A Burden I Will Bear

⬜️Anxiety or....⬜️

A/N:
This chapter is slightly more light hearted since ouma is the more positive one of the two :) (wow right? He's the positive one like dam-)
But like a good author you shall never escape angst so!

⚠️ TW: mentions of abuse and self harm ⚠️

*Ouma's POV*

7:30am
———————————————-
Friday//at home

I was sitting on my bed and it was 30 minutes until school started
"KO its getting late do you need a ride?" My dad called up from the kitchen so i finished putting plasters on my finger tips;grabbed my bag and ran down the stairs "good morning dad, also please i want to meet saihara-chan before classes" he gave me a light chuckle and handed me two bentos and two panta bottles "here for your little boyfriend! Make sure he eats ...the poor kid" my face flushed at his words "h-he's not my boyfriend!" I quickly grabbed the food and stuffed it in my bag "sure sure cmon get in the car ko" i nodded still bright red and ran to the back seat of my dads car.

Right now life is decent! For me at least. I know some of my friends have or had it rough...especially saihara-chan and he's the one i want to be happy the most. Of course I'm not entirely ok. It'll take a long while before i am but I'm working on it. At least I'm in an accepting house hold with a healthy loving parent. After the hell i went through for 8 and half years i cant help but be happy. I still have a mission though! I will make saihara-chan happy! I will do it "oh hey ko daiki will be home late today so ill be making dinner" Dad started conversation.

"Speaking of him Hey dad where's Daiki?" "Oh he's at work. Early start!" " We're here have a good day son, show me this "saihara-chan" some time soon huh!" I blushed and quickly said a goodbye getting out the car as my dad chuckled.

I ran up the hill to school and to saihara's favourite tree where unsurprisingly he was sitting listening to music but today like every few days he had injures.. a bandaid across his nose, bandages around his neck, a black eye and new bangages around his wrists. I sigh and walk over sitting next to him. For some reason my anxious persona come out in school. Who am i kidding it's oviously the halls full of creeps and bullies....but my heart beats quickly around saihara,, it's probably just anxiety..but why is my face hot?

"M-Morning saihara-chan!" I poke his shoulder lightly and he turns to look at me with a bright but tired smile "hello, ouma-chan how has your morning been?" He's so sweet... but he's nice to everyone "g-good, my dad took m-me to school t-today, if you dont mind me prying w-what happened to you?"i looked down.. i hate eye contact especially when his face looks like that...when he looks like he's reliving a terrible memory..like he's broken but the usually sad expression was angry...like he was back in the hallway "i 'insulted' my dad's girlfriend when i refused to eat her food. Its nothing personal! I just ........" he inaudibly mumbled the last part "s-sorry what was t-that?" He sighed and smiled "i just didn't deserve it" i looked at the ground yet again with nothing to say "s-so he did t-that just because y-you didnt eat his g-girlfriend's food?" He shrugged " 'fraid so" he chuckled a bit..how can he be so calm, talking about something so heavy.. "but its fine at least your talking to me my beloved~" he smiled almost flirtatious.. "s-s-stop saihara-chan" i raised my knees up to my face and buried my head between them and my hands attempting to hide my blush....and the goofy smile that was forming on my face..

Dammit saihara..

He just chuckled and pet my head softly..

Dammit Saihara!

My blush deepened "h-hey saihara-chan w-would you like to come over to m-my house...for a sleepover? I-it can be like a break from....that"
I raised my head from my knees and waited for a response....it was quiet for a bit..probably seconds but it felt like forever, i anxiously scratched and my unbadages fingers before i felt a slap moving my hands away from each other "s-sorry if i hurt you or anything but dont do that" he smiled warmly "r-right s-sorry" "about your offer, I'd love to" i sighed..it was like pressure being lifted off my back "yay! J-just walk h-home with me after s-school! Is thats ok..." he giggled "your adorable ouma-chan"
AAAAAAAA s t o p my heart chant take this-

"H-hey saihara-chan w-we've spent a lot of t-time together why d-dont you call me kokichi" i sucked in a deep breath...what if i was too straight forward or what if he dosent like me anymore?! What if- "r-really? I'm honoured my beloved! Then you call me shuichi!" I blushed yet again
geez calm down ouma!

"Shuichi.....a-alright" i smiled crookedly still a flustered mess, he returned it not helping my pounding heart "lets go my beloved its almost class time" shuichi got up and held a hand out for me....heh, shuichi. Maybe it's not just anxiety... but he could never like me he's nice to everyone right?