The simplicity of "I love you"

Chapter 4- The necklace

TW: homophobia, dead naming, abuse, depressing topics

Mars POV

What is considered "happy"? Is it being positive? Is it smiling? Or is it simply being able to cope? To cope with everything that happens, every little thing that has got in the way of you to jut set it aside and keep going, not actually putting a positive spin on it but just living with it, with no complain or sadness. Often some mix up mental health and physical health, and most will think that is silly, that mental and physical have nothing to do with each other, but in fact when that person sees or hears something they might get goosebumps or sweat or become hot or cold, that is mental and physical combining, as when you hear a song and it sounds good, you may get goosebumps at certain bits of the song, my point being that we as people hardly know anything about ourselves or the world, but when you look at that statement, that 'we as people hardly know anything about ourselves' you may think then why are we trying to look in other places for this, like the moon or space, we have spent a lot of money and time into space research that we could have spent on finding out about humans! But if that isn't your thought process then don't worry, that doesn't change anything about you, at all.

Slowly I reached for the stop button on my voice memo app, yes I record my thoughts, it helps because no one else will listen to them.

Suddenly I heard the all to familiar sound of the door being opened violently by one of my brothers,
"I told you, you have to open the door calmly or else it's gonna come off it's hinges!" I say turning to see my brother, Aron, looking at me in a devilish way
"Mum wants you!" He says quickly, ignoring what I just said
"What for?" I say back, knowing exactly what she wanted me for
"I don't know, all I know is she and dad sound MAD!" I swear, my brother is a psychopath, he loves when I get the blame or I get hurt, but if he gets hurt and I act how he acts I get slapped and punched and bruised, nothing new but it still doesn't make sense.

I get up off my bed and walk along with my brother who is bolting in front of me trying to make me walk faster, that's not going to work, I know what's going to happen to me so I will take my sweet time trying to get to that thing.
"Where is that girl!" I heard mum scream
"Daisy HURRY UP!"
Daisy, that word rang in my ears and tasted sour in my mouth, Daisy, they were intentionally dead naming me, they didn't believe in being gay or anything like that, I was completely discriminated against in this family, anything I did or said was wrong because I was bi, every opinion I have was irrelevant to them, I try to get them to understand but they refuse to listen.

"There you are!" My mum says looking at me, her eyes dug into me like claws,
"What took you so long? Huh?" She asked still not taking her gaze off me
Before I could answer she said "who cares about your opinion, you know exactly why your here" I did know why I was here, but I did not want to admit it, so I played dumb, like I always do,
"Why do I know why I'm here? You called me down for no reason?" I said loudly, maybe to loudly for my family's liking
"Don't use that tone with US young LADY!" Dad said clenching his fists as he approached me,
"We went through this I'm not young and I'm not a girl!" I say back without thinking,
"I'm 18 and the only reason I'm not out of here is because YOU WONT LET ME GET A JOB!" I was angry now, I wasn't thinking at all, I was speaking my mind and my family didn't like that, not at all
"what did you just say?!" Mum said menacingly it was only a whisper, which made it all the more terrifying. They were close to me now, clenching there fists and staring straight at me, it felt like they were cutting into my skin with knives, piercing my skin with the dark, black emptiness of there pupils.

Dad suddenly pushed me into a wall, slamming all his weight into me so my back cracked as it hit the wall, he kicked me and punched my face, I collapsed to the floor with blood tricking from the corner of my mouth and nose, slamming my head into his knee multiple times making the bleeding worse,
"Why are you hear!" I heard my mum ask, or was it mum, I was so dazed that i didn't know, it didn't really matter
"I don't know!" I shouted back, still determined that I could somehow win this fight.Mum pulled me up of the floor and punched at my ribs and arms making them pulse with pain
"Why are you HERE!" They yelled again,
"I don't....I don't know" I mumbled, unable to talk, they both grabbed at my hair and slammed it into a near my table, one, two, three, four...
"WHY ARE YOU HERE!" They yelled into my ears, my head was filled with white noise but somehow the bad things all filtered through it,
"Because....because I miss placed... mums old.... necklace" I said, I had given up, just like all the other times, the dropped me to the floor and the blood pooled around me
"Clean it up the go to your room" mum said as her and dad left the room, both my brothers hanging back for a second or two just to laugh at me and then, just like my parents, leave the room, leaving me all alone, again.