Can This Be Real?

Chapter 9: The aftermath

Derek POV

I felt a jolt of pure pain spread across my chest as the tone and emotion of Bethany’s goodbye conveyed her honest intention of truth. It wasn’t a ‘see you later’ or ‘talk to you soon’… she said ‘goodbye.’ And she had meant it.

I threw my head back to stare at the ceiling in complete disbelief. I become aware of awkwardness of everyone still being in the room as I hear them gathering their things to leave. With pity in their eyes, they start to trickle out leaving me with my sister, Mark and her.

Completely bypassing Mark and my sister, I head straight towards Justene and ask to speak to her out in the balcony.

Still with disappointment and frustration, I try to calmly question, “Why are you here? I thought I made it clear before the season started that this, with us, wasn’t going anywhere. That we were done”

She answers, “ Baby, it was just the pressure of the show that put a pause on everything. But now that the show is over, there is nothing in our way. We can pick up where we left off. Come on, you can’t honestly turn me down…who’s out there better than me?”

I thought to myself and mumbled under my breath….. Bethany.

“Did you just say Bethany?!?!” she exclaimed. “She is a child. You can’t honestly think it will work out?”

Not feeling the need to explain myself to her, Justene scoffs at my unwillingness to explain and realizes, “Uh, you do. She couldn’t possibly give you what you want.” She steps forward to place her hand on my chest and continues, “or satisfy you the way that I do.” I step back and swipe her arm away. In disgust, she storms off walking into the house and to the door. She passes a more than amused Mark who smirks and sarcastically waves Justene goodbye... for good.

I let out a laugh in disbelief and couldn’t even wrap my mind around everything that has happened tonight. I yelled out a loud “Uhhh!” as I grabbed the railing of the balcony. Staring at this view, all I kept thinking about is the missed opportunity with Bethany. Did I fuck it all up?

I felt my sister’s arm wrap around my back. She kissed the side of my face and said, “Everything will fall back into place. Call me when you are ready to talk.” I nod and walk her to the door.

I turn to Mark and say, “Bro, before you say anything, I am just not in the mood to talk about it right now.”

He nodded in complete understanding and continued to clean up the mess left from the get together. As he was about to head out, he was reminded of something and said, “I completely forgot…Julie handed me a wrapped present to give to you but didn’t say who it was from. I put it up in your room. I’ll see you later, man.” He sighs and adds, “It’s not over for the two of you yet, just remember that. ”

I looked up the stairs thinking about what it could possibly be and said bye to Mark. I found my way to my room and saw the present on the bed with a card addressed to D. I opened the card to read:

            Babe,

You gave me the gift of fierceness and this new level of confidence. You don’t know how much it means to me. Couldn’t think of a better way to repay you except with the gift of inspiration. So I hope this not only reminds you of me but also helps you find inspiration again in the beauty of things around you.

                                                                         With love, B

Completely forgetting about the events of tonight, I excitedly opened the gift to find a professional camera. Gawd Bethany… of course she would remember the one time I mention my love for photography and how I missed it. She is always so thoughtful like that. I instinctively reach for my phone to call her but stopped when I flashback to seeing the look of sadness in her eyes when Justene came out to the balcony and to hearing her say goodbye. Gawd, how could I have messed this up.

I lie down on my bed and toss and turn trying to fall asleep. I just kept thinking that had to talk to her. I couldn’t wait another second to say thank you for the gift… to try to fix this…to just hear her say that she didn’t really mean goodbye. With disregard for the late hour or the fact that she is probably going to ignore my call, I still had to try. Not even knowing what I was going to say, I searched through my contacts and called Bethany. I held the phone to my ear and hear…ring… ring…. ring…