Sweet as a Sunflower (akaken)

✲ Chapter 22 ✲

It's now the beginning of Keiji's 6th month in the hospital and I'm getting ready to visit him, I just need to stop by his house and get some things. As I'm getting out the shower I notice my hair is starting to turn black once again, and I'm picking at the blonde pieces. "I should re-dye it.." I murmured to myself. I grab my towel and dry myself off and brush my teeth, feeling more refreshed than ever. I was happy to see Keiji again...even though I've been visiting him everyday for almost 5 months now...but I can't help but be happy..

I need to quickly pick something out of my closet...so I picked out a gray large sweatshirt, black ripped jeans, black vans, then a gray bucket hat. I don't know why but I wanted to look really nice today..and I even combed my hair. As I'm getting ready to head to Keiji's house I blush at the image of him..I just can't wait to see him...so I try my best to speed-walk to his house.

When I get there I grab Keiji's laptop and my favorite video game for my psp, since I forgot it there last time. I lock the door behind me and make my way to the hospital with my backpack filled with goodies and things to do. Today it looked very beautiful outside..and the clouds looked so pretty and fluffy. Keiji would love this...since he likes staring at the sky often...I continue walking until I get to the hospital.

The nurses instantly let me in since I come here so often. I lightly knock on the door waiting to hear a "Come in." but, there was no response. I knock on the door once again but a little harder than before. Still no response...I quickly open the door and Keiji is laying in his bed with his head thrown back on the pillow and his eyes are closed..My heart Is beating really fast and I'm shaking like crazy.. I quickly run over to his bpm machine to check his heart rate. And It was perfectly fine..it was little slower than usual but he wasn't dead.. I sigh out of relief and let my head hang low. I hear a low cough and then a gentle voice follows behind it. "..K-kenma..?" I heard him call out.

"I'm right here.."
"..Oh you're here early today."
"Akaashi...it's four pm.."
"It is..?"
"..Yea."
"I guess I'm losing track of time..that's okay.."
"..Guess what I made you..."
"What did you make?"
"..Rice balls..I know they're your favorite so I made them." I said blushing slightly.
"Can I have one now?" Keiji asked while slowly sitting up.
"Yea sure..I'll feed it to you, I don't want you using too much of your strength."
"I'll be okay..It's just a rice ball." He said with a small chuckle.

I dig in my backpack and grab the bento box that I packed for us. I set it down in front of Keiji and he opens it. He actually looks happy..Keiji picks up a rice ball and takes a small bite out of it. He looks like he's enjoying it..that makes me happy.
"..I love it when you do things like this for me.." He admitted.
When he said that, I could feel the blush creeping up on me, covering my face.
"..I-its no p-problem..." I said as I quickly turned my head away.
'Why is he so cute..' I thought to myself.

Today we only talked and watched movies together, but I still had fun..Anything is fun when I'm with Keiji..I wish I could take him places but the nurses won't let me..ever since I snuck him out they won't let any visitors take him anywhere. But that's okay, as long as I get to be here with him that's fine.

As the movie ended I turned to Keiji and he was watching as the credits rolled by.
"Akaashi..?" I called out.
"...Yes?"
"Are you feeling okay?" I asked.
"I'm fine.."
"Are you sure?" I asked, trying to get more out of him.
"...My heart...is beating a little fast.." He mumbled, along with a small blush.
I thought for a little bit on what to do..so I decided a simple kiss would be fine. I leaned in and placed a small kiss on Keiji's lips.
His reaction was very cute, his eyes got wide and his face was a darkened shade of red.
"W-why'd you do that?" He asked nervously.
"S-sorry...you're just really cute.." I admitted as I pulled out my psp. I hunched over the small device and played animal crossing.

"..I-i always seem to find myself thinking 'Is there going to be a day where I'll never see you again?' and, I'm aware that there's a sixty-to-forty chance that it can happen...but I can't help but be so attached to you...and I don't know what to do..I'm not a doctor or a magician..so I can't fix you.." My stomach churned as those words spewed out, I could feel the tears clashing their way out of my eyes.
"It may seem like it but...I can't accept this..I wanted to stay here longer..I knew this before I met you, so I decided not to get too attached to anyone but then bokuto, kuroo, tsukishima, kageyama, and then...you...It's like people keep gravitating towards me and I can't stop them..because I care too much..." I could see the pain in his eyes before he turned to stare out his window.
"Are you saying...that you regret meeting me?" I mumbled.
"No...I'm saying..you should regret meeting me.."
"I refuse to live in a world like that..if I never met you, I'd be in a fake fabricated version of 'being in love with kuroo.' I'd be lonely and sad. Kuroo understood me but he only understood the things he learned on his own, I never told him anything about me...but I've told you everything..you're the only one I'd entrust my whole self with.."
I watched the tears fall down Keiji's cheeks as he turned to face me. He smiled, but it was a smile that held in a lot of pain..his eyebrows twitched and wobbled as the tears streamed down.

"...I'm so selfish...I knew that this was happening and I still fell in love with you, and you fell in love with me...but I'll never say that was a mistake and I'll never say I regret falling in love with you."
All I could do was embrace him. I wanted to feel him, and hold him..why is it that I can't help but still want to be by his side? These emotions are very persuasive..but my body is just following their instructions but, my mind is also saying this is good. So, I guess this makes it okay..
As I wrapped my arms around his slightly cold body, I felt him relax and calm down. And as we laid there, I felt like we became one again..even though I knew..

We'd become half again as well...

Happy birthday Akaashi :)