Accidental Friends | A BTSxReader friendship fic

Chapter 18: Model Confidence

After our shift ended at two pm, we went home for a bit to grab our picnic matt and shed everything we won't be needing for the shoot before heading straight to unnie's house. Haneul unnie's place is the same as always, the same grown-up and neat aesthetics, the plush dark grey couch and glass coffee table surrounded by the cream and beige walls, the same cute but minimalistic decor giving out the same comfortable cool-older-sister-slash-mom vibe. I absolutely love it. There is a slight increase in décor and things in the room that I assume belongs to Jihoon hyung, Haneul unnie's husband, but it still feels so— her.

When we arrived, unnie immediately led us into the kitchen where she laid a variety of makeup neatly on the counter that is illuminated by the bright white light hanging from the ceiling. I sit on one of the high chairs in front of the island as I feel a pair of eyes on me. She's looking at my hair. I feel unsettled, almost like the stare will create a hole where it lands. I look at her, she's looking at me with an innocent gaze, almost admiring. I exhale in relief. So it's just me. I muss with my hair, combing it again and again with my hand, still feeling a little awkward with it.

I'm not wearing the wig. I wanted to bring it with me in case I need it after the photoshoot but I pushed that thought away, took it off and left it back home.

Come on. You have an excuse to be feeling like a model because you are one today, Y/n, take the chance and do it!

But now that there's no turning around and going back in to grab the wig sitting at home, I just want to cover my face, or preferably crumple myself up and toss it into the trash, because, why am I like this? I was completely fine yesterday. What's wrong with me? I sigh. "Unnie, can I use the bathroom?"

"Of course, Y/n. You know where it is." She smiles at me before slapping Hunnie's grabby hands away from the makeup that is already arranged so neatly on the island. Hunnie whines and she glares at her, not-entertained.

I wet my face, in an attempt to wake up. Wake up. I look in the mirror. You were never like this before, Y/n, what happened? This doesn't seem like you at all? What had gotten into you? I don't know. I stare at the mirror. I don't look bad at all. No eyebags, no significant stress acne. I'm just me, just plain old Y/n, but why do I feel like hiding? Why are my eyes look back at myself lifelessly? Why am I so tired even though I got plenty of sleep last night?

Calm down Y/n. Calm down. Come on, Hunnie always says that it suits you, that your RBF makes the haircut works so well. Don't you trust her?

And I do. I really do. I trust her, I want to believe her. So, I wipe my face with a piece of tissue, wipe my damp hand on my pants and come back out from the bathroom where I tuck away the ugly crawling feeling. Hopefully, they won't follow me out of there.

***

"This isn't too much?" I ask Haneul unnie who hands me a hand mirror as I sit with my back slouched, almost retreating into myself, on one of her tall chairs next to her kitchen island.

She smiles and shakes her head. "I personally think you look like a model. You need to work on your posture though. Oof. Especially your upper back." I laugh. "Come on. Shoulders down, head held high, neck elongated."

I do as I am told and sit a bit straighter. Whatever made me feel like crumpling myself into a ball retreats a little, back into the shadow. Maybe this is why most confident people seem to have great posture. It helps.

"Hunnie? What do you think?" I ask Hunnie who is slouching, looking at her phone next to Haneul unnie. She looks up. "Is it good enough?" the feeling starts creeping out a little again and I stutter. "I- I know the makeup is really great because unnie is amazing but I wonder if I—"