."

The doctor walks out and you get up from the bed, you unfold your pant that were sitting on the edge of the bed and slip them on under your gown.

You pull the string to untie the grown and slip on the shirt on.

You slip on your socks and shoes then walk out without saying a word to Spencer, he follows you.

"Baby, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"You're not acting good."

"Yeah, its called withdrawal."

"We should call or you should talk to someone about your relapsing."

"No, I'm good."

"Suit yourself."

You walk all the way back to apartment, silent. As you get into the apartment you allow Spencer to walk in front of you. You slam the door behind you and slump down on the couch.

Spencer tries to sit beside you and tries to put his hand on your cheek but you turn your head and reject him.

"Baby?" his eyebrows burrow he says that, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, tell me."

You look over at Spencer and try your best not to release a tear from your eyes but it starts.

"You."

"Me? What about me?"

Your bottom lip quivers as you try to not to cry through your words, "You! I can't do this anymore! I can't live like this anymore," your voice cracks.

"Baby, calm down."

"CALM DOWN? YOU TOLD ME YOU HOPED JAMES ACTUALLY RAPED ME AND THAT YOU WERE GLAD MY MOM DIED! YOU HIT ME! YOU HURT ME!" you flare your arms around as you scream at him.

Spencer goes quiet.

"I can't," you break down.

"Y/n, I-" he reaches his hand out for you.

"No, not this time!" you go and walk out the door, slamming it. You fall to the ground as you cry harder than you ever have before..

You are hurting so bad.