The simplicity of "I love you"

Chapter 16- Just a little ill

TW: throwing up, depressing subjects

Mars POV

Amber had finally moved all her stuff into the room, it looked lovely, the walls had an ombré affect of navy blue to a midnight blue, she had painted over the flowers with a city and stars, it looked beautiful. I looked over at her, paintbrush in hand and admiring Her own work, with bits of paint flecked in her face and hands, just like her... I can't fight that thought anymore, but I had to keep it buried deep down in MY thoughts and never tell anyone, and that's how it will always be.

I had finished my room as well, I had painted it half white and half black and had plastered many Unus Annus reminders everywhere along with some very grungy decor, but it was not even as good as her... hers! Stop doing that!

"You like it?" She turns to me, she was smiling so much
"Why wouldn't I!" I say pretending I was looking at the walls and not her, it truly was amazing
"I'm glad you like it..." she looked distant for a second but then snapped back into reality and looked away from me again. My stomach rumbled loudly, calling to me saying you haven't fed me in awhileeeeee!
"Wanna make some food?" I ask
"Ye of course..." she didn't look at me but after awhile she suddenly started to go downstairs.

We decided that halloumi bites and chips would do us. Amber started to cut the potatoes and I started to batter the halloumi. Once we had finished we sat in the living room and slouched on the sofa watching late night shows, but I couldn't help but notice that Amber hardly touched her food, there is a thing called not being hungry Mars... Amber walked out and put her still full plate away and said
"Im just going toilet I'll be right back" and walked up the stairs.

Two, three, four minutes went by, is she okay? I should check up on her. I creeped up the stair quietly, just incase she had gone to bed, I thought that until I heard small muffled noises coming from the bathroom, it didn't sound right, it sounded like gagging or being choked, I pressed my ear to the door and the sound became much more clear, she was throwing up!
"You okay in there!?" I knock frantically, I'm such a fool for not checking on her... but throwing up didn't take that long... and if she was ill she knows she can just call me to get her something..? After som time a muffled noise came from the other side of the door
"Ye I'm fine" there was a flush and the sound of running water for a couple seconds and then the door opened up slowly.
"Are you sure? You sounded really sick?!" I was slightly panicked, why didn't she say she was ill?
"I'm sure" she sounded agitated, but not sick
"I'm just ill"
"Then why didn't you tell me, I could have got you into bed and got a bowl and gave you medicine and read to you?" A small smile flashed across her face but only for a second
"I didn't want to bother you..." she sounded guilty, what was she keeping from me?
"Why are you lying to me?" I could tell when she lies
"I...I'm not..."
"You are I can tell, what's wrong?"
"It's okay..." she tried to pass me but I grabbed her shoulder and looked at her, wait a minute... no, that can't be right.
"Please just tell me what up?" I pull her slightly closer to me, not so it was romantic but so she knew I was serious
"I-" she seemed flustered at what I had just done and for a spit second I thought she moved closer, no that's wouldn't happen I'm just seeing things,
"I'm not ill, I just-" her eyes welled slightly
"I just hate how I look" she spluttered, tears started to run down her cheeks like rain on a window, she pulled me into a tight hug and continued in a sobbing whisper,
"I think I'm to fat for anyone to love me, so I don't eats and I- I throw up so I become thinner... and- and I know it's wrong but I can't help it" she sobbed hard into my shoulder and gave way in her legs, I was practically carrying her, but I didn't care. I held her close and shushed her cries, this, this can't be happening, she's perfect... why would she think this? I need to help her, no matter what!

I picked her up and headed into my room and put her into my bed and I got into it with her, she held onto me tightly, she had stopped crying but her eyes were puffy and red,
"So, we need to make sure you are getting help for this and I know it's going to be tricky to open up but this can't go on, your perfect the way you are" the word perfect fell out my mouth, but she didn't seem to notice, gladly.
"And I will be there for you and we can go to the gym or go on diets if it makes you feel better, just not... this" I continue
"We could maybe go on walks daily?" She sniffed looking at me
"Of course! I love our walks and if you like we can walk and run, anything that makes you feel better!" I look at her, her eyes were more hopeful now
"Thank you" she whispers as she snuggles closer to me and with that, we both fell asleep.