inseperable; jaeyong

twenty three

taeyong;

if doyoung didn't basically drag taeyong to johnny's door step, taeyong would not have been in the situation he was in.

he glanced back, his teeth clenching with anxiety as doyoung motioned him to knock on his door from the end of the holiday.

'i can't!' taeyong whispered loud enough for the hallways to echo.

'you have to!' doyoung whispered back harshly. 'i'm waiting down stairs!'

'no! no, don't leave me!'

but before taeyong could switch his heel to follow the boy, the front door of johnny's apartment room flew open, exposing a shirtless, hurried johnny. his gym towel was over his shoulder as he held a large water bottle in his hand.

'taeyong?' johnny squinted his eyes as if he was trying to figure out if it was really the said male or not. once he had finally confirmed that he was really present in front of his apartment room, his shoulders dropped, along with his eyes. 'you need something?'

the cold tone in his voice caused taeyong to shift uncomfortably, his fingers fiddling with one another as a lump in his throat formed, battling to spit out the words.

'taeyong, i'm going to the gym. if you're looking for any of your clothes you left, they're all inside the laundry basket in my room. make sure to lock the door.'

but instead, taeyong blocked the taller male from exiting his dorm, desperately syncing their gaze as johnny threw him a baffled look.

'johnny, can we talk?'

'about?'

'johnny...' taeyong dropped his eyes to his feet, his fists clenching and unclenching. 'i know it's been a really long time-,'

his sentence was interrupted by a loud, exaggerated sigh. taeyong lifted his eyes to protest, but instead, johnny stood clear of the door way, motioning him to enter. 'i've got time.'

hesitantly, taeyong urged himself to enter. for the first time in a long time, he felt his heart tingle at the smell of the area. he had seriously ached to smell his former companion's scent again, his brows curling upwards as he sat on the couch, the couch where a lot of action was once performed.

the tension lingered for a while once johnny had sat at the seat across from his, his back sinking into the seat as he stared at taeyong, awaiting the reason as to why he was present.

'h-how have you been?' taeyong started, instantly regretting it as his leg shook. johnny frowned at the movement, knowing very well that taeyong's anxiety levels were increasing. he urged himself not to help him calm himself.

'alright.' johnny replied, retracting his eyes from the male to decrease chances of taeyong being intimidated. 'you?'

'yeah.' taeyong's voice was too soft, almost a whisper as he cursed internally at himself.

at last, he cleared his throat, causing johnny to finally give him eye contact yet again.

'johnny, i know it was some time ago, but i seriously regret saying what i said that night.' taeyong began, his eyebrows furrowing as he forced his leg to halt. 'i didn't mean it at all and i know it seems that i'm saying this just to have you back, but it had been hurting me since.'

johnny once again sighed, lifting his hand up and resting it in his hair in thought. 'why didn't you say this earlier? i really thought you would at least try to call me or something.'

'i'm really sorry, johnny.' taeyong drew from the eye contact, praying for the tears to not form in his eyes. 'i was in an upsetting place.'

'was it about that person from a couple of months ago?'

'can i tell you something?' taeyong suddenly lifted his eyes.

at first, johnny was surprised at the intense gaze; taeyong was really not ok.

'yeah, uh, sure.'

and for the first time, taeyong opened up to johnny, spilling everything ever until there was nothing else to say. the more he told, the more johnny would recall certain moments, understanding every chapter of this book.

taeyong finally felt the burden lifting off of his shoulders as the tears willingly brimmed in his eyes, johnny moving seats and sitting beside him as taeyong shared.

when taeyong had finished, taeyong refused to meet johnny's eyes in fear of his love life sounding foolish, in fear of his feelings not being valid, in fear of losing him again.

instead, he felt the older's arms wrap around him, pulling his closer to his body and giving him a sense of security at last.

'taeyong, why didn't you tell me any of this earlier?' johnny rubbed his back.

'i'm sorry.' taeyong's voice cracked.

'but can i ask you a question?' johnny drew back, giving the boy a serious look. 'does that mean you have never had feelings for me?'

taeyong's breath hitched at the question.

'i liked you. but i never felt anything more than being attracted to you.' he responded honestly, hanging his head in shame. 'but i never meant to use you. i understand if you don't want to forgive me.'

johnny nodded his head slowly. 'i liked you too, taeyong. but i knew you weren't ready for anything official. besides, i always thought of our relationship as good friends with benefits. that's why i never went as far as asking you out. but, i didn't feel used.'

johnny lifted taeyong's chin, taeyong's eyes soft yet nervous.

'you aren't crazy.' johnny smiled gently.

'thank you,' taeyong half whispered, wrapping his arms around johnny's bare torso, his head digging into johnny's chest. 'i really missed you.'

'i missed you too.' johnny responded, resting his chin on top of taeyong's head.