Through the Awakening (Harry Styles) [Bk. 2]

61. Good Question

Author's Note

Hello my loves! How are all of you? I hope you all have had the chance to check out my new update on The Act. Please, if you have not check out that story at all please do. I know that there are very little parts but i promise i will update and things will start to build. I have everything planned out for that story and for this one i just need time to actually write it and put it all together :)

Thank you sooooo much for your patience. I love you all so much! Please do not forget to comment, vote and share! BYE BYE!! XOXOXO

Elizabeth’s POV

After the movie ended we all headed back to our rooms. I turned on the TV before climbing into bed. I fluffed up my pillow before lying down covering myself with the black comforter. My channel flipping was interrupted by Harry walking into the room closing the door behind him wearing his grey pajama pants and plain black T-shirt.  I smile at him resting my hand, which was holding onto the remote, across my stomach; feeling butterflies flying around in my belly.

God, how can someone look so damn good looking in just plain pajamas? I swear this man is going to kill me. 

“So did you enjoy today?” Harry asks climbing into bed beside me before pulling the comforter over himself leaning his back against the head board.

“Yea” I nodded. “Thank you so much, Harry. But you really didn’t have to go through so much trouble”

Harry smiles at me. “It’s alright.” Harry pauses. "I just felt really guilty about everything.” He mumbles. I frown at him letting go of the remote and reached up to tug at his arm. Harry leans away from the head board scooting down to lay beside me holding himself up on his elbow. 

“I just… I know I am not the best person to be around, let alone the right person to be with.” He starts and I open my mouth to speak but he holds up his hand, stopping me. “Look, Elizabeth, you have no idea how much I regret leaving you but you have to understand I didn’t have a choice or at least I thought I didn’t. Yes, Dominic did let me go but then when I came to find you I realized that I could have left if I wanted to.” 

I look into his eyes listening to him intently. I want to speak up but I know I have to listen to what he has to say. After all, this is the first time he is finally explaining himself to me ever since he got back.

“I know that I have told you this before. But when I came back to see you at the academy and when I saw you with Aaron… I realized that if I did love you then why the hell didn’t I just leave Dominic?” He asks but I knew he didn’t really want an answer because it sounded more like he was asking himself. I continued to look at Harry with a frown on my face and he was looking absentmindedly over my shoulder.

“I mean I have done it before so why the hell didn’t I do it for the girl I love?” He whispered, guilt clearly shown all over his sculptured face, his green eyes clouded.

 I shook my head blinking at him. I don’t care if he isn’t done explaining, I’d much rather step in now than to have him feel this guilty.

I sit up and move to sit on top of him, my legs on either side of him. Harry looks up at me confused, his eyebrows creased but his eyes looked lifeless. I know where this is going and I can’t bear seeing him this upset. If he continues this man is going to wrap himself in a shelter of guilt and God only knows how long it will take me to pull him out of it. I gently place my hands on either side of his face spreading my fingers, my thumbs rubbing the apples of his cheeks.

“Harry Styles” I begin looking into his eyes. “I know where you are going with this and I am not going to allow it.” I scowl down at him, not because I am mad at him; I’m upset with the fact that he always thinks the worst of himself. He should not be carrying all of this guilt and burden on his shoulders if he is the only one who makes me feel like I am at the top of the world.

“You should not feel guilty Harry. All of that is behind us.” I whisper staring into his guarded green eyes. How many times do I have to tell you that?” Harry diverts his eyes away from me looking at a random space to our side.

“Harry would you look at me” I say with a bit of venom in my voice so he would actually pay attention.  Harry glances back at me, looking like a small child being reprimanded by his mother. In all honesty, I don’t care if he actually feels like a child. If he wants to use the guilt card and pout about it like a child then I will treat him like one.

“Please Harry; we agreed that we would put all of this behind us.”

“I know” He whispers. “But it’s just…” He stops and I instantly begin to feel anxious.

“What, Harry?” I ask looking back and forth from his eyes.

“You said that you would love me forever right?” He asks. I slowly nod feeling slightly more anxious.

“Then how is that going to happen when all of you grow old and I stay the same?”

I blink at him, my lips parted slightly at his words and it’s like someone had just stabbed me with a knife. Of course, I knew that Harry wouldn’t age and of course I knew we had to have this conversation sometime soon. However, I much rather put this conversation off as much as I can because this subject …the thought of losing him sickens me to the core. Although, it wouldn’t be the first time.  

“That’s a good question” I whisper trying my best not to sound sad but failed miserably.