The Art of Seduction

Chapter 11

Jake's POV

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! What the absolute fuck is wrong with me? I couldn't! I just couldn't be that close to her and not fucking touch her. I needed to feel her, to kiss her, to make her mine somehow. Jesus Christ, her fucking skimpy outfit showing off far too much of her body. But it hugged every part of her perfectly. Her soft skin, her tits fit perfectly in my hands, the sweet taste of her, how could I not bring my fingers to my mouth and taste what still lingered. She's like fucking crack and I'm her druggie. Now that I got a taste, I'll never fucking get enough of her. I'm completely addicted and helpless in her presence.

I kept tugging and fisting my hands through my hair thinking over and over again how I'm going to get through this class let alone the goddamn semester. If I didn't run out of there and not look back I would've made the situation even riskier and made an even bigger mistake. I went straight for the bathroom needing to finish myself off but it did no help as I just got stone hard again thinking of us in that closet. The things I would've done if we weren't interrupted, the things I still want to do.

I walked in the classroom even more pent up with angst, forcing myself to not look in her direction or else I'd get another hard on instantly. There's so much built up between us now just looking at her I could explode. And of all fucking days, douche bag Kyle has to go and piss me the fuck off! At least it caused a distraction for me and an outlet for my tension, but it all went to shit when I heard her voice speak about the assignment at hand. She was spot on in her depiction of Harry, today's model, I couldn't help but look at her and smile as I knew she was thinking of our conversation in the car. Her brilliance and passion for art is like a glowing halo over her head. Even if I was a blind man and I couldn't see her beauty, I'd feel the same exact way about her.

I pace the room with my head down as they quietly draw and my mind races back to Nikki. I've wanted her so badly for so long, but I'm her goddamn professor! If someone finds out, we're both fucked! And with that nagging thought on the forefront of my brain, I glance up and notice a familiar scene on the someone's canvas. Nikki's hand seems glued to her paper but her eyes looked fogged over like her mind is somewhere else. Back in the closet just where I left my willpower but her far too perfect artistic skills are starting to resemble her features as well as mine and if she kept going, what we shared in that pitch black closet together would be on display in this well lit room. I had no choice but to shut it down and I did so harshly to shut down any future mistake I could make with her. Because the truth is, she's so perfect, and I'm so wrong for her.

***

I walk into Grohls praying Nikki wasn't working tonight as Tony wanted to meet for drinks. I couldn't fucking tell him what happened between Nikki and me and I couldn't blow him off either. We always grab a drink every Friday night here and since his art exhibit, he's been super busy with interested buyers and bookings for his next showings.
"Geez, you look like shit! What's weighing on you man?"
"Nice to see you too Tony. How've you been?"
"Fine man. Just swamped. But you're avoiding my question. What's going on?"
"Nothing. Just a stressful class this semester, that's all."
"Ah, I know what it is. A particular student perhaps, huh?"
I gave him an eye glare and took a swig of my whiskey.
"Rachael told me all about you and Nikki."
"Of course she did. Leave it to Rach."
"Soo?"
"So nothing. She's my student."
"But you like her! You asked her out at my show!"
"I didn't know she was my student at the time, Tony!"
"So, what's the big deal? She's older than most of your students. You have a lot in common..."
"I'm her professor! I don't mix my job with my personal life!"
"You don't mix your personal life with anything! Or anyone! You don't let anyone get close to you, man!"
"Just drop it, alright, nothing can happen so let's just leave it at that!"
"We've known each other for how many years now? I know you! You purposely haven't let anyone get close to you since Jacqueline!"
"Don't fucking go there, Tony!"
I slam my glass down to the table as I start fuming with anger at the topic being brought up.
"You've had girls come and go Jake, but that's nothing. You deserve to be happy, bro! Fuck the student, teacher thing!"
"I don't deserve anything, Tony! Fucking drop it!"
"Nikki is a good girl. If she's the first one in years that makes you feel alive again then you should go for it! It's been seven years Jake! It's time to let go of the past! What happened to Jacqueline wasn't your fault!"
"FOR FUCK SAKE TONY! DROP IT!"
"Hey! You're causing a stir in this place! Both of you cool it!" Rachel came over to our table giving us each the death stare.
"Sorry, Rach! Get your man off my back!"
"Oh boy, what did I miss?" She playfully slapped Tony's chest like she was upset but followed it with a kiss to his lips.
"Nothing!" I answered for him still with rage in my voice.
"I just want to see you happy again, man," He said to me before looking at Rach sitting on his lap.
"You ready to go?" He asked her and she nodded as they both got up to leave.

I sat there and ordered another whiskey, finally without being nagged. I didn't want to think about what he said but in all honestly, I would be thinking about it the rest of the night and probably the entire damn weekend too. I wanted Nikki more than anything. Is she worth risking my job? Fuck yes, in a heartbeat! I guess my job is just a cover for the real reasons. I was damaged goods. I don't even know how to be in a relationship anymore. Even if I tried I could fuck things up and hurt her. She deserves nothing but the best and I don't know if I can give it to her. Nikki is incredible and I can already see she finds the good in everyone and everything, even if there is no good left. And you can tell from her artwork she has gone through some heartbreak, maybe with her mother's passing, or the burden of raising her brother at a young age. She doesn't deserve anything less than the best, and then there's my past.
I'll never forgive myself for what happened to Jackie. I don't let anyone get close to me because I don't want to feel that broken and vulnerable ever again. And I don't want anyone to know what happened. If Nikki found out, what would she think of me? She'd hate me I'm sure, because I will always hate myself for what I did.

***

I noticed her the second she entered the classroom. I thought about her all fucking weekend and I came to the conclusion that she would be better off without me, without my mistakes, without my past. I couldn't be the one to hurt her. I had pushed her away after the closet experience so hopefully she wants nothing more to do with me by now.
But, fuck! She looked incredible, again. Because when has she ever not looked dead gorgeous? Pushing her away may slowly be killing me but I had to do it. Hurt her a little now rather than hurt her a lot more later.
"Everyone please hand in your sketches before you leave." I said with a tired sigh. It was one of the longest hours of my life and I wasn't looking forward to all the rest of them to finish the semester. Get me the hell out of this classroom! I started packing up my things.
"Jake, do you have a minute?"
Shit! I suck in a deep breath and turn to face her.
"What's on your mind?"
"I-I thought we should talk about what happened the other day...I-" I had to cut her off now before I swooped her in my arms again.
"I'm your professor, Nicole. There can't be anything between us!"
"So that's it! You got your little fix from me! That's all I was to you!" I could see the hurt in her eyes and it nearly killed me. I wanted to take back what I said the second I said it.
"That' not it at all, Nikki-"
"No! You got a little taste what you wanted and now you're going to pretend like nothing happened!" She bashed my confidence again as her hurt turned to anger.
"You are an asshole, Jake!"
I felt like complete shit that she dropped to the conclusion that I would use her like that. I would never be that type of person. I wanted to correct her but I guess that would just confuse things. Better to think horrible of me so she wouldn't think any more of me.