Can This Be Real?

Chapter 15: A New Year

Staring out to the crystal blue waters of St. Barts, my mind takes me back to Big Sur and capturing an amazing photo of Bethany standing in the infinity edged jacuzzi with her back to me as she looked at the setting sun over the Pacific Ocean.

Flashback

She turns to face me after she hears the camera click to take a picture, “Babe, you and your candid shots of me. Someone is a little obsessed with his new toy… or maybe you’re obsessed with me.” She raises her eyebrows with confidence thinking she knows my answer.

I reply, “It’s definitely… the camera.” I laugh as she gives me a pouty face but hurries over to take a look at the picture I just took.

“Oh, I love how the sun just glares off of the water and the sky with the clouds looks like a painting,” she says as she pushes me to the other side, “get over there so I can get a picture of you before we lose the sun.”

After she takes the picture, I make my way over to her and place the camera down on the chair behind her. We both walk to the edge of the jacuzzi to watch the sunset. I stood there with my arms wrapped around Bethany just in complete awe. The sunset was absolutely unbelievable with the clouds below us and the sky and the ocean both reflecting the red-orange hues from the sun. It had to be one of the most legendary sunsets I have ever seen and one of the most memorable moments for me in my life, especially being able to experience it with Bethany. Uh… there are just no words.

As the sun disappeared into the ocean in the distance, Bethany turned to me. Without saying a word, we just stood there for a couple of minutes just taking it all in. She finally says, “I just want to make sure I engrain this very moment in my head so I will never forget.”

We both knew that when I take her home tomorrow and I leave for Utah, things aren’t going to come as easy for us as it has been in the last week or so. With spending the holidays apart and my impending move to New York, the distance and both of our hectic schedules are definitely going to make things hard for us.

I feel her wrap her legs around me and pull me into a tight embrace. I lower the both of us into the water so that bodies are completely submerged up until our necks. I whisper into her ear, “we’ll just take things day by day, right?”

She whispers back, “yea, day by day.”

I continue, “Soon the days will pass and we’ll find some time off. I’ll fly out to you or we can meet in New York. We’ll work this out.” I move my head back to look her in the eye, “The timing may suck. The distance will suck but we’re…”

She continues, “… endgame.” 

“Exactly,” it was if she read my mind, “In the end, through it all, it will be us. Baby, have faith in that, trust in us.” Staring deep into her eyes, I confess, “I love you. I am soooo in love with you.”

Stunned, she looks at me and begins to say, “Derek… I…”

“Baby, wait…” I interrupt her and say, “I want the first time that you say it to really mean it. I don’t want you to get caught up in the moment of saying it right now but then second guess everything when the next couple of months won’t allow us to fully be in love and in a real relationship. My intention of telling you how I feel is so that you know that I am completely in this. Hold onto that through these next months.”

“Know that I am in this too,” she says as she passionately kisses me. “Since you told me how you feel to hold me over for the next couple of months, let me show you how I feel. Hopefully, you’ll remember this for the next couple of months…”she says as she pulls me out of the jacuzzi. Both dripping wet, she leads me into the house, through the bedroom and into rainfall shower of the bathroom. She turns the shower on and the steam from the warm water fills room. She stands in front of me and slowly begins to untie her black string bikini. She looked absolutely stunning, I was speechless. She walks over to me and starts to untie the string of my trunks. I place my hand over hers to stop her and say, “Baby… don’t.”